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Why Is My Ex Texting Me After Dumping Me? (Solved)

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When you get dumped, one of the greatest fears you have is that this will be the very last time you ever speak to or hear from your ex. It feels like your relationship died and your ex wants absolutely nothing to do with you. This is why it’s so surprising when your ex reaches out, which they usually do. This begs the question, why is my ex texting me after dumping me?

Typically, your ex will text you after dumping you when they feel guilty about it, when they miss you, when they feel lonely, when they want to feel comforted by knowing that you miss them or when they have doubts about dumping you. 

There may be instances when your ex will text you to arrange collecting valuables or for arranging a schedule if you have children together. 

That’s pretty self-explanatory and there shouldn’t be any confusion about that.

This article is going to focus on the reasons why they text you that relate to their state of mind and their feelings.

I’m hoping to shed some light on what the dumper feels and why they will contact you even months after the breakup so that you can decide on whether or not it’s worth replying to their texts. 

With that being said, let’s discuss in detail each of the reasons why your ex is texting you after dumping you.

Related post: Should you be friends with someone who dumped you?

1. Your ex feels guilty

Ending a relationship and dumping your partner isn’t an easy or thoughtless decision.

It’s something that results in a host of emotions. 

We’ve all ended relationships at some point or another and I’m sure you’re familiar with a time after dumping your ex when you felt guilty and remorseful.

You hated the idea of hurting your ex and leaving them despite needing to walk away. 

You are aware of all the promises that were made and now broken because you exited the relationship of your own accord.

This has become known as dumper’s remorse. 

Your ex may be experiencing genuine guilt and sorrow for the pain that has been caused to you by their decision to dump you.

If you would like a step-by-step explanation on how to get an ex back or to re-attract someone who lost interest, grab a copy of my ebook called Reconcile. I put this guide together for serious students of the game who want to cut through the fluff and get results in their love life. Click Here To Check It Out! 

And so, they’re texting you because there’s a desire to be supportive in some way and to check up on you as a means of making some amends and to even alleviate some of the guilt being experienced.

Related post: Why is my ex checking up on me?

2. Your ex misses you

There are so many reasons why an ex may dump you or end a relationship but there isn’t any that doesn’t amount to them not missing you.

At least, none that I can think of.

I was reading a book called How to win friends and influence people and the author, Dale Carnegie, explained how most people rationalize what they do, even if they have done something really bad.

In the narrative that floats within their mind, they have a justification for what they did and a perception of who they think they are.

So, even though it may look to you like your ex doesn’t care at all because they dumped you, they could actually feel like they’ve done something incredibly difficult because they care about you. 

Think about this, you’re a person of substance and value, right?

If you truly believed this about yourself, then wouldn’t it make sense that even if your ex dumped you, the void left behind which is shaped as you would cause your ex to miss you?

I think it does and most people who have ended a relationship know this to be true.

You’d be surprised how many dumpers end up missing their ex because they realize the value of what they left behind only after walking away.

Your ex will obviously have memories and residual feelings for you even after dumping you.

They are not immune to nostalgia and sentimentality or reminders of you.

So, it’s only natural for your ex to miss you enough to text you even after dumping you. 

Related post: How to make her miss you

3. Your ex feels lonely

Most people undermine the importance and effect of having a loving and loyal partner by their side.

They get so blinded by the 20% that may not be perfect that they discard or ignore the 80% that is perfect. 

Once they leave the relationship, they find themselves back at square one as a single person.

Now, all this time that was spent with you and on you is suddenly available. Your actions, words and affection are no longer available to your ex which would now force them to consider the real value of what you had to offer.

All that free and empty time can be shocking and jarring to someone who has been in a relationship for a significant period of time.

Your ex is going to realize quickly how dating and socializing with other people cannot fill up their time adequately to ignore the void created by ending the relationship.

It’s during those quiet moments at night or in the morning when your ex will be greeted by pure silence. 

That’s when your ex will feel lonely and realize how meaningful your presence may have been.

This is one of the reasons why your ex is texting you after dumping you. 

Related post: My ex texted me after a week of no contact

4. Your ex wants the comfort of knowing you miss them

People with a big ego or massive insecurities rely heavily on validation from others to feel good about themselves.

Make no mistake, they’ll hide this incredibly well and do their best to project this cold and unbothered image.

But, behind the walls is a host of feelings that you would be surprised to learn of.

What happens is that when you start moving on and leaving your ex alone, he or she starts to wonder why you’re suddenly so quiet.

In their mind, they assumed that you’d always be in love with them and want to have them in your life.

The fact that you’re not chasing after them or begging them to be with you is affecting their ego and insecurities. 

So, your ex will text you after dumping you to gauge your reaction.

They’ll breadcrumb you without having any intention of taking you back.

The goal isn’t to reconcile and reconnect, it’s to determine whether you still care about them. 

Once they feel like you do, they’ll feel good about themselves and comforted in knowing that you’re in the background like a second option just waiting for them.

Related post: She wants to be friends after dumping me

5. Your ex is having doubts about dumping you

Far too many people get carried away by the grass is greener syndrome while in a relationship.

I mentioned this above but these people tend to focus on the 10 or 20% of what they aren’t getting from the relationship or from you while ignoring the 80 or 90% of what they do have.

So, when they make the decision to leave the relationship and dump you, that’s when they realize the true value of what you had to offer because now they have nothing or 0%.

Too many people have to lose what they have in order to see its true value.

One of the reasons why people cheat in relationships can be attributed to this very problem. 

They’re getting 80% of the needs satisfied by their partner but seek out the remaining 20% from someone else instead of working on their relationship or on themselves. 

But, let’s say it’s none of these reasons, that doesn’t mean your ex will not have doubts about dumping you.

Making a huge decision of this nature does not come without some degree of suffering and pain. 

The dumper has to go through a lot of the same emotions as you are, even if it’s delayed by the dumper’s high of ending the relationship.

Uncertainty can lead to extreme doubt and it may prompt your ex to text you after dumping you. 

Related post: 18 Signs your ex regrets dumping you

In conclusion

Getting a text from your ex who dumped you can stir up all sorts of emotions.

From excitement to anxiety to sadness to love to anger.

It’s natural to feel these emotions because you’re in the thick of them.

Even if they’re texting you after many months or years, it’s obviously something that triggered an emotional reaction in you or created curiosity for you to be reading this article. 

What I want you to know is this, it doesn’t really matter that they texted you. 

What matters is how you want to deal with it.

Unless your ex is texting you to talk about getting back together and it’s something that you want, then you should avoid playing games and have an open conversation with them.

But, if you are desperately trying to move on and you have made so much progress in doing so, it might be a good idea to take some time to think about what’s best for you before replying to his or her text.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on “why is my ex texting me after dumping me” to be helpful and well explained. If you have any questions or thoughts on this topic, please share them with me by leaving a comment down below.

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