Why Won’t He Text Me? (Answered & Explained)


he won't text me, why he won't talk to you, reasons why he won't text you, he won't text me, reasons why he won't text me

Nothing is as confusing and frustrating in dating as dealing with someone who suddenly won’t text you. It leaves you feeling highly critical of yourself because there’s no explanation for what went wrong. So, in today’s article, I’m going to share every possible reason why he won’t text you. 

The reason why he won’t text you could be due to a lack of interest, a loss of attraction, competition from other girls or a mistake on your end that pushed him away.

You would have to look at the conversations prior to this happening to analyze the way he texted you, how often he texted you and what could have happened in the recent past that could have pushed him away.

There are other signs that may give you a better idea as to why he won’t text you and I’d like to discuss them with you in detail below. 

Related post: Why would a guy reject you if he likes you?

1. He’s busy and unavailable

A high-quality man who has ambition will be juggling a lot of responsibilities because he wants to be successful and put together.

You may not be able to get him on the phone all the time or he may take a few hours to respond during work hours because he’s busy. 

If that’s not the case, then perhaps this is an isolated incident due to an unforeseen problem in his life that requires all his attention.

A few years ago, I was talking to this girl for a few weeks and at the time, I lost a family member. So, for a day or so I was unavailable and didn’t really answer much of her texts. I explained what happened but I was busy.

She called me up and started screaming at me about how selfish I am for not replying to her. 

Needless to say, that didn’t work out. 

This is just an example of how some guys may be unavailable because of an event that has taken up all of their time.

As long as it’s not an ongoing problem that has suddenly started, you should hang back a bit to see if he returns to normal within a few days. 

If he doesn’t and it continues to be a problem, then it’s possible that he won’t text you for other reasons that are problematic for the courtship or potential relationship. 

Related post: 10 Reasons why he doesn’t call you

2. He’s lost interest in you

At the beginning of every new courtship, it’s not uncommon for two people to talk all the time. That level of communication is obviously not sustainable and will slow down with time.

However, even though it slows down, it shouldn’t be a drastic change.

The two of you will most likely transition into a pace that keeps the romance alive and thriving while also juggling your responsibilities. 

If you notice that he won’t text you regardless of how much you try, then it’s possibly a sign he’s losing interest in you.

At first, it may seem like he still chats to you but he won’t text you first. You’ll be the one who is always initiating the conversation.

As he continues to lose interest, you’ll find that he becomes the first one to end the conversation and then the texts become shorter.

Soon after this, without any improvement in the relationship, the texts dry up from his end altogether and you’re left unread. 

You may find that he’s still online, he’s posting on social media and seems to be actively communicating with other people. 

If that is the case, then I’m afraid to tell you that he’s lost interest in you and that’s why he won’t text you.

Related post: 10 Signs he’s losing interest in you

3. He met someone else

Another unfortunate reason why he stopped texting you is that he met someone else.

This is how things go.

When you’re dealing with a man who isn’t willing to exclusively talk to you until there’s some direction in how the courtship is going, it’s likely that he’s talking to other people.

If he ends up meeting someone else who catches his attention and affection more potently than you have, it could be why he stopped talking to you.

He’s all in with that individual and so your texts are going unanswered. 

4. He’s ghosting you

One of the worst things that have come from social media dating and instant messaging is ghosting.

For those of you who don’t know what this term is referring to, it is the act of disappearing from someone’s life by not replying to their texts, not answering their calls and completely shutting off all means of access and communication without any explanation.

In other words, they become like a ghost to you and that is why it is referred to as ghosting because you simply cannot see or contact them anymore. 

For whatever reason, he may have decided to ghost you and so that’s why he won’t text you.

It’s not like he can’t see your texts. He chooses not to reply to them. 

Alternatively, he has blocked you or changed his number for the express purpose of ghosting you altogether. 

It’s a coward’s way out of taking ownership for one’s actions but this is the world we live in now. 

Related post: Why ghosters always come back

5. He’s upset with you

Not everyone is wired to communicate their feelings in a healthy way during arguments, fights or misunderstandings.

He may be upset with you over something you said or did and that is why he won’t text you.

He’s waiting to cool down or he’s just so angry that he doesn’t want to speak to you.

Perhaps reaching out to him persistently and taking ownership for your mistake would break through to him but that depends on the nature of the issue.

What you need to consider is whether the punishment matches the extent of the crime. 

