Why Is It So Hard To Get A Girlfriend? (Surprising Reasons)

In this article, I’m going to explain why it is so hard to get a girlfriend.

It’s hard to get a girlfriend because some men are desperate. In being desperate, they lack the ability to remain confident, detached and charming when talking to women. This comes across as unattractive. Furthermore, they are saying and doing things to attract the wrong types of women whilst scaring off those who would make good girlfriends.

When you are focused on getting a girlfriend, it’s incredibly difficult to remain calm, confident, detached and easygoing. 

You’re probably overwhelmed with thoughts on how to impress girls or earn their validation so that they would agree to be with you.

On dates, you aren’t vetting girls appropriately nor are you revealing your true self because you’re focused on impressing her instead of determining whether she’s right for you and/or if there’s a genuine connection.

How are you going to exercise true authenticity when you are focused more on getting a girlfriend?

The mindset of needing a girlfriend is what results in unnecessary rejection and heartbreak. 

It’s possible that you’re entertaining the wrong kind of woman because you aren’t truly ready for a relationship despite wanting one right now.

Related post: What to do when you love someone you can’t have

Why You’re Not Ready For A Relationship

In my experience, the people who should be in relationships are those who are happy enough to be single. 

To reach the point of being happy enough as a single man, you would have had to make significant progress in your life as a person. 

You would be in better shape and health, you’d be working, you’d be content and confident in your own skin, emotionally free and open to receiving and giving love as well as exploring your interests and passions.

It’s at that point, that your glass will be filled with enough to pour into a relationship. 

The men who are devoid of meaning and substance in their life are the ones who need a girlfriend to feel any degree of happiness.

They are the men who end up selecting the wrong women, get rejected all the time and find themselves perpetually friend-zoned.

As much as we can argue that life is about relationships and being connected with each other, there is so much more to the essence of life. 

You’re on this planet to contribute and to fulfill your purpose in life.

Most men who are obsessed with finding love tend to feel lost, empty and distraught throughout life.

When they get someone, it never truly feels like a fair distribution of love and they end up feeling all used up.

It’s imperative that you take a good and long look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whether you would be romantically involved with yourself if you were someone else.

This is not an activity focused on superficiality.

I want you to examine yourself completely by identifying your strengths and weaknesses, talents and quirks, looks and character, as well as your life purpose and routine.

If you love the man that is looking back at you because he has worked hard to create an identity for himself and has overcome much hardship and tribulations in life, then you are ready to find someone.

If you do not love yourself and your identity is lacking in many key areas, then it is imperative that you redirect your focus towards loving yourself.

Your goal should be to discover exactly who you are.

Related post: What to do after a girl rejects you

You Lack Self Respect And Confidence

Let me explain the importance of developing your identity as a man.

For one to have self-respect, it is required to have a strong sense of identity. A man without self-respect is a man who will tolerate disrespect from others.

Guess what?

Without respect, a woman will never fall in love with you nor will she take you seriously.

A man with self-respect is never going to compromise his morals and ethics for the validation or attention of anyone, including a woman he likes.

He would be willing to walk away from someone who is not willing to invest in him or respect him as a man.

That is a mark of strength, courage and confidence.

Those traits are considered incredibly attractive to any and all women.

So, I think it’s safe to assume that the reason why it is so hard to get a girlfriend is because you have not developed a strong sense of self.

Are you ready for a relationship?

Honestly, are you the kind of man who is mature enough to even understand what he is looking for in a partner?

I was sitting with a relative lately and he is a few years older than me.

Despite desperately wanting to get married, he simply cannot find someone. 

When he manages to go on a ‘date’ with someone, it’s the kind of woman who is simply not compatible with him. 

Oftentimes, he never gets further than a few days of chatting despite declaring how serious he is about wanting a relationship.

When examining all of this, I couldn’t help but find striking ‘red flags’ that seemed to evade his awareness.

Although he has a good-looking face and takes time to groom his beard and hair, he’s let himself go. He doesn’t dress in a manner that would complement his features or age. His financial affairs need some work but more importantly, his mindset is one of desperation and fear. 

So, when he’s communicating with women, it’s almost as if he is desperate to lock them down which comes across as too forward, desperate and concerning.

