If you want to have a relationship that is full of romance, joy and love, you need to know exactly what to look for in a guy.
The right guy for you will need to have specific characteristics that are compatible with your personality but there are a few traits that should be non-negotiable and apply no matter what.
A man who is honest, trusting, loyal, secure and funny, amongst other things, is a total catch.
That’s the kind of guy who will treat you with respect and make your romantic dreams come to life.
Knowing what to look for in a man can be the thing that prevents you from having a toxic relationship.
So, with that being said, here’s an in-depth look at what to look for in a guy before getting serious with someone.
1. A Guy Who Has His Life Together
It takes great strength and maturity to have one’s life together and that is an important trait to have in a man who can be a quality partner.
Discipline, commitment and dedication are all attributes present in someone who has got all their ducks in a row.
Why is this important?
Relationships are hard work. Falling for someone doesn’t guarantee the permanency of a relationship.
You have to be willing to show up each and every day in order to become better partners for each other and navigate the relationship into a place that makes both of you happy.
2. Romantic And Thoughtful
Believe it or not, there are many people who end up in a relationship with someone who is toxic and a poor lover.
We are not always driven by what’s good for us.
Sometimes, when we engage ourselves sexually or invest too much time and effort into someone, the desire to get them overpowers the critical analysis of whether he is relationship material or not.
Then you find yourself dating a guy who doesn’t make any effort to make you feel special, let alone loved.
If you sign yourself up for something like this, then it’s not necessarily the guy who is at fault.
You are at fault for not negotiating a better relationship and believing that you deserve much better.
3. Trustworthy And Loyal
You’ve probably been in an experience like this before when you meet a guy who is charming, handsome, confident, smart and so forth.
But, when it comes to being in a committed relationship, he just completely fails and may even cheat.
He may even try but the temptation to chase after the next best thing is too much for him to control so he goes out and sacrifices wonderful connections and relationships to get laid.
Find a man who has healthy relationships in his life. From friendships to family, be observant of how he behaves with the people closest to him.
Listen for warning signs in his stories pertaining to past relationships.
Be alert for whether he is cagey and secretive.
You don’t have to be paranoid but there’s no harm in doing just a little due diligence before you lay your heart out on a silver platter.
4. Adventurous And Spontaneous
If there’s anything that can kill the spark and intensity of a relationship, it’s monotony.
Don’t get me wrong, at some point, you will experience a lull in your relationship with someone as you get more into a routine with your partner and life starts to catch up to you.
But, having a partner who is fun, adventurous and spontaneous creates opportunities for the two of you to do things that reinvigorate the relationship when you hit these dry patches.
Spontaneity doesn’t necessitate that a man must always be willing to do crazy things at the spur of the moment.
But if he is willing to try a new place, make a plan to travel with you somewhere or be experimental in a romantic, normal and sexual way, then you have someone who has the potential of being an amazing partner for life.
5. Opinionated And Driven
I think it’s important for a woman to be with a man who can not just stand up for her but stand up to her when he feels differently about something.
It’s not about fighting.
Fighting just ruins attraction.
I’m talking about a man who has a backbone.
A man who treats you like a person, an individual who he can engage with intellectually as well.
If a man is too scared to stand up to you during moments when you may be wrong or unreasonable (because we all have our moods at some point), then how can you trust that he will stand up for you when you need him.
6. Secure And Understanding
When you find a man who is secure in his life and his own skin, you find that he is far more comfortable and easy-going in the relationship.
Rather than having to deal with unnecessary bouts of jealousy and manipulation, you find yourself with a man who trusts you completely.
Having that in a relationship is a beautiful feeling.
You start to feel like a team rather than the possession of an insecure man who looks at you like a showpiece or handbag instead of a vibrant, beautiful and ambitious woman.
This extends into the way he communicates and expresses his feelings for you.
Gone are the days when you have to chase incessantly and be miserable for days just to know how he feels or what he thinks.
7. A Guy Who Isn’t Controlling
Feeding off the last point, a man who isn’t controlling exhibits traits of confidence and maturity that is attractive and invigorating.
You’ll find yourself wanting to be in his presence all the time.
More importantly, the feeling of complete freedom to be who you truly are around him will intoxicate you.
When you’re thinking about what to look for in a guy, make sure to find someone who will give you space and freedom to express yourself and grow independently and with him.
8. A Guy Who Has A Sense Of Humour
Last but most certainly not least, a man who can make you laugh will put a smile on your face even in the most trying of times.
Life is quite difficult as it is.
We are often faced with adversity and deadlines almost daily.
Having someone who can be funny and joyous creates positive energy that will transform the way you feel even after a bad day.
A man who doesn’t take himself too seriously all the time is someone who is capable of having a fun and easy relationship without as much of the drama you are probably used to.
Don’t Compromise On What To Look For In A Guy
Your heart is on the line, so is your time, effort and energy.
You deserve a guy who is of high quality. Think about someone who meets your criteria and is willing to treat you with respect and love the way you would treat him.
Use this article as a soundboard to make a list of all the traits you want to look for in a guy.
Doing this little activity will open your eyes to the kind of guy who is perfect for you.
And when you put that out into the world, the world will respond by sending guys who eventually knock your socks.
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