Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. The fact that you are here trying to figure out where you’re going wrong with girls is a good sign. If you’ve had a string of rejections, I’m sure you just want the answer to the following question: why don’t girls like me?
More often than not, the reason is that you’re selecting the wrong girls, projecting the wrong image, talking girls out of liking you, chasing girls out of your life or self-sabotaging.
With some introspection, self-awareness and tips on dating which I will share with you before, I’m more than certain you will be able to turn things around and attract a bunch of girls.
But, the only way to do so is by reaching a point of complete comfort and happiness being single before you start pursuing girls.
This will ensure that you don’t project neediness or desperation.
This change or fix will make a drastic impact on your dating and love life if you can put in the necessary work.
Be that as it may, let’s first examine all the reasons why girls don’t like you so that you can iron these things out of your behavior as soon as humanly possible.
Reasons Why Girls Don’t Like You
1. You’re vain
Most women want to be a part of their own romantic stories. Even though they put a great deal of effort into looking beautiful, that’s not why they want to be pursued and courted.
People, both men and women, want to be understood. They want to be acknowledged, accepted and loved for who they are.
When you appear into their life and focus only on looks and appearances, it doesn’t fulfill that desire they have for being truly loved.
Superficial acknowledgment does very little to develop love. It feels good momentarily and feeds the ego but not the heart.
For this reason, girls don’t like you or fall in love with you because your focus is only on a superficial connection.
It will only make her feel like you are interested in finding a handbag rather than a beautiful human being to share a life with.
I think it’s important for you to examine your values and perception of women as well as relationships.
You’re losing out on experiencing the joys of a wholesome relationship by fixating on metrics of vanity.
I’m not saying that you should ignore physical attraction altogether but let it be a part of the reason why you pursue a woman, not the only reason.
Seek out a physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual connection with someone and you will start getting girls who like you.
Related post: Why did she leave me for someone else?
2. You don’t treat people with respect
Examine the core components of a romantic relationship and you will understand that respect is at the very core.
No relationship can thrive without respect.
The problem is that when you appear to be a disrespectful person, you don’t garner much respect in your life.
Some people may appear ‘respectful’ out of fear rather than choice.
You can’t expect someone to respect and like you without being respectful yourself.
Like attracts like.
If you do happen to attract someone, it’s most likely going to be someone who is just as disrespectful as you.
And that girl will make you feel like a piece of crap because that’s how you treat others.
You lose absolutely nothing by exercising respect towards others.
3. You are weirdly nice
The problem with overly nice guys is that they come across as insincere. Women will test you and these tests are usually to determine whether you have self-respect.
They’ll also test to determine your boundaries and willingness to command some respect in the courtship or relationship.
Nice guys go along with anything and everything. They abandon their code of ethics and values for the sake of approval and validation from women.
Even if it means that they’re sacrificing important things, they go along with it.
The problem with this approach is that it can be viewed as weak and also insincere.
Treat women you are attracted to the way you would treat any woman. Be consistent and be a man who has a backbone.
If you can’t even stand up to her when she is being disrespectful, how will you stand up to someone else who threatens her or the relationship?
This will only create a sense of fear within her and what I know is that most women need to feel safe with a man before they truly bring down their walls and start loving you.
4. You lack confidence
Confidence is so sexy and girls love it. Here’s the thing, when you are confident, you are aware and accepting of who you are.
In other words, you know exactly what your worth is and you’re willing to behave in accordance with that understanding.
Someone who lacks confidence is too afraid to take risks, be bold, be courageous and take a chance at impressing her.
That makes for a lack of excitement and romance in a relationship.
A confident man is fun to be around because he’s not so bothered about what people think about him.
His focus is on having a good time, especially with a date.
To build confidence, it is imperative that you keep the promises that you make to yourself. Additionally, make an effort to show up to the best of your abilities.
In dating, confidence comes from conquering your fear of rejection, approaching women with the attitude that you deserve to be in their presence and setting aside your fear of being romantic with her.
Related post: What to do when you feel ugly
5. You’re too negative and pessimistic
Love and attraction grow and develops when they are exposed to laughter, fun, joy, happiness and closeness.
The problem is that someone who constantly fixates on the negatives, is always expecting doom and spreads a dullness to others doesn’t come across as attractive at all.
Most of the time, you’re miserable in this mindset.
It’s only fair to assume that it’s making girls feel miserable to be around you.
You’re not putting them in a state susceptible to falling in love. You’re just making her feel as critical, pessimistic and negative as you.
So, how is she supposed to develop a positive feeling for you?
