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Why Is It Important To Let A Man Chase You? (Decoding What Men Think)

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reasons to let men chase you, why men chase women

Are you wondering why it is important to let a man chase you? As much as it seems counterintuitive to take things slow with a guy you’re really into, there’s an upside to playing a little hard to get during the early days of courtship. With that being said, why is it important to let a man chase you?

He will perceive you as high-value and more attractive because scarcity breeds value. Anything of substance and value in this world requires some degree of pursuit and effort to acquire. If everyone could achieve a specific feat or item, it would not be valued as much. That’s not to imply that your company and presence are commodities to be acquired. Rather, it is to assert your value as a woman and why you should be chased.

To be honest, I don’t even like to use the word chase. 

Romantically speaking, men should pursue women. The pursuit of love is noble, dignified, and romantic. Chasing something or someone often necessitates reckless abandonment of oneself and doing anything to acquire what you want.

That may work in other areas of life, but attraction hinges on the existence of certain attributes or qualities. They are as follows:

  • Self-respect
  • Confidence
  • Dignity
  • Patience

One cannot maintain these personal attributes while also recklessly abandoning them during the chase for something or someone.

Think about this for a second.

The men who did chase you—were you really that attracted to them? More often than not, women are turned off by men who chase them incessantly.

Browse through the comment section on social media, and you’ll see that most women are amused and unattracted by all the men who are chasing them with compliments and attention.

Then we have to ask the question of whether or not you actually want a man who is desperate for you.

A natural implication of chasing is desperation.

You want something so badly that you are willing to desperately chase after it.

Is that really attractive?

Is a man who has value and an abundance mentality desperate for anyone?

I don’t think so.

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What attractive and valuable men do is pursue. 

They indulge in the pursuit of romance in an age-old way by reaching out to you, taking you on dates, charming you, and creating memories with you that foster love and closeness.

While doing that, he is also pursuing his goals and dreams as a man.

What makes someone a man is the fulfillment of his role as a provider, protector, and masculine partner.

Not just to his romantic interests but to his loved ones and close circle.

For him to do that, he can’t be desperately chasing women all the time.

If anything, he’d be too busy because being a good man requires a lot of work and effort. 

Observe the men who are working hard, committed to their community, building a life, and providing for their families. Are they free all the time? Do they spend most of their time on social media? Are they aimlessly socializing or indulging in vices that are toxic?


They don’t have the time or patience to seek validation and attention from women all the time.

That’s not to say that they won’t or don’t prioritize love.

On the contrary. 

They consider love and marriage top priorities in their lives.

But they understand that for a man to properly love a woman, he has to be a man of substance and purpose.

He cannot just look good or be successful.

He has to be a well-rounded individual who can create a life worth sharing with someone. Even if that life isn’t complete, it’s the dream that matters. Then, when he finds a wonderful woman, she can complete that picture and help him turn that dream life into a reality.

That’s the type of man you should be making space for.

This brings me to another reason why you should let a man chase you.

You need to read this article: What makes a man obsessed with a woman

How To Find Out If A Man Is Good For You

Would you agree that it’s important to have a filtration system in your life that separates the men who are good for you from the men who are bad for you?

But how do you do that?

Well, by letting a man chase you.

Those men who are not of high quality or worthy of you will disqualify themselves very quickly.

Within days or weeks, they’ll either say or do something to completely sabotage their courtship with you. You’ll begin to see their red flags if you give them time to chase you.

The only way in which you can filter out the wrong men from the right men is if you don’t just hand over your mind, body, and soul to a man who hasn’t earned the right to be with you.

Allowing the courtship to develop slowly and naturally can allow God to reveal what you need to know about a man before committing yourself to him.

Believe me when I tell you that the right man will not leave or sabotage the courtship with you just because you aren’t rushing into a relationship with him.

You need to read this article: 20 Qualities of a good man to marry

Men Commit More To Women They Chase Or Pursue

Another reason to consider letting a man chase you is to indulge the primal instinct of the hunter in most men.

There’s a great deal of joy that comes from conquest. Men who are in their masculine frame thrive when they have something to conquer and overcome.

Not only will this excite and encourage him to be around you, but it will also give you a look into the type of man he is.

There are two types of love.

Passionate love and compassionate love!

Most of us yearn for passionate love when we are single. The idea of being swept off our feet by someone who fills our hearts with an explosion of excitement and joy is intoxicating. The uncertainty of newness brings with it a new lease on life.

That’s a wonderful feeling to indulge in, and I wish that for all of us.

But, what burns brightly dies quickly.

Passionate love is like a forest fire that can consume everything in its path at a ferocious rate. It’s all-encompassing and overwhelming. But, once it runs out of steam, it dies down and leaves behind massive change with little to no life.

A slow-burning fireplace is much different.

It doesn’t burn bright, nor is it all-consuming but it provides a subtle and gentle flame that warms those around it.

Settling into the peaceful embrace of a warm, controlled fire is a feeling unlike anything else. 

It fills you with joy, peace, safety, and warmth.

This is what all of us need to thrive. It’s sustenance for our soul. This is what we refer to as compassionate love.

What’s interesting about compassionate love is that it’s the evolution of passionate love. If you want a long-lasting relationship, strive for compassionate love.

Here’s why.

Once the newness wears off and passionate love passes, a lot of couples struggle with doubt and uncertainty about their relationship.

Those who go on to have a rich, long-lasting, and fulfilling relationship allow compassionate love to steer them. Those who can’t end up leaving their relationship in search of the temporary and never-lasting feeling of passionate love.

What’s ironic is that with compassionate love comes some degree of passionate love. It just takes longer to present itself. 

You want to indulge in courtship to enjoy the honeymoon phase of passionate love, but at the same time, you want to create a foundation that is strong enough to withstand the short phase of lull that precedes the discovery of compassionate love.

To do this, you must understand and connect with someone on a deeper level, but that takes time.

This is why it’s important to let a man chase you, because it provides both of you with a connection that is built on more than passionate love.

You need to read this article: What he thinks when you don’t contact him

Final Thoughts

When writing this article, my goal was to present ideas that give you the best chance of finding a man who will love you for the rest of your life.

We live in a time where the sanctity of love has been violated by ideas that indulge short-term pleasures over long-term fulfillment.

I want to guide men and women who want love and marriage with advice that supports this goal.

This is why I encourage you to value yourself as a woman.

Have good standards, test men when necessary, understand what you are looking for, and take things slightly slower to filter out men who want to use you from men who want to love you.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on why it is important to let a man chase you to be helpful and a source of guidance. If you’d like to get an ex back, grab a copy of my ebook called Reconcile by clicking here. Alternatively, if you’d like to work with me directly, visit my services page for more information on my email coaching package.

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