Why Isn’t He Texting Me? 5 Reasons Why


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It’s so upsetting when someone you’re texting suddenly stops and disappears. It happens so often nowadays to women and I can understand your plight. Not having any answers can be anxiety-inducing. So, in today’s article, I’m going to share some information or answers to the following question, why isn’t he texting me? 

There are a number of reasons why he isn’t texting you and they are as follows: 

  1. He’s extremely busy right now.
  2. He’s losing interest in you.
  3. He’s texting other people.
  4. He’s ghosting you. 
  5. He’s upset with you.

Understandably, it can be quite confusing and stressful for you to deal with a guy who showed so much interest at first until he suddenly stopped texting you. 

I’m sure you’re running through every scenario in your head and it isn’t helping you.

What I’ve come to realize about us human beings is that we hate uncertainty.

When we don’t have an answer to something, the anxiety of not knowing drives us crazy and we run through every single scenario without finding the comfort we desire. 

I’m willing to bet that all this uncertainty and overthinking has placed you in a desperate state to find the real answer for why he isn’t texting you.

And so, you probably want to keep texting him or escalating your contact until you get his attention.

Even if you sent a few texts already, I’m sure that you keep finding ways to convince yourself that it’s okay to text him again.

If I’m right, then I need you to stop right now. 

By texting him again and again without getting a reply from him, you’re making yourself appear to be desperate. 

This isn’t attractive at all and it’s also devaluing your worth as a woman.

Why should you be chasing after a man in this manner when you could be spending your time on someone who genuinely wants to be with you?

I understand that you care about him and walking away right now isn’t something you want to just do.

That’s fine and I respect that.

But, you shouldn’t undermine your worth and reward his behavior with more texts. 

After you’ve sent a text or two, just back off and wait for him to reply.

Don’t give him any more attention and effort until he makes some time to read your texts and reply. 

With that being said, let’s dig into all the reasons why he isn’t texting you and discuss them in detail.

Related post: Do men always come back? 

1. He’s extremely busy right now

Before we jump to any conclusions, it would be shortsighted of us not to entertain the idea that he isn’t texting you because he’s extremely caught up with a work or personal problem. 

The only time this is applicable is if he hasn’t been texting you since a day or two ago. 

There’s no way in hell that he has been too busy to text you for weeks. That’s absolute nonsense. 

And, if that were truly the case, he should take a minute out of his day to let you know for how long he’ll be unavailable, why he won’t text you during this time and when he should be back. 

Then, it’s your job to decide whether you believe him and if you’re prepared to wait for weeks on end for him to resume regular contact with you. 

But, if he has only stopped texting you this week and he hasn’t been online during this time, he has no reasons to be upset with you and he wasn’t showing signs of being deceitful prior to this issue, then it’s possible that he’s busy.

Related post: 10 Reasons why he doesn’t call you 

2. He’s losing interest in you

I hate to say it but a common sign of a man losing interest in you is a lack of texts and replies. 

As you know, most men pursue intensely at first.

If their interest is validated, that pursuit continues.

However, if for whatever reason he starts to lose interest, then his effort wanes as well. 

You’ll notice that he doesn’t initiate contact as much as he used to. Furthermore, his replies shorten and he takes longer to reply between texts.

Eventually, he stops texting you for days at a time, returns with poor excuses for why he isn’t texting you and then continues to show little interest. 

Alternatively, he transitions into a friendship/flirtationship that never really progresses into something serious. 

Related post: 10 Signs he’s losing interest in you

3. He’s texting other people

When I was younger, I didn’t really entertain the idea that while texting someone in courtship, they’re also texting other people.

I won’t debate whether this is right or wrong because there’s no hard rule for what’s allowed or not allowed in this situation.

This is something you would have to discuss with each other early on but it’s something that does occur.

It’s highly possible that he was texting other people as well and one of those people has captured his attention more so than anyone else.

For this reason, he stops texting you and focuses on this other girl who he likes more at this time. 

I’m pretty sure that if she messes up somehow or he gets rejected, then you’ll notice he pops back into your life with renewed vigor. 

Alternatively, he’s just playing the field and once he senses that you’re getting too invested or serious about him, he’s backing off now and texting other people. 

Needless to say, it’s a lose-lose situation. 

Related post: Should I text him or wait?

4. He’s ghosting you

Of all the reasons why he isn’t texting you, this one sucks the most and I hate it.

Ghosting is a new phenomenon that impacts most of us who entertain the idea of online dating. 

Things could seemingly be fine and suddenly, he stops texting you and is nowhere to be seen.

You might find that he’s blocked you across all social networking apps and doesn’t take your calls or messages.

There are not many warning signs for this and very rarely do you ever get an explanation from these people. 

What I do know is that ghosters do come back but just because they do doesn’t mean that you’ll get the truth from them or that they can be trusted to stick around. 

Related post: How to respond to ghosting

5. He’s upset with you

You would think that as an adult, most of us would be equipped with problem-solving skills and communication skills that enable us to communicate our feelings effectively and healthily. 

But, that’s not the case! 

It actually shocks me to meet so many people who just lack the ability to communicate their feelings properly.

They’re either too upset to speak, too afraid of looking weak to open up or just wired to deal with conflict in an unhealthy way. 

I’ve seen some really great guys and girls resort to this behavior because this is what they grew up witnessing in their own homes because their parents didn’t take the time to work on this problem.

These people end up becoming a product of their parent’s best and worst qualities. 

In this case, it’s very possible that he isn’t texting you because he’s upset with you. It’s as simple as that.

You’ve done something to upset him and now he’s distanced himself. 

Whether he’s right for being upset with you will depend on the circumstances of the situation. I can’t answer that, only you can because you know what was discussed or what happened before he stopped texting you. 

By either asking him directly whether he’s upset with you or apologizing for upsetting him, it would usually bring about a response from him.

Here’s what you need to do.

Ask him whether he’s upset with you or send him a heartfelt apology if you already know why he’s upset and it’s warranted but end the text by saying that you understand that he needs space and you hope to hear from him soon. 

Thereafter, just wait. 

He may not respond to you immediately but don’t reach out again.

If he was just ignoring you because he was upset, then this action should be enough to bring him back. 

He’ll start to miss you and that’s when he’ll reach out.

If he doesn’t contact you within a few days at most, then it’s not this and there’s something else going on that we’ve already discussed above. 

Related post: Why is my crush ignoring me?

In conclusion

Trust me when I tell you that I completely understand how upsetting it is to suddenly not hear from someone you care about and want to be with.

But, what I do know is that if he’s a good guy and the two of you are meant for each other, he’ll absolutely be back and this behavior will be explained away.

If he doesn’t come back or if the reason why he isn’t texting you is something more sinister like he ghosted you or wanted someone else, then I pray to God that you are given the strength to walk away from someone like this because he doesn’t deserve you. 

Judge every situation of this nature on its own merit.

Don’t project and don’t be influenced by other people. 

Focus on what you know, what you feel is right and what makes you happy. 

With that being said, I hope you found this article on why isn’t he texting me to be helpful. If you would like to share your thoughts or questions, please feel free to do so by visiting the comment section below.

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