When going through a breakup, it’s not uncommon to feel like an addict who is suffering from the most painful withdrawal symptoms. Sometimes they leave for months, other times they come back within weeks. You may be desperate to text or respond to them but in this article, I’m going to share some reasons why ignoring your ex is powerful.
The reason why ignoring your is powerful is because it can help you to do the following:
- Reinforce your self respect.
- Break free from the past.
- Re-attract your ex.
- Heal from trauma.
- Meet someone new.
This may not be the case for everyone and there are instances when you can achieve your desire or goal despite remaining in contact with your ex.
It all depends on who you are, who your ex is, the type of relationship you shared before the breakup and after the breakup and your vision for the future.
What I also want to emphasize is that I am not advocating for mind games and manipulation.
The purpose of this article isn’t to treat someone like trash or to be childish and ignore your ex for silly reasons.
This is only applicable to scenarios wherein you have been blatantly disrespected or discarded, you’ve done things like chase your ex out of your life or you desperately need distance and your ex is not respecting these boundaries.
People who have not dealt with a toxic ex or codependency issues may not understand how a relationship can rule your entire life.
In such a situation, it becomes a fight for survival and sometimes you have to resort to ignoring your ex in order to gain some power in your life.
With that being said, let’s examine each of the reasons why ignoring your ex is powerful.
Related post: Ignoring your ex is the best revenge
1. You can reinforce your self-respect
Anyone who has dealt with codependency or a toxic relationship will understand how much of a struggle it is to make self-respecting decisions because you’re constantly catering to someone else rather than yourself.
Perhaps you were treated poorly by an ex or subjected to humiliation and great betrayal without remorse.
Whatever it may be, the act of breaking free from the clutches of a toxic relationship can be liberating and empowering after exploring a time in your life that was destructive and demeaning.
To the outsider, it would seem crazy for someone to remain attached and committed to an ex who has hurt them severely but it’s much more complicated.
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When you attach your entire identity to the wrong person, it can have detrimental effects on your ability to preserve your sense of well-being, independence and self.
This is mainly the reason why ignoring your ex is powerful because it takes back the power you handed over to your ex.
Essentially, you’re making a choice that prioritizes your own needs over the needs of an ex from a relationship that is no longer.
By doing so, it’s undoubtedly going to have a profound effect on your self-esteem and confidence.
It’s the same deal when you prioritize your health, career, morals and so forth.
You’re making an empowering choice for what you truly desire over what’s harmful or non-beneficial for you in the long run.
Related post: Should you be ignoring her when she goes cold?
2. You can break free from the past
I am an incredibly sentimental person and I have an unhealthy relationship with letting go. I’m terrible at it, even if it’s destructive or bad for me.
I’m working on it but there have been times in the past when I have opted to just ignore an ex because it didn’t serve me at all to reply to their text.
The craziest thing about this is that there was a time when I struggled to let go of these people even when they didn’t care much about how I felt.
Yet, when they returned trying to get my attention, I chose to ignore them and move on with my life.
This had a great effect on me because I finally felt free from the past.
Think about it, so many of us are depressed because of past regrets or past attachments!
Imagine breaking free from the chains of the past so that your present and future can be open and free for new experiences and people.
That’s exciting and liberating.
But, it’s not easy.
That’s what I’ve learned from all my experiences.
Most of these decisions are simple but not easy to make.
You have to muster up a lot of courage to ignore someone you once yearned for or possibly still care about.
But, if there’s no hope for reconciliation and being in each other’s lives is more toxic and painful than being out of each other’s lives, then it may be best for you to ignore your ex.
3. You can re-attract your ex
When emotions of desperation and neediness take over a person, they can convince themselves to act in ways that are even out of character.
And if they’re already quite an unstable person, then they will act out on ideas and thoughts that are almost considered insane.
From chasing to humiliating themselves in front of their ex and other people, nothing is off the table for people who have little to no emotional self-control.
