Nothing destroys a relationship like secrecy. There’s an expectation placed on two people in a relationship to share themselves vulnerably with each other. Through this experience, trust is nurtured. For a guy, it’s anxiety-inducing and concerning when his girlfriend shows signs of dishonesty or secrecy. That being said, why does my girlfriend hide her phone? That’s a question I get often, and I’m going to share a list of reasons to explain this behavior.
It’s possible that the reason why your girlfriend hides her phone is because she’s talking to an ex, she’s cheating on you, she’s flirting with other guys, she has old pictures and videos she doesn’t want you to see, she doesn’t trust you enough to respect her privacy, or she’s texting guy friends.
In most cases, it’s something that needs to be addressed and can be a major red flag. Be that as it may, let’s take a closer look at all the reasons why she hides her phone and what it could mean for your relationship.
Thereafter, I’ll share some advice on how to handle a problem like this in a respectful, masculine, and proper manner.
You need to read this article: My girlfriend doesn’t care about me. What should I do?
Reasons Why She Hides Her Phone From You
1. She’s talking to an ex
You’d be surprised at how many people in relationships remain closely attached to their ex.
It’s an issue because we need both feet planted in the present moment to show up adequately in life.
But when we keep one foot in the past, we are never truly invested in or aware of the blessings we have right now.
The past is intoxicating, and a retrospective view of it is often distorted by rose-tinted glasses.
Once a relationship ends, it is in our best interest to leave all communication with our ex in the past.
It’s okay to check in with each other from time to time.
However, texting on a regular basis and keeping in touch with an ex prevents us from developing a deeper connection with our new selves and new people.
If she isn’t entirely over her ex or if she has an issue with validation or attention, she may entertain the efforts of her ex.
She knows that it would upset you, which is why she hides her phone.
But, if it would upset you, why does she do it? Not remaining in regular contact with her ex is not an unreasonable boundary.
A woman who understands boundaries and commitment will not dishonor her relationship in this way.
It’s a red flag, and you need to be aware of it.
2. She’s cheating on you
Infidelity would explain why she hides her phone from you.
- Does she have a password to her phone that she doesn’t share with you?
- Does she place her phone face down on surfaces when you are around?
- Does she silence notifications when she’s with you?
- Does she sneak off to take calls away from you?
- Does she appear cagey when you ask her who she’s on the phone with so often?
If you answered affirmatively to the questions above, then it indicates a strong possibility of infidelity in some form or another, especially if this behavior persists for some time.
Men should be trusting in relationships, but they should not ignore warning signs or ignore behavior that violates their boundaries.
You need to read this article: What is considered cheating in a relationship?
3. She’s flirting with other guys
Perhaps, she’s not in a relationship with anyone else.
Perhaps, she’s not talking to her ex.
But, she could be flirting with other guys and doesn’t want you to see it.
In her mind, she sees it as a bad thing, but not to the degree of infidelity. She enjoys the validation and attention she gets from guys hitting on her.
Insecure women tend to be the most susceptible to outside attention.
They desire ongoing validation and attention due to their lack of self worth or self esteem.
The same could be said for women with integrity issues.
She knows it would hurt you and that it’s disrespectful, which is why she hides her phone from you. But, she doesn’t care enough about her own integrity or the relationship to avoid outside attention.
4. She has old pictures and videos she doesn’t want you to see
Sentimental people tend to hold onto pictures from the past.
It’s possible that she has pictures and videos from past relationships that would upset you.
Instead of deleting them, she just chooses to hide her phone to avoid an argument or fight.
It may not be the biggest issue if someone doesn’t want to part with their memories by deleting pictures and videos.
But, they should be respectful enough to store it away so that they don’t feel compelled to hide their phone.
The issue arises when you can’t determine if she’s just sentimental or hung up on her ex. Also, if the content of these pictures and videos changes your perception of her.
5. She doesn’t trust you enough to respect her privacy
It’s highly possible that your girlfriend hides her phone because she doesn’t trust you.
She may not be doing anything underhanded, but she feels like you would violate her trust by snooping on her phone and reading her private conversations with friends and family.
Insecure, controlling, and overly suspicious men always end up ruining their relationships because they can’t exercise respect for boundaries.
6. She’s texting guy friends
Some women have a lot of guy friends and text them regularly.
If you’re not cool with it or she feels like you’re insecure, then she’ll hide her phone from you. She wouldn’t want you to see her chats, and she wants to avoid arguing about it.
Personally, I wouldn’t put up with it.
As a man, I know the intention of most guys who agree to be friends.
They’re just waiting for an opportunity to escalate things.
I wouldn’t tolerate my girlfriend frequently texting guy friends. What I wouldn’t do is make an issue about it. It’s a boundary, and she has a choice to make.
If she wants to remain in constant contact with them, more power to her. But, I’m leaving, and we both can find people who are more compatible with our differing values.
Have A Conversation With Her About It
You have to be open to conversations that are uncomfortable for your relationship to survive and thrive.
It’s not good enough for you to be a walkover.
You’re supposed to be the man in your relationship.
Part of being a leader requires you to address issues when they arise and clear a path for the relationship to grow.
This means getting to the bottom of an issue or being clear about boundaries.
If something malicious is taking place behind your back, conversations will alert you to inconsistencies or other red flags.
The key is to be firm without being accusatory. Your girlfriend will close up or go on the defensive if she feels cornered.
Remain calm and respectful, but ask her upfront why her phone isn’t more accessible around you.
Choose To Trust Her But Don’t Ignore Warning Signs
I’ll be the first to admit that it’s never a good idea to jump to conclusions.
It’s best to have a conversation, choose to trust her, observe her behavior, and verify when you need to.
If things add up, trust that they do. If things don’t add up, trust that they don’t.
You cannot control her behavior. If she wants to cheat, she’ll cheat. There’s nothing you can do to stop her, and you shouldn’t have to.
In fact, trying to prevent someone from cheating is a big waste of your time.
You should be with someone whose integrity and values align with yours.
All you can do is show up with good intentions and put your best foot forward.
Let things play out as they will.
Make your boundaries abundantly clear and stand by your word.
If she cheats, it’s over. There’s no excuse, and there’s no coming back from that. It’s simple. If she doesn’t, she gets to enjoy a relationship with you.
The kind of relationship that isn’t built on the backs of suspicion, control, insecurity, doubt, and secrecy.
If you’re going to remain in this relationship, you may as well choose to trust her. What’s the point in doing anything else? You’ll just be miserable if you walk around constantly in doubt and fear.
Believe me when I tell you that the right girl will not cheat on you.
You need to read this article: How to overcome the fear of being cheated on
That brings us to the end of this article on why does your girlfriend hide her phone.
There are a number of possible reasons that would explain why she hides her phone, but in most cases, it’s a cause for concern.
This is the type of issue that needs to be addressed, either to confirm your suspicions or to remove them.
Either way, you have to talk to her about it because this is something that will cast more doubt and fear into you, which will obviously affect the quality of your relationship.
With that being said, if you would like to work with me through this type of issue with your girlfriend, check out my services page for more information on my email consultation package and how to get in contact with me.