In this article, I’m going to provide a comprehensive answer to the following questions – why do I still think about my ex every day?
The reason why you still think about your ex every day is that you haven’t processed and let go of your feelings of attachment to your ex.
Furthermore, you haven’t designed a life for yourself that has added new experiences and goals that help you to move on.
For as long as you continue to hold yourself back from experiencing new things, you will continue to stay stuck in the past.
I understand how difficult it is to stop thinking about an ex when you feel stuck in life.
I’m a greatly sentimental person and I remember a time when I kept thinking about my ex months after breaking up.
At the time, I couldn’t figure out why I kept thinking about my ex everyday.
Thankfully, I was in the middle of pursuing a new avenue in my academic career and this forced me to step out of my comfort zone and enter a new environment.
During this time, I met a ton of new people and was forced to adopt a new routine in my life.
By the time I was neck-deep in this new routine, I had started to think more about other things and less about my ex.
This simple academic change became a catalyst of change for my romantic life.
What this led me to believe is that it is highly beneficial to embrace change after a breakup or else you’ll struggle to move on from an ex.
There are two changes you can make immediately that will help you to stop thinking about your ex in the future. These two changes are as follows:
In that order, you must put as much physical and digital distance between your ex and yourself to stop thinking about them.
At first, you may think about them all the time and feel extremely anxious or uncertain.
However, with time, the distance will start to grow into an emotional one and you’ll begin to think about your ex less and less.
Be that as it may, let’s explore some of the reasons why you still think about your ex every day before we talk about everything you can do to stop.
Related post: Is my ex over me?
Reasons why you’re still thinking about an ex
1. You’re still hung up on them
There’s absolutely no set time for how long it takes to stop caring or loving someone. Anyone who claims that they can help you to get over or move on from an ex in like 30 or 90 days is a liar.
Yes, there are things which you can do to speed up the process but it’s such an unpredictable thing which is why you shouldn’t rush the process.
For as long as you are still attached to your ex, it’s only natural to think about them.
After all, they were a part of your life for a significant period of time and so it’s only expected that you’d need more time to move on.
2. You haven’t removed them from your social media
By keeping your ex around on your social media accounts and apps, you are preventing yourself from cutting ties.
This means that the exposure to their life and updates will only feed into your feelings and investment in them.
What they say or do will add new stimuli to those feelings and cause you to think about them.
Like a drug addict, you have to assume that any exposure to drugs during the early phases of a detox will cause you to fixate on them and possibly relapse.
Related post: Should I wish my ex a happy birthday?
3. You still have reminders of them around you
Photos, videos, messages, gifts and so forth that remind you of an ex will obviously play a role in why you think about them every day.
Normally, I advise people to move those things away for some time until you’re strong enough to deal with those reminders.
I’m a very sentimental person and this stuff absolutely affects me. It’s not going to make a huge difference because the problem isn’t that you have reminders of your ex but that you’re still attached to them.
But, it helps to facilitate the healing process to move on and stop thinking about them.
When you finally start to get over your ex, the last thing you want to do is give yourself reminders of how special they were.
4. You haven’t changed much in your life
Think about this – if the only thing that has changed in your life is your relationship status, then wouldn’t you focus on that one new development?
Everything else is the same so it’s predictable.
You wouldn’t need to think about it because you’re so accustomed to your lifestyle.
So, from this, we can deduce that by adding more change into your life that challenges you, it would provide an alternate situation to focus on!
But, most of us tend to resign into comfort and familiarity when we are faced with a breakup.
That, in and of itself, could be part of the problem why you think about your ex everyday.
5. It hasn’t been long enough since the breakup
A breakup that has taken place within the last 3 months is what I would consider fresh and recent. During this time period, it’s completely normal to think about your ex every day.
Granted, if you only dated someone for like a super short time then it would be slightly odd that you’re still fixating on them after months.
But, it’s quite expected and normal to be thinking about an ex whom you were in a relationship with less than 3 months ago.
Related post: How to stop missing your ex
How to stop thinking about your ex every day
1. Try new things regularly
The wonderful thing about embracing change is that it challenges you to grow as a person.
In the process of trying new things, you will grow as a person and make new memories that help you to focus on something other than your ex.
