There has only been one time in my life when I was in a situationship and it was when I had a ton of emotional baggage and I was not dealing with my commitment issues in a healthy way. I learnt a lot about myself during that time and I’m so glad to have grown out of it. Be that as it may, I know a lot of women want an answer to the following question, why do guys like situationships?
Guys like situationships because it’s the perfect way to enjoy the perks of a relationship without having to be committed, to be responsible, to have obligations for a future, to entertain other girls and to enjoy the chase indefinitely.
In other words, situationships guarantee that he gets to have fun without having to commit himself to you or a future with you.
The one who is at risk of wasting time and getting their heart broken is the person who actually wants a relationship and is in love.
If you go into a situationship expecting that it will naturally transition into a full relationship, I’m afraid that you are in for a big surprise because a lot of these situationships end poorly and with a ton of drama.
It’s best to have a conversation about your boundaries and expectations before agreeing to a situationship or you risk getting hurt and wasting a lot of your life on someone who may never commit to you.
With that being said, let’s discuss in detail why guys like situationships so you can get a proper understanding of what it means to guys and whether it’s something you can deal with.
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1. They can avoid commitment
When you’re dealing with men who are deathly afraid of commitment, you’ll find that they come up with the most creative excuses or arrangements to be with you without actually committing to the relationship.
This is not to say that they don’t care about you or that they have plans of being with other girls but it’s definitely something that creeps up with men who are afraid of committing to a serious relationship.
Whether it’s due to past trauma or something that has been affecting him since childhood, commitment issues are not something that disappears without effort and work on his end.
Men who want to avoid the fear of commitment and the work involved in overcoming this fear will often opt for situationships because they like the non-committal aspect of it.
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2. It comes with less responsibilities
Let’s be honest with ourselves, relationships require work. You have a responsibility to uphold the sanctity of your relationship and the vows you make to your partner.
This means being aware of how your own decisions may make your partner feel.
This may seem stressful or scary to someone who wants to avoid responsibilities or who lacks a strong moral compass at this moment in time but to someone who is in love and values healthy relationships, responsibilities are a rewarding part of a relationship.
Knowing that you have someone amazing in your life who you care about enough to be responsible can feel amazing and beautiful.
But, you would only feel this way if you are ready for a relationship and responsibilities. If not, then this is something that would scare you.
In this case, the guys who feel this way are just not prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship but they still want the perks of it so they cultivate a situationship instead.
3. There’s no obligations for a future
Imagine getting all the perks of a relationship and the thrill of having romance without any obligation to stick around.
Imagine being able to leave whenever you want without having to face consequences or to feel guilty for wasting someone’s time because you can rely on the technicality of being in a situationship instead of a relationship.
If you had no intention of having a long term commitment but wanted to fill a void in your life by having someone in it without making any promises to them, you’d jump at this idea if you were someone looking to selfishly serve your own desires at the cost of someone else’s time, effort and emotions.
He has to be selfish or self absorbed to be in a situationship with someone knowing that they want a long term commitment but having no intention of being in one.
4. They’re able to entertain other girls without being labeled a cheater
When you’re not exclusively dating or in a relationship, there’s really no obligation on you to abide by the rules of a relationship.
What this means is that guys get to talk to other girls and even sleep around without being labeled as a cheater, all because he’s in a situationship with you.
This is how unfair it is to be in something like this with someone without making it explicitly clear what you’re comfortable with and uncomfortable with.
Here’s what I realize, the kind of men who want relationships and who would be right for you aren’t interested in a situationship.
They would not run for the hills at the sign of a commitment nor would they need to be with other women.
Granted, during the very early days of meeting someone, they could be talking to other people who they previously met.
But, once the two of you meet and things start to work or connect, it shouldn’t be a problem for someone who wants to be with you to distance themselves from other people they may have been talking to.
That’s the natural progression for something like this.
But, someone in a situationship may use this to their advantage and that’s the risk you take by not drawing boundaries.
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5. The ongoing tease is addictive
There are some men out there who are more fixated and intoxicated by the thrill of a chase than actually getting who or what they want.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that these men get bored once they enter a relationship and so they stick to situationships.
Trying to persuade a man like this into a relationship without him wanting it can lead to a ticking time bomb.
You want to avoid men who are addicted to the chase because they will self sabotage a wonderful relationship because it doesn’t have the same intensity as that of the courtship phase.
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It’s evident to me that situationships can be really appealing to the one who is looking to have fun without having to shoulder the expectations of a relationship.
But, it lacks the essence of companionship and thecloseness attributed to true love.
Whether you decide to be in a situationship is up to you but I strongly advise you to have a frank and open conversation with a guy before entering a situationship.
The last thing that I want you to do is agree to a situationship with the hope and expectation of it amounting to a relationship only to be strung along and dropped for someone else a year or two down the line.
It’s far better to wait for the right guy who will stick by your side in every situation than to settle for a guy who is only present under the right situation.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on “why do guys like situationships” to be eye-opening and helpful. If you have any question or thoughts that you would like to share with me on this topic, please do so by visiting the comment section below to let me know.