If you told me a few years ago that I would be writing an article about why less is more when texting a girl, I’d have never believed you because I was obsessed with texting. Yet, here we are. I couldn’t be more of an advocate for less texting and here’s why!
Less is more when texting a girl because it makes you appear to be more mysterious, exciting, secure, confident and a challenge. These attributes are ridiculously attractive to girls. Furthermore, you limit the risk of coming across as needy or talking a girl out of liking you by texting less.
If you’re sick and tired of not getting a first date with a girl or getting friendzone each and every time, then this article is definitely for you because I’m willing to bet that the way and amount of texting you engaged in affected your success with these girls.
Honestly, I would go so far as to claim that texting is actually bad for a lot of guys because they aren’t taught proper texting etiquette and texting psychology to be successful at online dating.
With that being said, let’s get into the nitty gritty of this article.
Related post: How often should you talk to your girlfriend?
Reasons Why Less Is More When Texting A Girl
1. Texting less maintains mystery
Most women want to feel like they are part of a romantic story. If you read any romantic novel or watch a chick flick, you’ll notice how the guy is portrayed to be slightly mysterious and this is directly attributed to being sexy.
I read somewhere that it is a fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear at first.
This courtship phase of uncertainty makes her wonder about you and desire to unwrap you like a gift on Christmas.
There’s really no need to rush this phase.
Most guys who are desperately trying to lock down a girl are guilty of spewing their guts onto her.
They text a girl all day long, leaving nothing to be desired.
Please, for the love of God, allow her to discover who you are in real time rather than on text.
The less you text her, the likelier it is that you won’t drop your autobiography on her within the first few days of knowing her.
Related post: How to bring mystery back into a relationship
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2. It keeps things exciting and thrilling
Love and romance are nurtured in person and in absence.
Unless you are willing to text less, you won’t give her nor you the opportunity to fantasize and miss each other.
This is a crucial phase in developing attraction and if you come on too strong by chasing her over text, you’ll ruin it for yourself and probably get friend zoned.
As I’ve said above, let her discover who you are in real time.
Instead of texting her about what you’re going to do on a date with her, just don’t text her about it and wait until the actual date to court her with your plans.
Trust me, I’ve made this mistake in the past.
I was so excited and enthusiastic about my plans that I would discuss them in advance. This kind of ruins the surprise and excitement because she knows what’s going to happen.
It’s like going to the cinema to watch a movie but reading about the spoilers beforehand.
You’re ruining the experience for yourself and for her by doing so.
3. It gives a girl space to miss you
For a girl to miss you, she has to be away from you for some time.
Most guys will reach out to me via email and request help on how to determine whether a girl misses them.
And yet, when I quiz them about their texting habits, I often find that they text her even when she hasn’t replied to their previous texts.
So, the answer is simple, you have to stop texting her before she can actually start to miss you.
The easiest way to tell if a girl is missing you is if she reaches out to you after the two of you haven’t seen or spoken to each other for a little bit.
Once she misses you, it creates the perfect opportunity for you to ask her out.
She’s more likely to say yes if she’s missing you than if she isn’t.
Related post: How to give her space (everything you need to know)
4. You never have to worry about being overly clingy or needy
We know that being clingy or needy is considered unattractive. Women are attracted to men who are available but also confident, goal driven and secure.
Whereas clinginess and neediness are signs of insecurity.
The problem we face is that we seek out certainty during the uncertain phase of courtship.
We start to fear that she may not be missing us or liking us when we haven’t heard from her in a few hours or whatever it may be.
This encourages or influences us to text her more, seeking validation and affirmation to quiet our insecure and fearful thoughts.
Women are incredibly perceptive about this thing and they can sniff insecurity from a mile away.
All of this can be avoided by simply texting her less.
Approach any text conversation like a game of tennis.
Wait for her to hit the ball back to you before taking a shot.
It’s as simple as that.
At times you can reach out before she does but more often than not, just wait for her to reply or text you first.
5. You won’t talk her out of liking you
The biggest problem with texts is that they are easily misconstrued and misinterpreted. Words on a screen do not translate well when you are trying to be funny in a specific way or you’re trying to use innuendos on her to be flirtatious.
You could literally ruin things between you and her with texts that are not even an accurate representation of who you really are.
Additionally, your choice in topics could leave much to be desired.
