Why Is My Best Friend Ignoring Me?


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So, you haven’t heard from your best friend in some time and you’ve tried reaching out. Unfortunately, all of your attempts to communicate fall on deaf ears. This leaves you confused and upset trying to understand why is my best friend ignoring me?

Your best friend is ignoring you for reasons that are either out of your control or caused by a problem within the friendship. However, it’s usually a sign of concern that needs to be addressed by helping your friend through a difficult time or fixing a problem in the friendship. 

There have been times in my life when my best friends would ignore me or I’d ignore them.

Granted, it’s not a healthy habit by any stretch of the imagination. But, such is life.

We all engage in actions that have the potential to be destructive in some way or another.

We can only learn from them and become better individuals who don’t make the same mistakes over and over again without addressing the problem. 

I can recall a few incidents when my best friends at different times ignored me and there was always something going on.

They were either upset at me for something that happened between us or they were consumed by a personal problem that rendered them unable to resume their normal life.

Even if they wanted to communicate with me, they were dealing with issues that were all-consuming and difficult to navigate.

The latter situation does not spell doom for a friendship, it just requires a great deal of patience and support for your friend until they are able to reach out and be normal again. 

Such is the case when someone deals with issues like losing a loved one and so forth.

The former reason is more problematic because it is indicative of a relational problem. 

There has been a breach of trust, a breakdown of communication or a misunderstanding that has caused this issue.

There could be a number of reasons why which we will discuss below but they all have one thing in common, a need for reconciliation. 

Depending on what has caused an issue in the friendship, the path forward will be determined by it. 

Sometimes, a simple sorry may suffice and other times, a long and ongoing effort may be required to rebuild the friendship.

With that being said, let’s talk about all the reasons why your best friend is ignoring you. 

Related post: If you love someone, should you let them go?

1. Your best friend has met someone

Falling in love is an amazing experience and can often be quite intoxicating. 

Unfortunately, a best friend who is prone to be consumed by new love will tend to neglect their friends. 

It’s not intentional.

They are just so enthralled and consumed by love that they can’t bring themselves to even look away from their new partner.

Eventually, your best friend will move beyond the early honeymoon phase and start to miss you. When they do, you can rest assured knowing that you’ll hear from them.

I hate to say it but I’ve been guilty of this as well.

I may not intentionally ignore my best friend but I’ll forget to reply and this will go on until I realize how rude I’ve been.

2. They’re immature and petty

A best friend who lacks the mental and emotional maturity to deal with misunderstandings or issues like an adult will often resort to childish antics to prove a point.

In this case, ignoring you as a means of punishing you or avoiding a healthy conversation is something they may do.

I have experienced something like this with a friend who simply refused to deal with a situation maturely and chose to react immaturely by ignoring my attempts to work things out.

We eventually made up but it was after I gave up trying to communicate. How ironic is that!

Related post: How to get rid of a toxic best friend

3. They are waiting for you to make an effort

When someone feels unappreciated and undervalued, they often start to give up on a relationship or friendship.

This is especially the case when they have made multiple attempts of sharing their feelings but to no avail.

All relationships and friendships are nurtured by mutual effort.

If one person is doing the majority of the work to keep things alive, it creates an unequal distribution of effort that can cause resentment and disappointment.

Your best friend could be feeling hurt that you don’t make an effort and by ignoring you, they hope that you’ll realize their worth and be more appreciative of their presence in your life. 

4. They are trying to avoid you

Not all friendships are meant to last forever. Someone who may be your best friend right now could sadly become a stranger to you one day. 

It’s difficult to pinpoint the exact reason why your best friend is ignoring you as a means of avoiding you.

Trying to establish some form of an open dialogue would be the only way to figure out their reason for avoiding you.

However, just because they’re avoiding you right now, doesn’t mean that they plan on doing so forever.

Perhaps, they’re embarrassed about something and just need some time to compose themselves before replying to you. 

This is obviously depending on the circumstances of the case and the duration in which you haven’t heard from your best friend.

If it’s only been a few days, there’s a good chance that they’ll be back especially if there wasn’t any huge problem or issue prior to them ignoring you. 

5. Your best friend is dealing with a severe loss

Death and breakups can take a huge toll on someone’s psyche and ability to function for some time.

