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Why Do I Catch Feelings So Fast? (13 Reasons & 6 Solutions)

why do I catch feelings so fast

Catching feelings for someone is a beautiful experience. It lights up your life and makes everything appear to be sweeter and nicer. But, it can actually be a problem if you catch feelings so fast that it scares people off or encourages you to be with people who are terrible for you.

For this reason, it is important that you familiarize yourself with all the possible reasons why you catch feelings so fast.

Once you are able to pinpoint the reasons why this happens, you can move on to the solutions for this problem, which are covered below.

Without wasting any time whatsoever, let’s get started.

You need to read this article: You’ll find love when you stop looking for it

Reasons Why You Catch Feelings So Fast 

reasons why you catch feelings so fast

1. You’re desperate for love.

Desperation is unattractive. 

As much as we all desire to love and be loved, we must remain detached from the expectation of love to behave in a manner that nurtures love.

Most men and women do not value things or the people who chase them. 

Think about it for a moment.

In order to obtain or enjoy anything of value in this world, some effort is required. 

If you want to have muscles, you need to work out. If you want to build wealth by yourself, you need to work at a job, create a product or build a business. If you want to win a competition, you must beat the game and other competitors.

That’s the nature of value.

One valuable thing requires a mutual exchange of value in some form or another.

That’s what makes something valuable.

Most people who are desperate for love tend to chase others and give themselves to others without any mutual exchange of effort and investment.

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So, what they have to offer comes across as cheap or of low value. 

Also, when you are desperate for love, you’ll be willing to accept it from anyone. This would explain why you catch feelings so fast. All they have to do is be nice or kind to you and that will be enough for you to catch feelings.

You need to read this article: What should I do if I want a relationship and he doesn’t

2. You struggle with codependency.

Codependency is defined as an unhealthy emotional need for or reliance on a partner. In real life, I would describe it as an unhealthy need to feel needed. Your ability to function as a person relies on having a certain type of relationship.

The issue with codependency is in its definition. 

One should not be in a romantic relationship because one needs it.

Yes, to some degree, we all need relationships and love but I feel like romantic relationships are the one exception to the rule.

It’s the only form of love that should be acquired or nurtured as a want or desire.

A codependent person often feels empty without a certain relationship. In other words, they’re trying to fill a void with someone else.

That’s when love becomes an unhealthy need.

But, if you were to focus all your attention and effort towards providing for yourself in every kind of way, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll need a codependent relationship to function.

At that point, romantic love becomes a want instead of a need.

It just so happens that relationships formed in this fulfilled state happen to be the healthiest and longest-lasting relationships.

While in a state of codependency, you are going to catch feelings so fast because your need for romantic love supersedes most of your other needs.

Furthermore, codependent lovers usually are attracted to each other over shared trauma or emptiness.

Believe me when I tell you that there are plenty of people out there who are battling inner demons.

You’re going to cross paths with many people who tick the boxes for your codependency and that is why you catch feelings so fast.

You need to read this article: How do I stop putting so much effort into a relationship?

3. You’re ready for love.

There’s a possibility that if you have been working on yourself for a long time and your life is progressing at a pace that is fulfilling, you may just be ready for love.

At some point, you have to be.

You can’t always be in a state of dissatisfaction nor will you always be unready for love.

There will come a point where you’ve done everything you need to do as a single person. You’ve taken the time to heal old wounds, you’ve invested time in your character and you’ve designed a life for yourself that is taking shape.

You may just be at a point in your life that prepares you for love and that desire has flared up.

You’re just enthusiastic about love and in your excitement, you tend to develop feelings faster than you ordinarily would.

Perhaps, you’re so happy and positive right now that you can’t help but look for the good in other people, which makes it a lot easier to catch feelings for them, even if it’s misguided.

4. You are extremely gullible.

Initially, I titled this section as being extremely “trusting” but I realized that there’s nothing wrong with being trusting.

In fact, our default position should be to trust that others are going to be honorable, kind and dignified. 

We are to be observant of their behavior and if we are wrong or if they prove us wrong, then we no longer have to trust them or continue to be with them.

Being gullible is different.

A gullible person is typically unobservant or easily convinced to doubt their own perception of reality.

The issue with being gullible is that you might ignore warning signs or you are susceptible to being duped. 

You will catch feelings so quickly because you aren’t vigilant enough to notice when someone isn’t who they claim to be.

5. You’re afraid of loneliness.

It is said that if you cannot tolerate being by yourself, you are in bad company.

What does that mean?

Why is loneliness so painful and destructive to some?

I have a theory about loneliness based on certain periods of my life.

I could not handle being single in my early 20s.

If I was not in a relationship, I was in a situationship. If I was not in a situationship, I was talking to multiple women. 

It dawned on me much later on but the reason why I kept catching feelings so fast is because I could not be alone.

Loneliness was painful because it left me with little to no distractions.

