Secrecy in relationships often leads to disconnection or severed trust. There’s no place for it. In a healthy relationship, there is a great degree of openness and accessibility. But, what happens when there isn’t? Could it be a sign of something malicious? This brings us to a common question asked these days: why does my boyfriend hide his phone?
There could be a number of reasons why your boyfriend hides his phone, and they are as follows:
- He’s talking to other women.
- He’s in a relationship with someone else.
- He has pornography on his phone.
- He kept pictures from previous relationships.
- He doesn’t trust you to respect his privacy.
- He’s still in contact with an ex.
In most cases, it’s a cause for concern, which is why you are so bothered by him hiding his phone.
Reasons Why He Hides His Phone From You
1. He’s talking to other women
Given the access every man has to women these days, it’s not a stretch of the imagination to assume that he could be talking to other women.
Either he likes to talk to other women casually for validation and attention, or he intends on flirting with other women for the purpose of messing around.
The latter sounds worse, but in both scenarios, it’s a red flag.
If it weren’t, he wouldn’t be hiding his phone.
You need to read this article: What is considered cheating in a relationship?
2. He’s in a relationship with someone else
I hate to say it, but one of the signs of infidelity is secrecy with a phone.
When a guy has another partner, he’ll be incredibly protective of his phone.
You won’t have any access to it, he’ll place it face down against surfaces to shield it from you, and/or he’ll be on it without you having any visibility to who he’s texting.
A guy who hides his phone from his girlfriend isn’t necessarily cheating, but every guy who is cheating will always hide his phone to some degree.
3. He has pornography on his phone
Digital infidelity is a huge issue these days.
It’s such a new topic that most people are still figuring out their boundaries in respect to pornography.
However, it’s a prominent possibility that the reason why your boyfriend hides his phone is because he’s a frequent viewer or porn.
It becomes more problematic when his porn usage extends to online live shows or only fan subscriptions.
Whether this constitutes cheating depends on your boundaries and expectations in a relationship.
You need to read this article: Why does my husband look at other females online?
4. He kept pictures from previous relationships
In some cases, he may not be cheating on you or viewing inappropriate content but has pictures and videos from past relationships that he doesn’t want you to see.
Either he’s extremely sentimental and has a hard time letting go of past memories or he’s holding onto that last bit of connection to an old relationship and doesn’t want you to see that.
He probably knows that it would upset you which is why he hides his phone from you.
5. He doesn’t trust you to respect his privacy
If you haven’t been together for a long time or you have a history of doing things that violate his boundaries, it would make sense why he doesn’t allow you to have access to his phone.
Perhaps he doesn’t want you snooping through his chats and violating the confidentiality he has promised to friends and family who confide in him on text.
6. He’s still in contact with an ex
Some people choose to remain friends with an ex.
Either they moved on completely and have no residual feelings for each other, or he’s still attached to her in a romantic way.
You need to read this article: Here’s why he is online but not texting you
Observe His Behavior
In relationships, you want to trust your partner at all times but at the same time, it’s important to verify.
I’m not a believer in blind trust. Some of us, including myself, use this as a crutch to ignore warning signs of infidelity or lies.
There are a few warning signs of infidelity associated with phone usage. Observe his Behavior and compare it against the questions below. If you answer Yes to most of these questions, it could be cause for concern.
- Does he spend a lot of time on his phone?
- Does he sneak off into the bathroom or another room to take calls?
- Does he share his lock pin with you?
- Does he ever unlock his phone around you?
- Does he spend a lot of time on social media?
Let me just preface this by saying that it’s not always a clear cut case of infidelity if the answer to these questions are yes.
In fact, some people are so good at hiding their indiscretions that they have no fear of giving you access to their phone.
Apps like second space and having dual SIM phones make it easy for cheaters to hide who they’re talking to or what they’re doing.
Talk To Him About It
To avoid misunderstandings, resentment, and a breach of trust, I am of the belief that addressing concerns is of paramount importance in relationships.
Certainly, these types of conversations are uncomfortable, but they are necessary.
Don’t make the mistake of avoiding tough conversations that could potentially save your relationship or give you a warning sign that something sinister is taking place behind your back.
If your boyfriend has nothing to hide and is committed to the relationship, he’ll be understanding and forthcoming with you.
Express your concerns and needs to him without being confrontational or accusatory.
In doing so, you should be able to avoid an unnecessary argument while gaining information from his explanation, body language, and behavior to either confirm your suspicions or put them to rest.
Choose To Trust Him
At the end of the day, you can’t control whether your boyfriend will be faithful or not.
Do the best that you can to remain clear minded and alert in the relationship but accept the risk that comes with being vulnerable.
There are no guarantees to fidelity, that’s why trust is so crucial in a relationship.
Knowing that someone could hurt us but trusting that they won’t is a part of what makes a relationship so intimate and emotionally compelling.
If, after addressing the issue, his behavior changes for the better and you feel at ease with his explanation, then choose to truth him and move forward with peace of mind.
If that isn’t the case but you wish to proceed in the relationship, make your boundaries clear to him and then choose to trust him.
It would be fruitless to remain in the relationship with him while constantly fighting or seeking out evidence that he’s lying.
You’ll confirm what you already know. Alternatively, you may never find anything and the relationship will always be doomed for you.
You’ll sleep with one eye open for as long as you’re with him.
What’s the point?
A partner should bring you safety and peace. Keep that in mind when navigating relationships or vetting potential partners.
When something of this nature begins to bother you, it indicates a warning sign of bad behavior by their partner or a lack of trust in you.
In both cases, you need to explore these issues and address them.
Either your suspicions will be correct and you can leave your unfaithful partner, or you’ll learn how to communicate through trust issues or misunderstandings in a healthy and productive way.
Pretending like it doesn’t bother you or that it isn’t a problem will help neither of you.
Hope for the best, choose to trust, but verify through communication and observation.
With that being said, I hope this article provided some valuable information to you on why your boyfriend hides his phone. If you’d like to work with me directly, check out my service page for information on my email consultation package.