During this kind of difficulty, it’s difficult to accurately predict how someone may react. 

Your friend may need some time and space to process the loss they have just suffered.

It doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you or want to end the friendship.

They’re just consumed by grief right now.

All you can really do is offer your support, be compassionate and patient until your friend is ready to reach out and talk.

6. You’re no longer their best friend

This one stings because it’s so unexpected. I’ve been in this situation before and it sucks. But, you can’t force someone to connect with you and stay best friends if they’re not feeling it. 

Life keeps moving forward and your best friend has met someone who they feel a stronger need to be around right now. 

It hurts but I wouldn’t encourage you to get into a contest with this other person or to chase after your best friend.

It only devalues your worth.

Give them the freedom to choose you.

If they do, it will be one of the best feelings in the world.

If they don’t, it will suck but you’ll open up room in your life for someone else who would jump at the chance to be your best friend. 

7. They’re poor at texting

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m terrible at texting and often find myself in some trouble with my best friends.

It’s not that I am actively or intentionally ignoring them. I absolutely love speaking to my best friends but I prefer in-person contact rather than texting.

This can be hard to explain to people since we live in a world that is driven by instant messaging and technology.

But, it’s just how I feel.

Granted, I could make more of an effort since these are people who make the time to contact me. And, that’s exactly what I do.

But, I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t had issues with my best friends over poor texting.

Consider this a possibility for why your best friend is ignoring you.

They’re probably fed up with reaching out to you when they know that you won’t reply.

Oppositely, you may be dealing with someone who doesn’t text well and is unintentionally coming across as rude. 

Before you end up reacting, give them a call or try to meet them in person.

If everything is okay in person, then you can probably rest easy knowing that there isn’t a bigger issue at play. 

8. They’re too busy

Life is unpredictable and at a moment’s notice, everything can change for someone.

As we get older, time becomes our greatest commodity because of how little we have of it. 

Your best friend could be going through an extremely busy period of their life and maintaining their social life has taken a back seat.

I’ve seen this occur with friends who are committed to their careers or accomplishing a lifelong dream.

It may not be the best reason for why they’re ignoring you but at least they’re pursuing their goals and trying to progress in life.

9. They’re jealous of you

Jealousy and envy are nasty feelings to deal with because they have the ability to change our opinion of someone we may even care about.

It paints a picture of unfairness that isn’t accurate.

A good friendship is built on a mutual desire to help each other and be happy for each other. 

When that becomes clouded with feelings of jealousy and envy, I wouldn’t be surprised if your best friend ignores you and tries to put some distance between the two of you.

This is not something to feel bad about.

You can’t put your life on hold or prevent yourself from improving just because it makes others jealous.

This is something your friend needs to work through. 

All you can do is avoid any inconsiderate behavior that makes your best friend feel judged or inadequate. 

Related post: Is my friend using me for money?

10. They need a break

Because socializing has become an instantly available and constant feature of our lives with social networking apps, it influences and affects us on many levels.

When you’re constantly exposed to people’s opinions and thoughts, it can weigh you down.

Personally, I try to avoid social networking sites now because I want to focus all of my time and energy on real life and my small circle of friends and family.

The online world can be brutal and a bad influence without boundaries.

Your friend could be feeling this way and wants to take a break from their phone or from social media.

It may not be personal at all and you’re possibly not the only person being ignored. 

When your friend has recharged and is feeling better, they’ll probably be back. 

In conclusion

Depending on the reason why your best friend is ignoring you, the way you handle the situation will require much sensitivity and patience. 

If it’s because they’re busy or dealing with a loss, give them space and the support they need.

Even if that means taking a back seat and waiting for them to reach out when they’re ready. 

If, however, the reason why your best friend is ignoring you is due to a problem or issue within the friendship, you may need to try and establish communication that is intended to resolve the issue because any confrontational behavior will create further issues. 

Don’t chase after them if all your texts and calls go unanswered or you receive rude and arrogant replies.

It’s a tough situation to deal with but don’t put up with blatantly disrespectful behavior. 

With that being said, I hope this article on, why is my best friend ignoring me, offered you valuable insight that will help you save the friendship or move on from it. Feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below and I’ll reply to you.

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