Texting negatively about your ex or past relationships will do you no good with a girl.
Even if you try to paint a positive picture, you don’t have full control or sight over how she perceives or interprets these texts.
It’s much safer to have certain conversations in person.
6. She’ll view you as more of a catch or challenge
Basic psychology dictates that perceived value is influenced by the rarity, scarcity or availability and effort required to attain something.
There’s a reason why high end car brands like Ferrari or Porsche don’t spend much on basic advertisement.
They’re premium brands that do not need to push their products. They let people come to them. In fact, some of these brands have a qualifying requirement before you’re even allowed to purchase their vehicles.
Think about that.
That sounds so tedious and yet, they continue to be successful and profitable.
People gravitate towards things that have a high value.
It makes them feel like they are worth more simply by pursuing that which is considered high value.
If you aren’t texting her all the time and busy living a fulfilling life, she’ll easily view you as more valuable than the guys who just offer all their time and affection to her on a silver platter.
Doing nothing to earn their time and affection will make what they offer seem less valuable.
This is what will separate you from the guys who are constantly chasing her with texts all the time.
This doesn’t mean that you ought to be a cold fish or boring on text when she reaches out to you.
It simply means that you don’t need to sit on the phone all day texting her to maintain interest or value.
You’re a man of value and so she should make some effort to get your attention and vice versa.
7. You’ll have more to talk about during dates
You could spend all day texting a girl and doing your best to build interest but all of that will be pointless if you have lame dates with her.
Nothing builds rapport and closeness like fulfilling and exciting conversations with someone.
Through communication, we connect with each other.
Sure, shared experiences matter as well but part of sharing requires some form of communication.
You would have better success with a girl after a fun and exciting date with great conversations even if you didn’t text well.
The opposite of that cannot be said.
Save your best conversations for dates and that can only happen if you text less.
How Often Should You Text A Girl?
Ideally, she should be initiating at least 60 – 70% of all text conversations with you during the courtship phase.
When she does, you can exchange a couple of texts that are fun, flirty, affectionate or exciting with her.
But, after a handful of these texts, it’s best to end the text conversation on a high note so that she looks forward to the next time the two of you speak.
If you’re courting a girl properly, this won’t be an issue because you’ll probably be meeting her at least once a week at first.
As time goes on and things develop, you’ll end up seeing her more frequently.
So, it’s unnecessary to make the argument that you need to be texting her all the time because you’d be spending quality time with her in person.
At times, you can initiate contact with her to let her know that you miss her or are thinking about her.
Those short and sweet texts that are random can have a positive effect on a girl’s interest level as long as you are not spamming her with these texts every day.
I’m not opposed to texting a girl at least once a day at minimum.
To be honest, if you’re focusing on pursuing your purpose in life while trying to improve as a man, you shouldn’t have time to be sitting on the phone texting a girl all day.
The only time you would be texting all day is if you’re not doing what you need to do as a man.
That’s a bigger problem and you need to address it as soon as possible because it’s not a woman’s job to be your sole source of happiness or fulfilment.
Related post: What to do when a woman goes silent on you
Should You Double Text A Girl?
Depending on your reason, sure.
If there’s an emergency or you’re worried about her, I don’t see any problem with double texting her.
But, if you’re double texting her often just to seek validation and assurance that she likes you, then that’s a problem.
You’re going to come across as needy and clingy or worse, desperate!
There’s an art to double texting and I feel like you should read the article that I’m going to link below.
It will give you a good idea on how to double text a girl without ruining attraction or coming across as needy or clingy.
Related post: What to do when your partner ignores you
Final Thoughts
Look, this article is really only applicable to men who seem to struggle at getting a first date or beyond the first date.
You’re probably messing up with the way you’re texting her and how often you’re texting her.
This is why I encourage you to find a healthy balance.
Observe her behavior and reactions to your texting and this will help you to master the art of building attraction or maintaining interest over text.
Each girl is different and you have to be open and willing to adjust your approach depending on how she responds and reacts to you on text.
As Bruce Lee popularly said, “Be water, my friend.”
Go with the flow and figure things out on a case by case basis.
That brings us to the end of this article on why less is more when texting a girl. I hope you had fun reading it and picked up some useful tips that will help you adjust the way you text. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me, you can do that by leaving a comment below.