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How To Overcome The Fear Of Being Cheated On

cheated on, fear of being cheated on

I used to think that being cheated on was one of the worst things that could happen to me. And it happened. One time is more than enough to trigger the fear of being cheated on.

Since then, I have found myself carrying that baggage with me into every new relationship.

Perhaps you can relate to this, but from the get-go, I would feel afraid of my new partner cheating on me. I’d read into things more than I should. I’d search for any kind of warning sign that my partner was being unfaithful.

This would either put a spanner in the works or cause serious unnecessary problems in my relationships.

I’m not ashamed to admit it. I fell into this dark pit of fear, and it consumed me.

Rather than enjoy my relationships, I was perpetually in a state of concern and worry.

I spoke about it, and that helped, but it would place a bigger struggle on my partner than was needed.

It’s also quite unattractive.

But I got over it. And it wasn’t any single article or moment that fixed it for me. To an extent, dating better-quality people helped me overcome my fear of being cheated on, but it was an internal evolution that made the biggest difference.

How To Get Over The Fear Of Being Cheated On

cheated on, how to overcome the fear of being cheated on

1. Being Cheated On Is Not Your Fault

What I failed to do after being cheated on was reflect, accept, and overcome.

I played the victim, rightfully so, but to my own detriment.

I allowed my self-confidence to be annihilated, and I gave more power to my cheating lovers rather than holding onto some of that for myself.

Instead of acknowledging that the person I gave myself to was a POS or of low character, I decided to blame myself.

My search for an answer would obviously lead to my insecurities flaring up.

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When someone cheats on you, that’s not a reflection of you; it’s a reflection of them.

Take them off that pedestal immediately and see them for the flawed person they are.

Accept the situation for what it was, and don’t bang your head against the wall trying to understand why.

Walk away with your dignity and rebuild.

2. Cheaters Cheat, And Liars Lie

No healthy relationship is built on the foundation of forced limitation.

If you have to force or manipulate your partner into being faithful, you’re fighting a losing battle, and you will constantly fear being cheated on.

That’s just a fact.

As I’ve gotten older, my perception of relationships and partners has changed.

I don’t need to stop my partner from cheating. In fact, I’m completely indifferent to it.

My mindset is this: if a relationship is built on trust, then I’ll take no active steps to keep you from cheating. In fact, I’ll give my partner all the freedom in the world to cheat and expect them not to.

If my partner cheats, then I know for a fact that they don’t deserve me at all, and that’s an immediate disqualification. And if she doesn’t cheat, then that not only improves the trust and bond between us, but my respect grows beyond bounds.

Honestly, you’re cheating yourself out of a beautiful, trusting relationship by investing your time in the fear of being cheated on.

The right people aren’t going to cheat on you.

They don’t need you to prevent them from cheating because they have no interest in that. They need you to show up in the relationship as best you can. Period.

3. Face Your Fear

The greatest way to overcome fear is to face it head-on.

In my experience, rather than running from the possibility of getting cheated on, I embraced the possibility and pushed forward with that in mind.

Taking a chance on someone good and putting your trust in them is pure. It gives someone the opportunity to do right by you.

And I’ve had some of the best relationships in my life with this approach.

I know that pain is unavoidable, but it will not rule me.

If I have to face the pain of being cheated on again, then so be it. But I’m not going down without a fight.

To have something amazing, you have to be willing to do the hard stuff!

4. Remind Yourself That You Are A Strong Person

No truer words have ever been spoken. Think about the times you questioned whether you could survive something traumatic but did.

Those battles prove how resilient you are as a person.

Even if someone cheats on you, not only is it their loss, but it’s something that you will absolutely overcome and grow from.

You’re not defined by the actions of anyone else, not even the people you love the most.

So instead of worrying about how dreadful it will be if you are cheated on, embrace the reality that you will 100% bounce back from it and go on to fall for someone else in the future again.

It all comes down to unplugging from that emotionally charged feeling of fear and reminding yourself that life doesn’t work the way your fear paints reality.

This is why I highly recommend you read my article on why being single is good for you and how to be single and happy. They will help you work through these issues so that you enter your next relationship with the best possible attitude and mindset.

5. Let Go Of Your Regrets

I don’t need to tell you that we can’t change the past because you already know that.

All those regrets we have just pile up on our hearts, preventing us from loving freely, completely, and happily.

Forgiveness and acceptance are so freaking difficult when you’ve been wronged, but they are imperative.

Why should we suffer for years while the people who cheated on us move on and enjoy their lives?

Every time you act on your fear of being cheated on, you give a part of yourself and power to that person and their actions.

They don’t deserve it!

Go back and face your demons. Get rid of the regret and pain you still carry in your heart.

Find a way to feel it and heal it.

Start by simply letting go of your regrets and the past. Focus on the present moment as best you can.

I recommend reading The Power of Now to truly unlock the wonderful benefits of being present in the present moment.