But, when you examine the behavior of men and women who have no problem attracting people or reattracting their ex, you’ll find that they exercise a great degree of patience and emotional self-control.
Instead of doing what someone who is desperate to win back an ex will do, they choose to act from a space of power and strength.
Rather than chasing their ex, sending countless messages, calling to beg for another chance and stalking their ex online, they choose to do none of the above and behave like someone with a healthy amount of self-respect and control.
In turn, their ex views this behavior in a positive light because it shows maturity, self-respect, dignity and power.
All of which are considered extremely attractive to people, especially women.
This is one of the reasons why ignoring your ex is powerful.
There are specific instances of which this applies and by no means am I advocating for you to stonewall an ex.
I’m simply stating that if an ex dumped you or treated you like trash and is reaching out to breadcrumb you or friendzone you despite making it clear that you’re not interested in that, ignoring them is congruent with what you want and expect.
The thing is this, if they’re reaching out to reconcile or make amends and this is something that you are interested in, there’s no need to ignore your ex.
It’s all about considering the situation and factors at play when deciding how to approach an ex.
Related post: How to make a guy chase you by ignoring him
4. You can heal from trauma
“You can’t heal in the same place that made you sick.”
To some, this is accurate.
As much as you don’t want to completely part ways with your ex or risk coming across as angry or rude to your ex, ignoring him or her may be crucial for your healing process.
It takes a lot of time, hard work and patience to overcome trauma caused within a relationship and by your ex.
Burying that trauma or trying to pretend like it didn’t happen will only sabotage your future because you cannot subdue traumatic feelings indefinitely.
Eventually, they will bubble to the surface and you’ll explode, possibly ruining potential relationships in your life and experiencing a greater deal of pain and suffering in the future when you could be healed and happy instead.
If remaining in contact with your ex causes too many triggers or they’re adding fuel to the fire of your trauma, ignoring them might be the only viable option at your disposal right now.
5. You can meet someone new
I probably should elaborate on what I mean by this because even if you’re still in communication with your ex, it doesn’t mean that you won’t meet someone new.
But, you’re going to have an easier time developing a stronger attraction and connection with someone new without the presence of a past lover, especially when there are unresolved issues at bay.
I’ve learned in my life that you cannot build a great future while constantly living in the past.
You have to let go of certain things, experiences and people along the way to make space for something or someone new to enter your life.
That’s just the nature of life.
Most relationships will end and you have to make peace with that.
Easier said than done and I understand how difficult it is to let go of someone you still love.
You could do it easily or you may struggle like the rest of us.
But, you also deserve credit for trying to do what’s best for yourself.
And that’s the underlying message of this article.
It’s really not about ignoring your ex. I get it, ignoring your ex is powerful for a number of reasons but that’s just the equivalent of gift wrapping.
The true gift is choosing one’s future, mental health and overall happiness with a difficult decision.
You’re earning the right to heal, to move on, to meet someone new and to experience more of life by doing something that hurts you in the short term.
But, it will also mature you and teach you a great deal about yourself as a person.
And by growing as a person, you’re going to become someone that your future partner will be attracted to, even if that is your ex.
In conclusion
When looking at this topic through the lens of exercising self-control and prioritizing your future and emotional well-being, it’s hard to deny why ignoring your ex is powerful.
Something that I haven’t touched on is how it can be a favor to your ex.
There may come a time when your ex is in the position of the one who is struggling to move on. Perhaps they’re suffering and unable to move on and communicating with them is only going to feel their obsession or desire.
Ignoring your ex may be rude and a bit harsh to them but in the long run, it may be exactly what they need in order to heal and finally let go of the relationship.
But if your goal is to get back with your ex, then I urge you to end no contact when they reach out with a desire to reconcile or work through things with you.
It is fruitless and immature to ignore someone for punishment or to manipulate them.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on why ignoring your ex is powerful to be insightful and thought-provoking. If you have any questions or thoughts on this topic that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below to let me know.