Breakups are tough. They’re often unexpected when you are the one who has been dumped. That often leaves you with a number of unanswered and bothersome questions like will your ex regret breaking up with you?
Yes and no. The answer varies depending on the circumstances of the breakup and the overall quality of your relationship.
Regret is often preceded by doubt and uncertainty.
For your ex to feel doubt over breaking up with you, he or she must be able to weight the pros and cons. If the pros to the relationship were significant, then there’s a good chance that your ex will regret breaking up with you.
Those pros are often the following:
- You were a good partner.
- You shared a good friendship with your partner.
- There’s still attraction left over.
- You spent a significant amount of time together.
- The relationship was good up until the last phase.
- Your intimate life was good.
There are probably more things to consider depending on the sort of qualities your ex was looking for in a partner.
But, the issue with regret is that it’s a feeling. And like most feelings, they are never fixed.
The intensity and appearance of such a feeling is unpredictable.
Your ex could very well regret breaking up with you but not enough to cause him or her to reach out or want you back.
You may never know.
So if your goal is to make your ex regret breaking up with you enough to cause him or her to come back, be prepared for an unpredictable uphill battle.
Be that as it may, you should do what you can to make him or her regret.
And you’re probably wondering why I’m recommending this. Wouldn’t it be healthier to just move on?
It would be. But life isn’t so clear cut. Just because we ought to do something doesn’t mean we can do it right now.
Perhaps a different path will ultimately lead to the same destination. Even if that path is less than ideal.
Most of the actions required to make your ex regret breaking up with you will improve you as a person. Not only that, but it will also help you move on and develop a better life.
So in the end, you actually can win.
If I can’t stop you from having this motive, I can at least do my best to navigate you towards an end result that benefits your life holistically.
With that being said, let’s dig deeper into this topic on will your ex regret breaking up with you.
How to make your ex regret breaking up with you
First things first, you have to exit the interaction altogether.
When someone breaks up with you, that’s a power move. He or she unilaterally decides to change the status of your relationship.
Is there anything you can do about it? Yes!
But it’s not what you’re thinking.
Lots of people make the mistake of trying to win their ex back using the wrong techniques such as chasing, begging, pleading and using jealously as a weapon.
Not only are these techniques ineffective but they are detrimental to whatever attraction and feelings left between your ex and yourself.
Check out this article on when to stop pursuing her!
There is something you can do that will increase your chances of getting your ex back and/or getting some control back.
1. Do no contact
No contact is the most effective way of making your ex regret breaking up with you.
Because you completely remove your presence from their life.
Rather than have the validation and comfort of your presence or worse, from your begging and pleading, they have nothing but your memory and the relationship.
In which case, all those feelings of uncertainty, doubt, loss, sadness and separation anxiety are going to show up for your ex.
And the only reason they’re going to experience those feelings is that they broke up with you.
In other words, their action created a reaction.
Which often leads to regret. We regret the choices we make. It isn’t the choice but the consequences of the choice that leads us into a state of regret.
You have now added extra consequence to your ex’s decision of breaking up with you by using the no contact rule.
2. Fix your flaws
Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and it’s fair to assume that your ex may have had some valid reasons for breaking up.
This is quite difficult to do but there is much to be gained through self-evaluation.
Can you honestly identify where you may have gone wrong in the relationship?
If so, it can greatly help you make the improvements needed to not just make your ex regret breaking up with you but also come back.
When you remove the actual reasoning for the split, then it’s not uncommon or presumptuous of us to say that you could definitely get your ex back.
Especially if he or she still has genuine feelings for you and the reason for the breakup wasn’t something more complex like different life goals, abuse, other people, or a complete loss of attraction.
So, if there’s fixable flaws, start there.
3. Focus on improving your life
Most people end relationships because they have a perception of their partner. Often, this perception leads them to the belief that they can do better.
Whatever metric they use to judge what constitutes a more suitable partner, it’s something to take not off.
I wouldn’t encourage you to just improve your health, fitness, goals and career just to make your ex regret dumping you.
But, there’s no harm in using it as motivation.
Imagine when your ex reaches out again sometime in the future after no contact and instead of you being in the exact same position you were when they left, you’re better off.
That’s going to surprise him or her.
They’re probably going to wonder why or how you’re thriving without them in your life!
A thought like that is the perfect fuel for the fire of regret.
4. Move on
Yeah, move on with your life. Just because you want him or her to regret breaking up, doesn’t mean you should put your entire life on hold just for that.
This time is precious. Why waste it on someone who has walked away?
You’re about to put so much effort into improving yourself and your life, why not step out of the past and take a chance on meeting someone new?
Imagine who could be out there just waiting to meet you!
Think about it for a second, your ex may have been wonderful but that doesn’t mean he or she is your perfect mate or perfect love story.
Your best love story could be waiting to meet you but instead of channeling your energy towards that, you’re forcefully trying to bring the past back into the present.
Even if you succeed, do you really win?
Because from my own experience as a coach and in my own dating life, when people come back, they don’t actually end up staying. Or worse, you end up not wanting them to stay.
Put yourself out there when the time comes.
Worst case scenario, you meet nobody but your ex gets to feel some regret that you’ve totally moved on.
Best case scenario, you meet someone who is 10 times better than your ex ever was. If you’d like a step by step guide on how to move on after a breakup, please check out this article I wrote.
When will your ex regret breaking up with you?
Usually, after you have initiated no contact and enough time has passed either immediately after the breakup or for a few months after you last spoke.
There are also other factors that may speed up or slow the time in which they feel this way.
If they have recently met someone or are currently dating, it could take a long time before they experience any sort of regret.
Regretting a breakup usually occurs when we feel alone or when we experience some failure at dating new people.
So if your ex is struggling to find someone new or they met someone who let them down, that would speed up and trigger a feeling of regret for leaving you.
They may also feel regret after seeing you improve and move on.
Part of what gives the dumper comfort is knowing that their ex still wanted and desired them.
But if you have picked yourself up and found a way to thrive or meet someone new, that will also make your ex feel some regret.
It all ends well
I genuinely believe this to be true.
Yes, we will all face some tragedy in life and be forced to bid farewell to people we love.
But, that doesn’t mean it’s the end for us.
For as long as we are alive, we have a chance to experience the beauty of life and relationships.
You may want your ex to regret breaking up with you but that doesn’t have to be the end goal.
Think bigger and better than that.
Because if he or she never feels regret over it, you still have your life to live. Why define this next phase on something that may or may not happen.
There’s no guarantee regret will change what has ended.
So with that being said, focus on taking a step forward each and every day.
If you can find some happiness alone, you will unlock a level of life that escapes many unfortunate souls.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.