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5 Reasons Why A Guy Would Be Nervous Around A Girl

why would a guy be nervous around a girl, nervous guy

Have you ever noticed how a guy who appears to be good-looking, smart, funny, and charming suddenly turns into a nervous wreck around certain women? Suddenly, he’s unable to speak without stuttering and can barely hold eye contact. Clearly, he’s nervous, and it doesn’t make sense to you because he has no reason to be! This begs the question: why would a guy be nervous around a girl?

There are five reasons why a guy would be nervous around a girl, and they are as follows:

  1. He finds her physically attractive.
  2. He has romantic feelings for her.
  3. He’s a shy guy.
  4. He’s insecure
  5. He thinks she’s out of his league.

Typically, men are nervous around a girl they find attractive.

Even if he doesn’t have an interest in pursuing her, the physical or intellectual attraction alone can trigger feelings of nervousness and shyness.

For centuries, men have been pegged as slaves to their egos, and with good reason.

A man with a bruised ego may abandon reason and suffer from esteem issues for a long time.

Even though ego exists within men and women, I’ve observed that a woman’s ego can be greatly affected by the actions of other women, whereas a man’s ego can be greatly affected by the actions of women.

In saying that, I am simply trying to illustrate the degree of importance men place on the perception women have of them.

So, I would say that a guy who is nervous around a girl has a desire for acceptance and validation and a fear of rejection and criticism.

It’s only natural for him to perceive the stakes to be high, and this may cause him to overthink.

He wants to be liked, adored, and accepted, and so his mind is running through every possible scenario.

Unfortunately, when fear and anxiety are mixed into the equation, overthinking spills into intrusive thinking.

In other words, thoughts of rejection, embarrassment, pain, shame, and sadness start to take center stage in his mind.

Now, after wanting to be accepted and validated, he starts to think about the horrible things that may happen along with getting rejected.

This triggers a stress response within the body and results in feelings of extreme nervousness.

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That’s just one narrative that I wanted to talk about before getting into the meat and bones of this article on why a guy would be nervous around a girl.

It all boils down to attraction and interest.

With that being said, let’s examine in detail all the reasons why a guy would be nervous around a girl.

Why Would A Guy Be Nervous Around A Girl?

Reason 1: He finds her physically attractive

Most people don’t spend much time thinking about the mechanics of physical attraction, but it’s much more than just a feeling or thought.

When we find someone physically attractive, certain hormones are released in our body, and certain neurons in our brain fire up.

This effect in our body can present itself in different ways.

In this case, feelings of nervousness and excitement take center stage.

It can happen to absolutely any guy, even those with popularity, high social status, or good looks.

And what we know about a lot of men is that they are visual creatures.

They are easily influenced or affected by people they find physically attractive.

This will obviously vary from man to man, but it’s something that comes up time and time again in conversations about what makes men tick in terms of attraction.

Related post: How to meet a girl if you are shy

Reason 2: He has romantic feelings for her

If physical attraction can make a guy nervous around a girl, romantic feelings could quadruple those nerves.

Here’s what I know: if a man is physically attracted to a woman, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he has romantic feelings for her.

But if a man has romantic feelings for a woman, then he most certainly feels some physical attraction for her.

So, it’s only natural that he experiences some nervousness and shyness around a girl because he feels strongly about her.

He’s nervous because, in his heart and mind, this person is now special and important to him. He wants to do things right and express those feelings to her in the best possible way.

Being around someone you care about romantically sparks the desire for acceptance and validation from that person.

Not to mention a desire for those feelings to be reciprocated.

And so he’s nervous because he wants to realize the fantasy in his mind.

Related post: How do I tell if he loves me? (12 undeniable signs)

Reason 3: He’s a shy guy

Given that there are people who are extremely confident, calm, and outgoing, it’s only natural that there would be people who are not.

As a teenager, I was shy!

When I mean shy, I mean really shy.

I would blush around girls and struggle to project confidence because I was overwhelmed with emotions of shyness and nervousness.

I may not have been physically attracted or emotionally interested in a girl but I would still struggle with being nervous.

There was an ongoing chatter in my mind about the way I carried myself and what girls would think about me.

I lacked confidence and assertiveness, and this contributed to how easily I would feel nervous around a girl.

This could explain why a guy would be nervous around a girl he doesn’t even know.

Related post: Why am I shy to talk to a girl?

Reason 4: He’s insecure

Building on the above, there are guys out there, much like girls, who struggle with self-esteem issues.

Throw in imposter syndrome, aanxiety,or a panic disorder, his ability to remain calm, collected and confident around a girl depletes significantly.

There have actually been times in my adult life when I’ve been self conscious about myself.