All I could do was think about myself, my past and my life whenever I was alone.

All my insecurities, fears and regrets would surface and it left me feeling anxious, depressed or simply sad. 

The solution to this problem isn’t to surround yourself with more people. 

On the contrary, it is to remain alone for a while until you make peace with yourself. 

If you can be alone and work on all the things that keep you up at night, I promise you, life will change for you in unbelievable ways.

But, it is absolutely true that people who cannot tolerate any form of loneliness tend to catch feelings faster than someone who can.

You need to read this article: Am I still in love with my ex or just lonely?

6. Your self-esteem is low.

All of us want to feel good about ourselves.

The right approach to developing a healthy self-esteem is through the accomplishment of tasks, goals and dreams.

But, some of us seek out our worth from the validation of people around us. 

We look for external acceptance and praise to believe that we are worth something. 

How ironic it is that being worth something is what provides acceptance and praise. 

To be worth something, you must indulge yourself religiously in the pursuit of self-actualization.

When you have low self-esteem, you are bound to catch feelings quickly because any kind of validation and acceptance will give you a sense of euphoria and self-acceptance. 

7. Your life is unfulfilling.

When people are unhappy in life, they often seek comfort in easy places.

This is why they turn to vices or distractions to escape the reality of their lives.

In fact, far more people are situationally depressed than clinically depressed in this day and age.

When they meet someone who makes them feel joy, comfort, or excitement, it serves as an escape from their daily lives, and they end up developing feelings quickly.

You need to read this article: How to be single and happy

8. Your default state is apathy.

Apathy is defined as a lack of interest, enthusiasm or concern. In other words, you feel nothing of significance. 

You’re never really happy nor are you really sad.

You’re just apathetic.

When apathy is your default state and you run into people who trigger some form of feeling in you, it’s only natural to accept that you’ll catch feelings for them.

It’s like coloring a black and white world.

Everything appears more beautiful, vibrant and lively.

That’s a common effect of romantic love and romantic feelings. It heightens your senses and changes your perception of everything around you.

I feel like apathy sets in when we give up on life.

In other words, we don’t pursue goals, we don’t seek out our purpose in life and everything we do is down to a routine.

Also, playing it safe and avoiding change often leads to apathy because you’re not exposing yourself to the elements of life that evoke feelings.

9. Your standards are low.

If you have low standards, there are viable options for love all over the place.

If all you’re looking for is a pretty face, you’ll find plenty of people who will make you catch feelings for them just by being in their presence.

Realistically, it makes more sense to have higher standards so that you can filter out all the people who are wrong, incompatible or unworthy of you.

10. You’ve struggled with abandonment issues.

The fear of abandonment often manifests in eagerness toward attachments. In other words, you latch on to someone really quickly because you’re afraid of losing them.

Being abandoned and going through a traumatic loss can make people feel unworthy of love.

It takes very little time for feelings to materialize when you come across someone who makes you feel loved and accepted.

At the same time, fear kicks in, which only furthers your emotional investment in the other person, even if you barely know them.

11. You have a lack of options.

When I was younger, I couldn’t stand the taste of vegetables. 

I avoided salads like the plague and it showed in my body.

I decided that it was time to make some healthy changes in my life and I discovered something called intermittent fasting.

This was back in 2013, if I’m not mistaken.

I gave it a try, and what surprised me was how much more enjoyable vegetables were by the end of each fast.

I craved them at certain times.

It dawned on me that the deprivation of food leads one to find joy and excitement in any form of food.

You don’t have the luxury of being selective when you are hungry or deprived.

Similarly, when you struggle to meet new people and you feel deprived of romantic options for an extended period of time, you’ll gravitate towards developing feelings for the few people who do cross your path.

When your options are limited, everyone who fits within that limitation becomes an option.

12. You’re mistaking physical attraction for love.

I can’t begin to tell you how prone men are to mistaking attraction or infatuation for love.

All they have to do is feel a strong physical attraction to a woman who shows some interest in  them and they’re “in love.”

When asked about what they like about her, their answers are devoid of substance.

Someone could be the most beautiful or most handsome person you’ve been with and they could be the evilest person you’ve met. They could be liars, cheaters, backstabbers and gold diggers who will ruin your life.

Never make the mistake of assuming that someone who looks good is a wonderful person or partner.

A lack of experience will usually cause this problem and you’ll catch feelings so fast for every good-looking person that gives you some attention.

13. You’re battling with immaturity.

It’s extremely difficult to know what to look for in a partner when you barely even understand who you are as a person.

Furthermore, you can’t know what you don’t know.

Immaturity doesn’t provide the luxury of wisdom that helps many people attract better-quality partners.

Only time, knowledge and experience can fix immaturity and until that happens, people will catch feelings so fast because they barely even understand what they’re feeling.