In this state, he isn’t vetting women appropriately and is wasting precious time and energy inviting the wrong people into his life.

When I’m single, it’s intentional.

I won’t be searching for women or trying to desperately find a life partner because I’m aware of why I’m single.

I’m not afraid to be alone anymore nor am I lacking self-awareness. 

This is a superpower because it helps me to identify reasons why I wouldn’t be successful in a relationship in this state and I’d know how to fix those issues before I even start to entertain offers to date.

Ironically, due to a lack of desperation or fear-based thinking, I’m able to avoid toxic women while being propositioned by girls.

Women are very intuitive.

They can sense when a man is desperate or content.

Listen, a lot of men who struggled to get girlfriends have purchased my eBook on the subject and had tremendous success. It’s concise, practical and easy to follow with instructions. You need this if you keep getting rejected, ghosted or friendzoned. Click Here if you’re interested in grabbing a copy for a few bucks. 

Tips On How To Get A Woman To Fall For You

So far, I have explained the most important reasons why it is so hard to get a girlfriend.

By working on yourself and developing a strong identity, you will discover exactly what you’re looking for in a woman.

Once you know what you want, it’s a lot easier to find someone.

Additionally, you’ll be in the best position to attract someone who matches your requirements because you will be someone of substance and value.

As most relationship experts will say, you have to become who you want to attract.

Once you iron out those unattractive habits from yourself and present yourself as ideally as you possibly can, then it’s important to put yourself out there.

Don’t expect to find a wife in a crappy place like a club.

It’s as simple as that.

You need to pursue your interests and explore hobbies. Partaking in these activities allows you to meet like-minded women with similar interests.

It’s much easier to approach and communicate with someone who has a similar interest as you.

If that is too scary for you, try socializing with as many people as you can.

Greet strangers. 

Have a conversation with people around you by asking questions about what they like or dislike.

Put it out into the world that you are interested in meeting someone.

Describe that person so that people know what you’re looking for. Be specific about character traits because that is what women respond to.

They don’t care if you want beautiful women or whatever else that’s superficial. 

This is common knowledge.

Also, it shows confidence and a lack of desperation to have a distinct idea of what type of person you want in a partner. 

Join dating apps and make an effort to cultivate a profile that has substance.

More than just explaining who you are, draw on the kind of relationship and experiences you are looking to share with a woman.

So, when a woman stumbles on an account with that man who is talking about having adventures and so forth, it interests her much more than the man who just boasts about his accomplishments and uses a stupid pickup line,

Be funny if you’re good at it but most importantly, be authentic.

Women want to be courted. So, muster up some courage and initiate contact.

Don’t bother with trying to impress her or trying to sell yourself as an ideal man.

Instead, be authentic and try to determine if she’s the kind of girl you would want.

Avoid trying to make a girl fall for you over text.

Change up the conversation style by alternating between voice notes, pictures, a call and most importantly, a meeting in person.

Don’t sit on the phone texting her all the time. Instead, live a life of balance and take care of your responsibilities as well.

Take things slow and show a genuine interest in who she is without passing judgment on her.

The more comfortable a woman feels around you, the more likely she is to open up about who she really is.

When women feel understood, they begin to emotionally open up and connect.

Allow her to come to you at her own pace and keep escalating the time you spend with each other.

Once she’s fallen for you, she’s more than likely to display a ton of signs.

More often than not, if you haven’t brought up exclusivity, she’ll bring it up by asking you about where things are going.

That’s an opportunity for you to make it official.

Related post: When you stop caring, she starts chasing you

Final Thoughts

I’m sure that you have a lot to think about after reading this article on why it is so hard to get a girlfriend. 

I promise you that if you follow the advice that I have laid out for you above and in my eBook, you will have no problem at all in getting the girl of your dreams.

Ironically, it’s all about becoming the kind of man you are destined to be.

Take some time to assess the advice in this article, use what you need and get to work. The best results come only from action.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on why it is so hard to get a girlfriend to be insightful and valuable. Before you leave, be sure to subscribe to my email newsletter above because I share one email newsletter a week answering exclusive questions on all things related to relationships.