For me, letting go means acknowledging when I’m in a fearful state and choosing to act in spite of my fear. I don’t allow my decisions and life path to be dictated by fear. I use fear as a guide. If I’m afraid of someone specific cheating on me, it either means that I really care about that person or that there are red flags that I’m overlooking.

If it’s the former, then I lean into the person.

If it’s the latter, I take a step back and observe them with more scrutiny.

6. Surround Yourself With Better People

We are the sum total of the five closest people to us.

After being cheated on, I’ve taken a great deal of care to curate my close circle.

If someone is untrustworthy or lacks integrity, they’re kept at a distance.

Despite what you may think, the world is full of loyal and trustworthy people who wish to be in a loving and long-term relationship.

I strongly believe in the law of attraction.

Do your best to let the universe know exactly what you want through your words and actions.

Start with that, and you’ll slowly find yourself surrounded by people who are of a higher quality than you’d ever expect.

Life is a journey.

There will be ups and downs. You’ve been through a down; now it’s time for an up.

Hang in there and have faith.

7. Heal Your Insecurities

For as long as you can’t bring yourself to face the demons of your past, you will continue to face the fear of being cheated on.

I’ve been through this myself.

The past cannot be changed. No matter how much we wish to rewrite the battles of the past, we can’t. What we can and must do is learn from it and grow stronger from it.

Ever since I came to this realization, I go back to moments of defeat and pain to face them head-on.

That’s my way of showing those incidents and people from the past that you won’t defeat me.

I’m okay with feeling pain now because nothing good comes from fleeing the scene of suffering.

We must suffer to grow.

That’s the secret sauce most people will avoid embracing because they’re scared of pain. Don’t be one of those people.

When you choose to take ownership of suffering, that’s when it loses the control it has over you.

And if it can’t control you anymore, then you have complete control over it.

If you can reach this point, I promise you, the fear of being cheated on will never impact your life or relationships ever again.

8. Talk About It

It’s okay to admit that you’re afraid, especially of someone you care about and want to be with.

Fear has this tendency of tricking us into believing that we are too weak to express ourselves. It does this to prevent us from breaking down a wall that could help us overcome it.

Fear is the same kind of emotion that whispers negativity and thoughts of failure into your mind. It wants you to remain safely wrapped within a bubble.

That safe bubble has one result: a slow, lonely, and painful death.

And what’s sad is that everyone has to die at some point or another.

The only difference is that some people live a life full of adventure, whereas others confine themselves to a 4 x 4 cell of safety.

One dies with little to no regret, whereas the other dies with a bed of regret.

The fear of being cheated on wants you to stay safely isolated, but you and I know that we can’t live a wholesome life in that manner.

Everyone needs someone. Even if it’s for a short amount of time.

Open up to the person you care about. Let them support you during this rough patch.

To overcome the fear of being cheated on is an internal battle, but it can be done with external support.

Just imagine how safe you will feel if you manage to overcome this fear with someone by your side!

Final Thoughts

Fear is based on what could happen in the future. It is also the concern of what you may do if something specific happens.

Understandably, we all have fears. It can’t be avoided.

Yours just happens to be the fear of being cheated on.

But what if you could focus your mind on living in the moment? Could you be happy?

What if you made the conscious decision to enjoy a relationship right now in spite of your fear of what could happen? Wouldn’t that be a way of overcoming that fear?

I think there’s more to be gained from being able to control yourself in spite of fears than from hoping to live without them.

Think about how strong-willed you can become by simply defying your fears.

Imagine being the kind of person who isn’t ruled or controlled by his or her fearful feelings! You could accomplish great things and live a wholesome life without regret.

That’s what you have to gain by living life right now, despite and in spite of your fears.

5 thoughts on “How To Overcome The Fear Of Being Cheated On”

  1. Oh my gosh I have searched article after article trying to find some answers with the demons I have about the fear of being cheated on and FINALLY your article GAVE ME PEACE. Thank you!

  2. The article is great and encourages you to keep pressing forwards despite any circumstances. Very well written, and will even be used as daily inspiration to be my best self and the right people will come along and you will find yourself never worrying again.

  3. Thank you so much for this article. I have struggled with this fear for decades. I have been afraid that I’ll never be free from this fear and my partner will have to keep bearing the burden (even though he doesn’t deserve it). You have brought me so much hope. Just the simple sentence “But I got over it” brought me to tears. Thank you for being open and vulnerable.

  4. Gosh, this article brought me to tears. I’ve been heavily struggling with this fear for quite some years and this past year it’s starting to consume me even more. It’s putting a huge strain on my own mental health, and the health of my relationship.
    I don’t know if I can hope that I’ll be able to live with this fear, but this article brought some peace to my mind. I could even think for a moment: “even if I ever get cheated on, I will be able to survive and I will be able to be a whole, content person of my own.”
    I think I’ll be coming back to this article quite a few times. Thank you for the words.

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