Why Is My Ex So Mean And Rude To Me? (Solved And Explained!)


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Isn’t it weird how someone who once loved and adored you could be so cold towards you now? It often leaves you feeling confused and hurt when you experience something like this. I wouldn’t blame you for asking yourself the following questions, why is my ex so mean and rude to me?

More often than not, the reason why your ex is so mean and rude to you is that they’re upset with you. This could be your fault or it could be due to something outside of your control like resentment or your ex being toxic. It truly depends on the circumstances of the breakup and what occurred between the two of you thereafter.

Be that as it may, in this article, I’m going to share all the common and not so common reasons why your ex is being mean and rude to you.

Related post: Should I reach out to an ex who dumped me?

1. Your ex hates you

Hate and anger can turn even the sweetest ex into the meanest you’ve encountered. They’re not trying to be mean, they just can’t control how they feel.

This is definitely going to be the case when you’ve done something to truly anger your ex. 

Usually, you can determine how an ex feels about you before even texting or being around them based on the circumstances of the breakup.

If the split was ugly and caused by something bad like deception, manipulation, abuse or infidelity, there’s bound to be hard feelings. 

It may be temporary but for as long as your ex feels a strong dislike or hate for you, they’re not going to be sweet or even polite.

2. Your ex is hurt

Anger can be one of the causes for why your ex is mean and rude to you but so can being in pain. 

People who are hurt by loved ones tend to lash out at them.

It’s not because they hate you or want to hurt you, they just can’t process those feelings and it’s being expressed in a harsh way. 

Whether your ex is the dumper or dumpee, breakups are difficult for both parties involved and your ex is probably hurt from it and the events that led up to the split. 

3. Your ex is resentful of you

Not all of your exes are going to be happy to see you thriving and prospering. If anything, it probably upsets them and that’s why they come across as mean and rude to you.

Think about it, who wants to feel as if their ex is better off now after the split than during the time of the relationship?

If your ex hasn’t really moved on or progressed much since the breakup, it’s not unreasonable to assume that this causes some feelings of resentment to form which manifest in them being mean and rude to you. 

4. Your ex is showing their true colors

They say that it takes up to 90 days to see someone for who they truly are, especially if they put a veil up over their true selves. 

However, you also get to see someone’s true behavior and character after a breakup.

Granted, it’s not easy and people tend to make mistakes but if your ex has no reason to treat you poorly, then that’s something to be said about them as a person.

Being excessively rude and mean to an ex who isn’t doing anything other than checking up on you casts a lot of doubt on someone’s character.

Related post: How to stop thinking about an ex

5. Your ex still cares about you

Splitting from someone doesn’t automatically mean that you forget about them or that you stop caring all of a sudden.

It takes a lot of time and patience as well as experiences until you’ve left those feelings in the past.

An ex who still cares about you and is still in the process of trying to accept the breakup will often be angry at you for putting them in this situation.

It’s a natural reaction to a significant change, especially if you were the one who dumped them.

The fact that they care about you upsets them and so their reaction is to last out or be mean to you. 

6. Your ex doesn’t care about you

This is pretty ironic given the fact that I just suggested that the reason why your ex is mean and rude to you is that they care about you.

But, on the flip side, it’s completely fair to entertain the possibility that your ex no longer has any feelings for you and as such, feels no obligation to treat you in a sweet or caring manner.

In fact, it’s highly possible that they’re not even trying to be mean and rude to you.

They could be treating you the way they would treat someone they used to know from the past who they moved on from and so you’re interpreting their behavior to be mean and rude whereas they’re just indifferent. 

Related post: 15 Signs your ex doesn’t care about you anymore

7. Your ex wants to get a rise out of you

If you’ve been coming across as fairly indifferent after the breakup and seemingly happy, your ex may be feeling annoyed or triggered by it.

To test you, it’s highly possible that your ex will be mean and rude to you as a means of determining whether you still care about them enough to actually get upset or hurt. 

This is kind of immature but it’s something that definitely happens.

8. Your ex is trying to get rid of you

I hate to break it to you but the reason why your ex is being mean and rude to you is that they want you to leave them alone.

Perhaps you’ve been chasing and begging them to take you back and it has reached a point where things have taken a toxic twist.

Your ex may feel like you’re not listening to reason nor are you respecting the new boundaries and so they’re being mean and rude to get rid of you. 

Be honest with yourself and acknowledge reality.

If you have been trying to get your ex back and this has happened after all your declarations of love, it might be time to hang it up and leave your ex alone. 

Related post: Is my ex over me? Answered and explained

In conclusion

I know that it sucks to be treated so poorly by someone you once shared a relationship with but such is life. We can’t control the way others treat us. What we can control is how we behave and the kind of behavior that we are willing to tolerate.

If your ex is being disrespectful and mean unnecessarily, then you don’t have to put up with that treatment.

If they’re justified for being upset and mean to you, then what you can do is try to make amends but then let them be.

You can’t force someone to forgive you.

Unfortunately, most of the relationships in your life will come to an end and not all of them will end on good terms.

You have to be willing to accept the situation and allow your ex to have the space they need. In time, they may forgive you or get over their feelings that influences them to be mean and rude to you.

But, for now, it might be a good idea to just let things be.

You could address it head on but chances are, you won’t like what you hear. So, either way, be prepared for things to be awkward and weird for a while.

In time, things may change, especially if the remedy for their anger or hurt is time and effort on your end.

With that being said, I hope this article on why is my ex being so rude and mean to me was insightful and a source of solace. If you’d like email coaching, please feel free to check out my services page for more information.

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