If what has transpired between the two of you is not something that would warrant such a complete elimination of communication, then this might be a red flag. 

6. He forgot to reply

If you’re freaking out about him not texting you today and this is just a singular incident, then it’s very possible that he just forgot.

There have been times when I received a text, opened it to respond and then got pulled away at that moment and lost my train of thought until much later on when I was free again.

Granted, most people are on their phones throughout the day but it’s still a possibility and you should wait an hour or two before reaching out again.

If that double text also goes unread and he doesn’t text you back, just wait. 

Don’t text him again for a few days until he does unless you’re genuinely concerned that something bad has happened to him. 

7. He’s waiting for you to text him first

Another possibility or explanation for why he won’t text you is because he’s trying to play it cool and patient to avoid coming across as needy or desperate.

Let’s be honest, it’s so easy to make the mistake of chasing someone over text.

Instant messaging comes with a significant degree of temptation to contact someone at the first thought of them.

So, for this reason, he won’t text you because he doesn’t want to come across as desperate.

He’s waiting for you to text him and that’s when he’ll start replying to you because it will give him the assurance that you do want to talk. 

8. You’re being too serious and negative

As much as it’s great to rely on someone for support and to share your stress with them, it’s not healthy if that’s the only thing you do.

Love and affection truly thrive and mature with good experiences, conversations and emotions.

In fact, one of the best ways to build attraction and good feelings with someone is to make them laugh.

By doing so, they will start to associate the feeling of happiness with you and this will make you appear to be more attractive and fun to be around.

The exact opposite is true as well.

Being perpetually negative and depressing will make those around you feel the same way.

Granted, you don’t choose to be this way but there should be some degree of effort on your part to try to focus on other things in your life.

When the conversation is light-hearted, engage it for a while.

Don’t just head right back into the negativity because that will turn him off eventually, especially in a new courtship. 

9. You’re chasing him too much 

Just like how you may find guys who chase you non-stop to be off-putting, the same could be said for men.

Men like to feel like getting your attention is a bit of a challenge.

We want to know that the woman we’re investing our time with is a high-quality woman who is confident and has self-respect.

A self-respecting person will not constantly text another person who treats them poorly. And trust me, being ignored by someone is not a respectful act.

So, for you to be texting him even though he treats you poorly shows a lack of self-worth and as such, devalues your worth even more in his eyes. 

For this reason, I implore you not to chase him too much if he isn’t appreciative of your effort or showing a respectful amount of interest in you. 

Related post: 6 Reasons to stop texting first 

10. He doesn’t think you’re interested in him

I know that I just spoke about how texting a guy desperately and chasing him could turn him off but so can playing too hard to get. 

Trust me, even the guy who chases you will eventually give up and get tired of trying to get your attention.

It’s inevitable because most people give up on doing something when it doesn’t yield any results.

Some people may continue for a longer time than others but eventually, a lack of results and reciprocation will turn them away. 

In this case, if you were exhibiting all the signs of someone who isn’t interested in him, it’s possible that he got fed up with chasing you and quit texting you altogether because he feels you’re not interested. 

Related post: What he thinks when you don’t text him back

11. He prefers to communicate in person

Not everyone likes to text and some guys will shy away from texting altogether.

You really have to look at the kind of individual he is and whether he shows an active interest in calling and meeting you.

If he won’t text you but calls you regularly and tries to see you often and the communication in person is good, then there’s nothing to worry about. 

12. He’s playing hard to get

Lastly, I’d just like to share that some guys will pull back their effort to pique your interest.

They want you to chase after them as you would to someone you really want.

And it just so happens, one of the ways to get someone’s attention in this day and age is to not text them as much as you normally would.

It’s not healthy when you’re trying to build a healthy relationship that is founded on great communication but if he is afraid of coming across as desperate and chasing you too much to the point that you lose interest, then this is his way of changing that. 

In conclusion

I know that it can be frustrating and concerning when a guy won’t text you and all you want to do is be with him but I hope that this article provided you with some clarity on the subject.

It’s best to tailor your behavior in accordance with the actual reason why he won’t text you but I want to emphasize the importance of respecting yourself.

Unless you treated him poorly or didn’t give him the time of day which pushed him away, it’s really not a good idea to chase a guy who just doesn’t want you or value you. 

That brings us to the end of this article. Please be sure to head over to the comment section below to share your thoughts or questions with me on this topic.

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