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Why Is He Becoming Distant? (Unmasking The Truth)

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reasons why he is being distant, reasons why a guy is distant with you, what makes a man become distant

There are certain signs that usually indicate a growing problem in a relationship, and distance is one of the main culprits. When a man becomes distant, there are a limited number of reasons for his change in behavior. This article is going to explore the full list of reasons why he is becoming distant, along with advice on what you should do about it.

Here’s a quick look at the reasons why he is becoming distant:

  1. He’s hurt or upset.
  2. He’s traumatized by the past.
  3. He’s losing interest.
  4. He’s going through a personal crisis.
  5. He’s having doubts about the relationship.
  6. He’s busy with work.
  7. He’s talking to someone else.
  8. He’s creating distance before he ends the relationship.

Some of these reasons are major causes for concern, while others just require a simple conversation to restore harmony in your relationship.

Let’s discuss each of these reasons in more detail so that you have a good understanding of what it means for your relationship and how to handle these issues.

You need to read this article: What to do when an avoidant partner withdraws?

Reasons Why He Is Acting Distant All Of A Sudden

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1. He’s hurt or upset

Have you said or done something to hurt him? 

Perhaps you were insensitive to him during a conversation, or you’ve done something to make him feel unappreciated, disrespected, or dismissed.

If that is the case, it may explain why he is becoming distant.

Some men are the type to withdraw and pull away when they feel undermined and unwanted. If I’m being perfectly honest, I can be that way from time to time.

Unless my feelings are properly acknowledged and the person has taken the time to show that they care, I’ll have a hard time communicating with them. That doesn’t mean I won’t express how I feel.

He may not want to explain until you reach out or bring it up because he wants to see if you care enough to notice the difference in his behavior.

2. He’s traumatized by the past

People who have experienced trauma related to relationships tend to yo-yo between extremes during courtship.

At first, they may feel excited and enthusiastic about new love, but as things get serious, the side effects of trauma plunge them into a fearful state. 

Someone who has been cheated on may yearn for love and commitment, but when it comes knocking, they’re afraid to open that door out of fear of being hurt or cheated on again.

If you would like a step-by-step explanation on how to get an ex back or to re-attract someone who lost interest, grab a copy of my ebook called Reconcile. I put this guide together for serious students of the game who want to cut through the fluff and get results in their love life. Click Here To Check It Out! 

If his distance correlates with the escalation of commitment, it could be rooted in past trauma.

3. He’s losing interest

Some relationships that burn brightly in the beginning have the potential to die out just as quickly.

Passion is wonderful, but it doesn’t automatically translate to long term love and commitment.

He may have felt strongly about you at first while you were a mystery and a new person in his life, but as familiarity sets in and novelty wears off, it’s possible that he’s losing interest.

If you begin to chase or throw yourself at him when his interest begins to diminish, that’s when he’ll start to become more distant. 

You need to read this article: Can you re-attract someone who lost interest?

4. He’s going through a personal crisis

During times of hardship or loss, men have the habit of withdrawing until they figure out how to move forward. 

Not everyone is wired to communicate their feelings to others, especially sadness or stress. 

He may not want to burden you with his problems, or he may be afraid that opening up may turn you off. 

If there are no signs of infidelity, lies, or maliciousness and it hasn’t been more than a few days since some catastrophic event at work or in his personal life, he just needs time to process his emotions, which would explain why he is becoming distant.

Don’t make the mistake of not addressing his change in behavior. If he is going through a tragedy or crisis, I’m sure you want to be supportive and present for him.

5. He’s having doubts about the relationship

During the early days of courtship, it’s normal for people to have doubts and uncertainties.

It’s not so normal when those doubts appear during a long term relationship.

When it happens, guys fear bringing it up for a plethora of reasons. But, I don’t even think the reason matters. What matters is that he’s having doubts, and he ought to be talking to you about them.

Doubts trigger pressure and anxiety in many people, and our natural reaction is often to avoid the cause of our doubts.

You need to read this article: My boyfriend doesn’t talk to me like he used to

6. He’s busy with work

As much as it’s important for women to have high standards, it’s important to note that highly ambitious men may struggle to maintain balance in their lives.

Some men become obsessive about achieving something at a particular time. 

When this happens, it’s difficult for them to muster up much attention for anything else.

There will be seasons in life, and sometimes your partner may direct most of their attention and energy to something else.

Rather than freaking out about it, assert that this is the reason, and then communicate your needs to him while accommodating his desires as well.

7. He’s talking to someone else

I’m sure this is the last thing you want to hear, but it’s something you can’t avoid.

When a man is in love with someone, he’s not going to randomly become distant.

If you have ruled out the possibility of a life problem or tragedy and he doesn’t seem to give you a real answer to why he seems distant, but he appears online often and his social media activity hasn’t slowed down, then there’s a strong chance that he’s talking to someone else.

I’m a man, and I’ve been in long term relationships.

I can tell you with certainty that I was never too busy or too occupied to be connected with my partner at the time. 

If I was, it wouldn’t last for many days or weeks. I certainly wouldn’t be online all the time while sending the bare minimum of replies, either. 

These are warning signs that you should be aware of.

You need to read this article: I stopped texting him and haven’t heard from him!

8. He’s creating distance before he ends the relationship

Unfortunately, in many cases, the dumper often knows that they are going to end the relationship way before they actually do it.

Barring breakups caused by deceit and/or abuse, the person who wants out of the relationship starts to distance themselves to make it easier for them to pull the trigger and to also prepare you in some way for what’s to come.

It doesn’t work for the dumpee, but it does allow the dumper to gain the courage they need to end the relationship swiftly.

What To Do When A Guy Becomes Distant

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If you had asked me this question a year ago, I would have told you to give him space and not chase him.

For the most part, that still holds true.

But, when you’re in a relationship and your feelings are involved, it doesn’t make sense to just resort to that reaction when your partner is becoming distant.

What you need to do is find out the reason for this behavior.

Now, he may open up to you, and it will be one of the reasons mentioned above that can be resolved.

Alternatively, he may deflect and give you little to no answers. 

But even that, in and of itself, is an answer.


Well, because a man who is committed to the relationship will not allow his partner to just feel bothered and insecure by his distant behavior. 

If you did something to upset him, he’d use this opportunity to express his feelings because it’s obvious that you care enough to notice a change in his behavior.

Which just leaves you with the possibility that he’s losing interest, talking to someone else, or looking to break up.

Either way, you’ll have some direction and information to work with.

If you’re not in a relationship with him, even then, it’s okay to casually bring up the change in his behavior.

Observe his reaction, his reply, and if anything changes.

That will usually give you an idea of where he is and whether you need to distance yourself from him if you are coming on too strong.

Most people need to ask questions and address this behavior to give themselves the peace of mind that comes from trying to save a relationship.

If this continues and nothing changes for weeks, you need to consider leaving the relationship, even temporarily.

You need to read this article: How much space should you give an avoidant?

Final Thoughts

That brings us to the end of this article on why he is becoming distant and what you should do about it.

I’m sorry that you are going through this right now, but it’s something all of us have to deal with at some point or another.

Handle the situation with grace, maturity, and dignity.

Honor yourself by addressing it and giving him an opportunity to ease your uncertainty.

If things are meant to work out, I promise you they will. If they aren’t, at least you’ll walk away knowing that you made an honest effort to make things work.

With that being said, if you need help re-attracting an ex or your partner, grab a copy of my eBook called Reconcile by clicking here. Alternatively, check out my service page for information on my email coaching package.

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