After losing someone you love to a breakup or misunderstanding, it can create extreme feelings of anxiety and uncertainty about the future. Your feelings for him are encouraging you to hold onto a narrative that he will come back and want a relationship with you. You’ve probably heard about how timing can affect a relationship as well. So, this begs the question, will he come back when the timing is right?
Answering this question would require you to believe in destiny and the idea that people who are meant to be will gravitate back to each other when the time is right. I am of the opinion that timing plays a great role in the facilitation of relationships.
I respect those who are of the opinion that there’s no such thing as the right time.
But, I fear that these people are misinterpreting the right time to be the same as the perfect time.
There is no such thing as the perfect time whereas there can be such a thing as the right time.
The right time does not create an expectation that everything is going well in your life or his life. What it could be interpreted to mean is that he is now willing to make a better effort to nurture a healthy relationship with you despite other circumstances at play.
I can recall a specific period in my life when I encountered some wonderful women but I sabotaged myself and those potential relationships because I tried to move on too quickly after a breakup.
Had I just been more patient with myself, it would have been the right time for me to be dating again and I could have had a lovely relationship with one of them.
I was creating obstacles by forcing the time to be right and this culminated in many failed potential relationships which I ran away from.
When I finally stopped and took the time to work on myself, I met someone and that flourished into a relationship.
Everything wasn’t going perfectly in my life though.
I had decided to completely change my career path and I was dealing with some health ailments that crept up on me.
Additionally, Covid hit and we were all plunged into a lockdown.
All these factors still didn’t prevent the relationship from occurring or escalating because it was the right time mentally and emotionally for me to be with someone.
Be that as it may, there are a few factors that precipitate him coming back when the timing is right and I think we absolutely need to discuss this further.
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He still cares about you
Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter how much he cared about you in the past or how in love he claimed to be when it comes to matters of the present.
Either he still feels that way now or he doesn’t.
If he does, there’s a chance that if you meet each other or connect again somehow, those feelings of attraction and affection may be triggered again.
You both would feel the chemistry and despite a sense of nostalgia, it will feel exciting and new despite shared history.
That’s how you know the timing is right and there’s still a chance for the two of you to explore the possibility of a new relationship with each other.
If the time has passed and things have changed which gives you the idea of reconnecting, it would only work if he actually still has some feelings for you.
It wouldn’t matter how great things are now or how right the time is if he no longer has those feelings of attraction, some affection and interest.
Related post: How do I tell if he loves me? (12 signs)
He hasn’t moved on
The timing wouldn’t matter nor would the erasure of issues that caused your breakup if he has met someone else.
That’s not to imply that his current relationship is a guarantee or that it is destined to last a lifetime.
But, if he has moved on with someone else, you are doing yourself a disservice by focusing on whether he will come back or not.
Your next partner could be out there, just waiting to bump into you but that isn’t going to happen because you’re preventing the time from being right for that to happen by focusing on your ex who moved on.
Spare yourself the regret of losing precious time by waiting for someone who has moved on.
If he really loved you as much as you want or if he could find reconciliation within himself, he wouldn’t be with another person right now.
But, let’s say that he is single right now, there’s nobody piquing his interest and he’s feeling really content or happy with himself.
If there ever would be a right time to reconnect with an ex, this would be it!
Related post: What to do if your ex is dating someone new
He is open, willing and ready
What makes the timing right isn’t the circumstances. It is not about having enough money or no distance between the two of you.
There are people who are struggling through poverty and live apart but they choose to love each other and nurture their relationship.
They remain faithful, committed, loving and loyal.
Not because everything is going well in their life but because they are open, willing and ready to put in the work to have a wholesome and loving relationship.
The time is right for them because they are in the right headspace and emotional space to value and cherish each other.
A partner is someone who works with you to cultivate a relationship and life that will be great, even amidst difficulty and obstacles.
Trust me, you don’t want someone who is just with you because life is great.
True loyalty and love persevere when it is tested and faced with struggle.
If he has reached this point of wanting to nurture a bond with you irrespective of circumstances, then I’m willing to bet that he’ll come back, especially if he still has strong residual feelings for you.
Related post: Giving a man space to pursue you
There are no deal-breakers that stand in the way right now
Up until this point, I’ve been promoting the idea that the right time is directly applicable to a person’s emotional and mental state.
We’ve talked about being open, willing and ready to commit oneself to cultivate a relationship of love and honesty.
But, I would be remiss not to gloss over deal breakers.
There are certain factors that may stand in the way of him coming back despite him ticking off all the boxes discussed above.
Whether it’s compatibility issues, family issues or logistical issues like an inability to leave a country, they’re all valid hindrances to the development of a relationship.
You have to be realistic about these circumstances that create an inevitability for failure.
Unless there’s a strong possibility or even probability of changing these deal breakers, proceeding to rekindle a relationship only for it to end for the exact same reasons it ended before is devastating.
Related post: Should I text him or wait? (answered)
In conclusion
When it comes to answering the question of whether or not he will come back if the timing is right, I think we can say that it absolutely depends on his emotions, maturity level and ability to commit himself to build a new relationship from scratch.
If you try to capture what you once had, you both will lose out on what you could have with each other or with other people.
This is why it’s so important for us to look to the future and appreciate the present instead of yearning for what has passed.
I just want you to be sure of how you plan to spend the next few months or years of your life.
Understandably, your mind and heart are searching for a narrative that permits you to put your life on hold and wait for him to come back.
This is a natural occurrence when you lose someone but this is a time that you cannot get back.
Choose to spend it wisely.
Even if you decide to wait a while to give him a chance to come back, don’t sit around just waiting. Commit yourself to heal from the pain you are experiencing.
Create a thriving life for yourself outside of that relationship. Focus on the people who are still in your life and develop a healthier relationship with yourself.
If he comes back, you’ll be the best version of yourself and this will be one of the signs that the time is right.
If he doesn’t come back, you’ll end up being in the right time and space to meet another guy who is open, ready and willing to explore a romantic relationship with you.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on “will he come back when the timing is right?” to be insightful and a source of comfort. If you have any questions or thoughts on this subject that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.