How To Stop Developing Feelings So Fast

how to stop developing feelings so fast

1. Build a life of substance.

When you are living a life of purpose and you are pursuing your mission with vigor and focus, it’s extremely difficult to be sitting around talking to people all the time.

More so than that, you will create joy, love and happiness in different areas of your life that may fill certain voids that have plagued you for years, if not decades.

To build a life of substance and meaning, you will be required to work hard, have a vision, be ambitious, challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone.

The level of growth and change that will occur is unfathomable.

In the process of growing, you’ll refine your taste in people and gain a clearer image of the type of person you want to be romantically involved with.

By that point, you won’t catch feelings so fast because you won’t be casting such a wide net for love.

Make a list of 100 things to do, be or become and work on that for the foreseeable future. My life has changed through simple activities like this.

2. Develop a healthier relationship with yourself.

True freedom and peace are attained when you learn to love yourself and the insecurities, loneliness, or anxiety brought on by loneliness fade away as a result of your labor.

You won’t feel the burning desire of desperation for love from someone else to make you feel complete or validated as a person, and your voids will fill up.

The process of self-actualization requires you to embrace some degree of loneliness.

It’s not an easy journey but it is a worthwhile journey.

Through suffering, most people attain immeasurable rewards, especially in character growth and mental fortitude.

Be kind to yourself. 

Use affirmations instead of judgments.

Abandon black and white thinking and live in the gray areas of life.

The best way to lessen self-criticism is by being gracious and understanding toward others.

Rethink beliefs that sabotage you and adopt a growth mindset.

3. Learn how to enjoy your own company.

As much as suffering is a core component of growth and self-actualization, there is also room for fun and enjoyment.

By embracing all parts of yourself and indulging in fun activities or hobbies with or without other people, the desire for love lessens because you are loving towards yourself.

You can’t expect to find love in others when you don’t even enjoy your own company.

Spend some time by yourself to do fun things.

Think of all the fun things you would like to do if you had a partner and go do them by yourself.

Create stories and experiences for yourself that can be shared with others.

When you get a taste for life as a single person, the need for love turns into a want.

Instead of catching feelings for just about anyone, you’ll narrow your focus to people who align with the kind of life you are living.

You need to read this article: How to cope with anxiety about being single

4. Be selective about who you want.

A simple way to stop catching feelings so fast is to narrow the search for who you would want to be with.

In other words, be extremely specific and detailed about the kind of person you are looking to be with.

From their physical appearance to their character and likes or dislikes, make a list of what you would love in a partner.

In fact, go so far as to make a list of the “green” and “red” flags in a partner and let that be your guiding light.

You’ll quickly realize that many people don’t check all of your boxes, and that’s fine.

Keep a reasonable list of non-negotiables with your partner.

That’s going to make you more selective and it’s going to be a lot harder to catch feelings too quickly going forward.

5. Pay attention to what people do and not just what they say.

There are people out there who are amazing at selling a story.

They are smooth talkers and know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. 

It’s easy to develop feelings for someone who knows how to get you hooked on every word they say.

But, you have to hold people accountable to weed out those who are all talk from those who are genuine.

A person’s words and actions must correlate before you open yourself up to being emotionally involved with them long-term.

If it’s not, you must be willing to hold them accountable.

This will filter out those people who are not honorable or reliable from your life and in turn, you will stop catching feelings so fast.

6. Practice emotional self-control regularly.

Don’t act or express every emotion without measuring it against your goals, values and morals.

Just because you like someone or enjoy their company doesn’t mean that you should abandon all logic and reasoning. 

Remain observant, take things slow and keep yourself in line when you feel like your emotions are getting activated uncontrollably.

This may require you to slow down the progression of something or it may require you to take a bit of time to center yourself.

That’s fine.

But, get in the habit of practicing emotional self-control and you will avoid catching feelings so fast.

I just want to emphasize that emotional self-control means making decisions based on your goals, values and morals rather than your emotions at the moment.

For example, just because you desire to eat a piece of chocolate cake doesn’t mean you should. If it will sabotage your goals and diet, then you should not eat it in spite of how much you desire it.

By doing this, you end up limiting the control that thing or person has over you at the moment.

Your emotional investment is significantly slowed down, which makes it simpler for you to maintain composure.

Final Thoughts

As much as it’s wonderful to experience love and romance, it has to be under the right circumstances and with the right people.

You run the risk of experiencing a great deal of heartbreak by catching feelings so fast. Also, you could end up scaring off someone who would have really liked you by coming on too strong and too quickly.

It’s important that you take the advice from this article and apply it to your life.

Learn the reasons why you fall in love so easily, and then take the necessary steps to change that or regulate how quickly you fall in love.

That’s all you need to do to fix this issue.

With that being said, I hope you found this article helpful, practical and insightful. If you would like my help with this issue or any other relationship problem, visit my services page for more information on my email coaching package.

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