Over time, you would have made so many new memories and grown so much as a person that it wouldn’t even feel right to be thinking about your ex.
Make a list of 100 things to do, be or become and use this as a tool for challenging yourself to try new things.
2. Change your routine
Understandably, it might not be feasible or logistically possible to change everything in your life right now or to try exciting new things so instead, I suggest making alterations in your routine.
When I went through my last breakup, I started changing my routine like waking up earlier to write, I would go for coffee somewhere out of the house and I decided to exercise in the evening.
I took new routes home and started visiting different locations on my days off.
Over time, this change in my routine helped me to think about my ex less and gave me some control over my life.
Try to make small but significant changes to your routine and stick to them for a while.
Related post: How to stop thinking about him
3. Socialize with your friends and family more often
Given that you have all of this love and affection that cannot be directed to your ex, have you considered directing it at friends and family?
These are the people who will always love you and be by your side no matter what.
By focusing on them, not only would they provide a support structure for you to heal from this breakup but you can actually develop a deeper bond and connection with them.
You may not want to at first but it’s important that you don’t allow yourself to resign into a cave of despair.
4. Take the time that is needed to heal
One of the best ways to get over hardship is to get through it.
In other words, don’t run from the pain but feel it.
Honestly, I would go so far as to compare it to exercising. Working out is hard and painful but it brings about amazing change in your life.
Endure the pain for a while and eventually, your body will strengthen until it doesn’t hurt as much and you’ll look so much better.
Similarly, enduring and experiencing this pain and slight obsession over your ex is a part of the healing process.
Once you go through it and realize that it can’t kill you and that life goes on, it will free you.
That’s when you will gain some control over yourself again and this problem won’t be so time-consuming or difficult to manage.
Related post: How to let go of someone you love dearly
5. Meet new people
I’m not talking about dating, I’m talking about putting yourself out into society to cultivate new business and social relationships.
It’s in our nature to come together with other people. Yes, time alone is essential but at a certain point, human interaction becomes pivotal for happiness and growth.
What I’ve found is that interacting with new people often occupied my mind in the moment that I was able to distract myself from focusing on my ex.
At the same time, I gained some confidence by learning how to build rapport with strangers and fine-tuned my communication skills in the process.
6. Block them from social media
You don’t have any control over what your ex will share on social media which means that you can set yourself up for a ton of turmoil by keeping them around.
If you end up seeing your ex flirting with someone else or jumping into a new relationship, it’s going to set you back and upset you.
Avoid all of that by simply blocking them or removing them from social media.
Obviously, you don’t have to do this if it’s not something that bothers you.
But, you’re amongst those people who tend to spend a lot of time looking at their ex’s social media, it would be a good idea to get rid of them or to leave those sites for a while until you are more in control of your feelings and thoughts.
Related post: Should I block my ex on social media?
7. Remove reminders of them
The best thing to do with photos, videos, messages and gifts is to just pack or store them away out of sight until enough time has elapsed.
If you cling to these reminders of them, it will only make you feel nostalgic and you’re constantly going to be thinking about your ex every day.
Eventually, when you’ve moved on with your life, you can think about looking at those reminders again or you can just get rid of them altogether.
8. Start dating
If you have been thinking about your ex every day and it has been absolutely ages since the breakup, it might just be a case of you feeling lonely and desiring some love in your life.
And since you’re not dating, you’re thinking about the last person whom you shared a connection with.
It might be time to start dating casually and trying to find love again.
Don’t get me wrong, I would never encourage you to date someone else to forget an ex.
That won’t work which is why rebound relationships fail.
This strictly applies to the case of someone who has been single for a long time and their thoughts of an ex is actually just a symptom of loneliness or wanting to find love again.
Related post: Does a rebound make you forget your ex?
It may take some time to move on from your ex but I promise you that the advice in this article will help speed up the process.
Don’t be so hard on yourself during this time. The majority of people experience this symptom of heartbreak after the end of a relationship.
Give it some time and keep your distance from your ex. This will help you to move on and stop thinking about them every day.
With that being said, I really hope this article on ‘why do I still think about my ex every day?’ was insightful. If you would like personalized email coaching to get over an ex, feel free to check out my services page for more information.