Are you feeling lonely after a breakup?
It may seem like a silly question, but I had to ask.
Do you know what’s ironic? There have been times when I was surrounded by people after a breakup, but I felt lonely without my ex.
It’s a terrible feeling that continuously rises and falls unpredictably.
Sometimes it’s ignorable, and other times it’s staring you in the face.
Loneliness is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to be permanent.
It’s the residual feelings of love and the pain of loss that color your world black and white with loneliness.
What you need right now isn’t more people, and I won’t waste your time with obvious suggestions.
Instead, I want to focus on ways to cope with loneliness while you rediscover your purpose in life and sense of wellbeing.
If you can invest time, energy, and effort into coping with the breakup and moving on, I promise you, the feeling of loneliness will subside.
After applying these suggestions, my paradigm shifted. When I was by myself, rather than feeling lonely, I felt comforted and peaceful because I was in good company. I realized that healing and moving on helped me develop a better relationship with myself, and that made the biggest difference in my life.
10 Ways To Cope With Feeling Lonely After Breakup
1. Allow Yourself To Grieve
The best way to disarm loneliness is to accept it. I learned about this technique from a book called Letting Go. The idea behind this book is that suffering comes from wanting reality to be different than it is.
The more you resist, the worse it feels. Believe me when I tell you that it’s normal to feel sad, angry, or even numb after a breakup.
Allow yourself to experience these emotions rather than suppressing or escaping them.
Give yourself time to grieve the loss of the relationship without self-criticism or shame.
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Don’t even label this period of your life as a bad phase. Just let things be and watch how the feeling of loneliness loses its power over you faster than it normally does.
2. Engage In Self-Care
There’s no better way to occupy yourself during times of emotional suffering than with self-care.
It rewires your brain to treat yourself kindly and compassionately whenever you are overwhelmed with loneliness. The result of continued self-care is peace, strength, and comfort.
Focus on taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally by eating healthily, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good.
3. Stay Busy And Active
I believe that the remedy for a lonely heart is a busy mind. Rather than sitting around and wallowing in sadness over the breakup, you could just channel your energy and attention to other things when it’s too much to deal with.
Keep yourself occupied with hobbies, interests, or projects that you enjoy. It must be easy enough to enjoy but challenging enough to be engaging.
Personally, playing sports has been a great way to keep me occupied, and so has playing chess.
I actually forget about all my loneliness or sad feelings when I’m laser focused on winning at these hobbies.
4. Explore New Activities
The novelty and anxiety of new activities can be so engaging that you may forget about how you feel for some time. Join a club, take a class, or volunteer in your community.
Meeting new people and engaging in new experiences can help alleviate loneliness, as long as your intention isn’t to find a replacement for your ex.
When you remove these expectations of love, that’s when you’re most likely to have a good time while meeting new people.
5. Stay Connected With Loved Ones
It’s silly of us to overlook our loved ones after a breakup, but I understand how the loss of someone important blinds us to everything and everyone else who is still around. Don’t make this mistake.
You have so much love and attention to give; why not spend it on people who love you and care about you?
Over time, you’ll find yourself hanging out with them even when you’re not lonely, and these relationships will begin to thrive more than they ever have before.
6. Practice Mindfulness And Self-Reflection
When loneliness triggers extreme amounts of anxiety and overthinking, the best thing you can do is slow down and be mindful. Take time to reflect on the relationship and what you’ve learned from it.
Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation or deep breathing to help calm your mind and reduce stress.
Conversely, if loneliness is triggering depression, get out and get moving. Movement will get your blood flowing, improve your breathing, and encourage the release of endorphins that make you feel better.
7. Seek Professional Support If Needed
I’m an advocate for professional help, especially when you don’t have a great support structure around you.
I’m not ashamed to say that I utilized the help of a professional when I was going through one of the hardest times in my life, which was preceded by a breakup. It wasn’t even about the advice.
Just having a professional overlook my journey who was invested in watching me overcome my problems gave me a sense of power and enthusiasm to grow.
If you’re struggling to cope with loneliness or finding it difficult to move on from the breakup, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor.
8. Limit Contact With Your Ex
While it may be tempting to maintain contact with your ex, especially if you’re feeling lonely, it’s important to give yourself space to heal.
Limiting or cutting off contact with your ex can help you focus on your own healing and moving forward.
Trying to remain in contact with your ex will only remind you of what has ended.
They’re no longer your person, and if they start to treat you differently or less like a priority, which they will, it will enhance the feeling of loneliness.
Take control of the situation and limit contact with them.
9. Set Goals For Yourself
Give yourself something to work towards by setting personal or professional goals. This can help give you a sense of direction and purpose and can also distract you from feelings of loneliness.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, goals and objectives are of paramount importance in your life.
Everyone should continue to strive for something meaningful, regardless of age and circumstances. Make a list of things you can achieve over the next few months and attack them with vigor.
Watch how it gradually shifts your focus away from your ex or your feelings of loneliness and towards these goals.
10. Be Patient With Yourself
Those who fixate on moving on often take longer because they’re constantly thinking about their breakup. Make it a mission of yours to live the best life that you are capable of.
The more you fall in love with life as an individual, the more likely you are to overcome loss and loneliness.
Healing from a breakup takes time, so be patient with yourself and progress at your own pace.
Remember that it’s okay to have good days and bad days, and that healing is a gradual process.
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