6. You are selecting the wrong girls to pursue
Not always are we logical and rational when it comes to matters of the heart. In fact, most of the time, we try to rationalize our feelings that inspire the decisions we make.
A lot of the girls you pursue may not be healthy partners for you.
Compatibility and personality issues are unavoidable.
When they appear, most guys choose to ignore these red flags but that will not change the course of events.
Ignorance is not blissful when it comes to matters of the heart.
You can’t force someone to treat you well nor can you force them to change to be ideal for you.
That’s a recipe for rejection or heartbreak.
You need to take an objective and rational look at yourself and the type of women you need and want in your life.
You need someone who will compliment your life, not cause distress and discomfort.
Related post: 20 Qualities of a good woman
7. You don’t have a life of meaning
I hate to sound harsh but I’m coming from a place of care and personal experience.
You will never truly attract what you deserve until you become the kind of person who deserves those things and people.
It’s not good enough to just talk about what you want or where you wish to be.
You have a limited amount of time on this planet and it is imperative that you spend it chasing after the things that are of importance to you.
It’s usually in the pursuit of goals and dreams that we become the best version of ourselves.
Women are extremely attracted to men who are ambitious.
Think about this for a second – why wouldn’t you want to be ambitious?
You stand to gain and there are barely any negatives to being an ambitious man!
Here’s what you should do, make a list of 100 things to do, be or become and start working towards ticking off the items on your list.
I’m willing to bet that as you make progress through your list, you’re going to attract some great women because you will develop more into the kind of man who deserves high-quality women.
Related post: How to cope with anxiety about being single
8. You don’t make an effort to be romantic
Far too many men get brainwashed by pickup artists to act like a douche-bag expecting this to land them a girlfriend.
Using lousy tactics like negging may work on certain women but the majority of girls will be put off.
There’s no PUA tactic that can beat a proper romantic connection between you and a girl.
Being romantic doesn’t mean you have to stand outside her window with a boombox.
Simple things like being chivalrous, writing her a little sweet note or letter, buying her a rose for your date, picking her up at her front door and so forth are what most women find romantic.
Surprising her with spontaneous gestures of love work so well on a girl who has some attraction and interest in you.
Related post: How to impress a girl
9. You don’t take care of yourself
When you think about the effort women make to look good for themselves and to attract men, it’s hard to deny that women find value in an effort towards appearing put together.
If they view this effort as something of value, then wouldn’t they also be attracted to a man who clearly feels the same way?
Nobody is saying that you have to go to the lengths that women do but you should at least try to dress smartly, appear groomed and smell sexy.
By doing this, you’re already appealing to two of her senses, sight and smell.
Apart from the effect it has on girls, you’ll feel more confident around them knowing that you’ve maxed out your appearance.
This added boost in confidence may even be small but it could be one it the last things that were sabotaging you from getting girls to like you.
10. You’re undervaluing yourself by chasing them
Do me a favor, spend a good minute thinking about the girls who either rejected you or slipped through your fingers, were you chasing them?
I’m willing to bet that 9 out of 10 times, the answer will be yes.
You kept texting, calling or trying to woo her despite an obvious lack or loss of interest or attraction from her.
Rejection is known to trigger some obsession within people.
And the more you invest in someone who isn’t showing as much interest, the more obsessed you become in trying to change things.
This just leads you down a path of pain and humiliation.
Why do you need to chase someone?
Honestly, what do you have to gain from chasing someone?
This is just a desperate attempt to get validated by her because you assume that because she doesn’t want you, then she must be better than you in some way to be able to look down on you.
So, you think that getting her will increase your worth in some way but this is a fallacy.
It’s an ugly narrative that is trapping you in a cycle of desperately seeking validation from girls who are not interested.
The only person undermining your own worth is you because you’re rewarding people who aren’t looking to buy what you’re selling.
When you realize that you deserve someone who is interested, ready, open and willing to invest in you the way you want to invest in her, that’s when girls will like you.
Because you won’t be wasting precious time, energy and effort on the wrong girls.
I hope that by reading this article, I have convinced you that the reason why girls don’t like you isn’t that you’re unlovable or irredeemable.
You just have to alter some behavioral patterns and invest more in building confidence and self-worth to start attracting the right girls.
Trust me when I tell you that the self-development journey is truly an enjoyable and transformative one.
You will end up getting girls to like you but more importantly, you’ll start to love yourself.
With that being said, I wish you all the best on your journey. I truly hope this article on why girls don’t like you were eye-opening and insightful. If you have any questions or thoughts, please share them with me by visiting the comment section below.