One of the worst-case scenarios when dating is crossing paths with a player. They can be so charming and loving at first but by the end of your love affair with a player, you’re left feeling betrayed, heartbroken and confused by what happened. If you can spot a player early on, it may help save you from this pain. In today’s article, I’m going to answer the following questions – would a player text you every day?
During the initial phase of courtship when you appear to be a challenge, a player would text you every day and say anything he or she can to make you like them. Once he or she finds someone else or knows that you’re in love, that’s when a player starts to text less and grow distant.
Most players thrive and feed off the thrill associated with the chase.
It’s the validation from being able to make you fall in love with him or her that influences their behavior.
What’s scary about a player is that he/she understands exactly what you’re looking for. They know how to present an image of someone who is committed, loyal, invested and loving without actually being any of those things.
I like to compare players to actors because they are capable of playing the role of a great potential partner while playing you the entire time.
The reason why people refer to someone who secretly has multiple partners as a player is that they view relationships and dating as a game.
To them, it’s all about using tactics and tricks to acquire as many lovers as possible and that itself is the reward.
Most players cannot sustain this level of affection and attention for extended periods of time.
Well, because they have too many people expecting their attention and this makes it almost impossible to sustain.
But, impossibility will not stop them from trying but someone or the other will start to be neglected.
Those daily texts will slow down and excuses will pile up until you’re left wondering whether they’re losing interest or something is wrong.
That gut feeling will be unshakable and you’ll battle with it even with the player reassuring you.
At that point, your gut instinct has identified a potential danger.
Related post: Is he using me?
Why do players text you every day?
To gain your trust. You see, players understand how people are wary of those who are not consistent in their effort.
A morally good person will not use this information to exploit or manipulate others. They want to show up daily in hopes of building long-term trust for a solid relationship.
A player, on the other hand, exploits this by texting you every day until you create the first impression of them which is that of someone who can be trusted to show up and someone who genuinely wants you.
The player knows how to identify when you start gaining legitimate interest and at that point, he or she will avoid texting you every now and then.
The reason for doing this is to create uncertainty and excitement.
They want to figure out your level of interest while creating a stronger desire by making you miss them.
At this point, you’ll be the one pursuing them and that’s when the player knows that it’s only a matter of time before you’re putty in their hands.
I tend to notice a correlation between love bombing and players.
If you’re unfamiliar with the term love bombing, it refers to someone throwing non-stop gestures of affection and attention at you without any expectation of it until you are swept away by what seems like love.
In reality, love bombing tends to strong-arm you into a relationship because of momentum rather than a genuine desire and connection.
Narcissists are another group of individuals who are known to use love bombing as a technique of manipulation.
You’re unable to pick up on the red flags because the entire time you’re getting to know them, they’re dropping gesture after gesture of affection and attention.
Related post: Why do guys like situationships?
Signs someone is a player
1. They barely refer to you by your name
Because players are entertaining multiple people at the same time, it can be quite confusing and potentially dangerous to use names within texts.
He or she could mistakenly call you by someone else’s name or whatever it may be.
So, to combat this issue, players tend to use generic terms of endearment such as “babe” or “sweetheart” and so forth.
They’re not going to make any slip-ups by doing this and it’s easier to handle multiple conversations at the same time without giving away their true nature.
2. They try to convince you to trust them
I noticed that players have a habit of painting themselves to be victims of cheating or heartbreak while fully intending on playing you.
Not only does this gain them sympathy but it also brings your guard down because we normally assume that someone who understands heartbreak will often avoid subjecting someone else to that pain or hurt.
Players feed off this knowledge and create a narrative that builds trust when in reality, they’re the least trustworthy people you could encounter.
3. They run hot and cold once you’re all in
During the early days of courtship, a player may lovebomb you or resort to consistent but laid-back effort to gain your attention.
They may not come across as desperate by playing it cool but this is intentional.
Often, a player may spin a tale that he or she is really hardworking which is why they aren’t around all the time but they show up every day as a sign of interest and commitment.
Unfortunately, this is untrue and once they get you to fall for them, things start to change.
You’ll notice a shift in the relationship dynamic. No longer will he or she be pursuing you. It may even feel like you’re doing all the initiating texts, calls and dates.
As you invest more into the relationship, you miss some of the warning signs and start to give him or her more leeway to run hot and cold, chalking it up to whatever reason they give you.
4. Their stories don’t add up
One thing to note about all players is that they’re master manipulators and expert liars.
They will create the most realistic lies and stories but the problem with spinning tales is that you can spin one around yourself that ties you up in a web of lies.
You’ll notice small details start to change in any account of past stories that are discussed again.
Their reasons for being distant or not introducing you to their family and friends make sense but often leave behind an ugly taste in your mouth.
These are just signs of someone who cannot be trusted.
5. They’re secretive online and with their phone
When you notice that their profiles are private or they’re interacting with people you don’t know despite them claiming that it’s just strangers, family or an old friend, it’s something to take note of.
It becomes even more apparent that this person has something to hide when they never leave their phone alone and you can’t even get a glimpse of it.
In fact, most people who have been cheated on noticed their partner taking their phone to the bathroom even just to avoid leaving it in your reach.
Understandably, it can be quite difficult to differentiate between a player who would text you every day and someone who just really has a high level of interest.
What you have to work on is your vetting process, pay attention to the details of any stories related to past relationships and observe how open and forthcoming he or she is.
Time is usually the one thing that reveals all and no amount of daily texts can prevent from coming to light what’s meant to be discovered.
The one thing that I would advise you to do is this, do not ignore red flags. Run it by someone who is not invested in the relationship who is honest and unbiased. If they identify red flags, you need to address them and not sweep them under the rug.
With that being said, I hope this article on would a player text you every day to be insightful and helpful. If you have any questions or thoughts on this topic that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.