Whether it was due to some physical issue at the time or a poor self perception caused by mistakes, I was hyper conscious of what people may think or say about me.

I was petrified about being judged and this made me nervous around women.

Thankfully, I put in the work to become the kind of man who I am proud of now and those feelings of nervousness and fear about being judged have more or less diminished.

But, I think back to that time and I can say with certainty that I walked around a nervous wreck.

Not all men are like what you encounter online or see in movies.

There are many of us who have dealt with real esteem issues or mental health issues that triggered a great deal of nerves and fear.

Related post: How to make her like you

Reason 5: He thinks she’s out of his league

When we examine a hierarchy of status, there is an undeniable phenomenon wherein the ones at the top of that food chain hold the most power and esteem resulting from their status.

People have a tendency of creating a mental hierarchy.

They rate the value of a person based on the metrics within their conscious mind. 

Men have a habit of doing this with women. 

And when they meet someone who ranks highly in all metrics within their mind, that woman can be placed at the very top of the hierarchy.

Here’s the thing.

At the top isn’t where these men place themselves.

In other words, they perceive these women to be of more value in comparison to themselves.

They place them on a pedestal and when you’re operating from a place of submission or lower value, appearing weak, afraid and nervous is almost unavoidable.

This could very well be the reason why a guy would be nervous around a girl.

In his mind, she may be on a pedestal and now he’s battling these emotions of weakness.

He’ll seek out her approval because he doesn’t believe that he’s equal to her.

Because there’s no guarantee of approval, the uncertainty stimulates more feelings of nervousness, fear, doubt and anxiety.

If you’d like to learn more about social status, I’d highly recommend reading this article by Helpful Professor.

How To Not Be Shy Around Your Crush

I came across the following Youtube video that perfectly explains coping mechanisms that will help you deal with this issue. I strongly recommend that you watch it and make some notes because it works.

You’ll read many articles on the web explaining the importance of building confidence and improving your social skills.

All of which I agree with.

There is a great deal of importance in being confident around women.

If we summarize it in one sentence, confidence is sexy!

It’s as simple as that.

Women are attracted to men who are confident but you must understand, having the confidence to approach a girl despite feeling nervous is still attractive.

Perhaps you are under the assumption that you must appear like the confident men depicted in movies or on YouTube videos.

But, this is creating undue stress on yourself.

The added pressure of trying to be something you’re not will only make you appear more nervous and less authentic.

This is where the following advice will come into play and I believe it to be the most effective.

Allow yourself to feel nervous and continue interacting with girls.

I’m a huge fan of the book Letting Go by David R. Hawkins and he explains that all those thoughts we have can be dispelled by allowing the feelings attached to those thoughts to run out.

Yes, you can challenge your thoughts but do not expect that to simply erase the feeling of being nervous.

Instead, accept that you feel nervous and continue to move forward as if it’s not anything to be ashamed of.

By doing this, you’ll erase some of the pressure and overthinking that results from resisting your feelings.

Over time, when you experience how things can work out even if you’re nervous, it will help to diminish those feelings around girls.

You’ll gain more confidence in the process and your ability to be around girls without freezing or fleeing will drastically improve.

Another useful tip I have for you is this, focus more on getting to know her.

I notice that the times when I felt overly nervous around a girl, it was usually attributed to my focus and desire of impressing her.

When I shifted my focus primarily on getting to know who she is, that allowed me to ease some of my nerves.

At the same time, girls enjoyed talking to me because I took a genuine interest in who they are.

In doing so, I built some rapport and comfort with them that by the time they started asking me questions about myself, I was in a much more comfortable space to answer more confidently.

Like anything in life, experience and practice improves success.

And with success comes confidence.

The last thing I will say is this, what’s meant for you will never miss you. So, even if you’re nervous or not, if you’re meant to be with someone then it will work out.

Take comfort in that!

In Conclusion

It can be really overwhelming to be around girls when you are plagued with obsessive thinking and intrusive thoughts as well as anxiety and panic but I want you to know that most people go through the same thing.

Some people are just better at concealing their feelings and putting on a front for others.

It’s okay if you can’t.

What’s more important is your ability to authentic and your ability to be courageous enough to talk to girls despite feeling nervous.

I’m willing to bet that a girl would be infinitely more impressed and flattered by a guy who mustered up the courage to be around her despite feeling nervous than a guy who easily chats up girls.

Focus on your breathing, make a conscious decision to get to know her and allow the results to be what they are.

If you can do those three things, I’m willing to bet that you’ll gain some confidence and lose some of those nerves around girls.

With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on the reasons why a guy would be nervous around a girl. If you have any questions or thoughts on the topic, please feel free to let me know by visiting the comment section below.

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