If you have spent any significant amount of time texting someone or on dating apps, you would be all too familiar with ghosting. It is the act of suddenly disappearing from someone’s life without any explanation, particularly online. This begs the question, why do guys ghost girls?
From my analysis and experience, I’ve come to realize that guys ghost girls because they’re either afraid of rejecting them directly, they’re dating someone else, they want to avoid doing what’s righteous but difficult, they’re afraid of commitment or they’re afraid of drama and conflict.
A lot of these reasons are unjustifiable whereas others are. It really depends on the circumstances and the type of character he or she has.
Either way, ghosting has ramifications on people’s feelings, self esteem and mental health. You cannot pretend like it’s something that will never happen to you because at some point or another, it will.
When you’re prepared for it, at least with an understanding of why it happens, you could deal with some of the damage in a healthier way than if you were oblivious to why guys ghost girls.
On that note, I think it’s time for us to examine each of these reasons on why guys ghost girls in more detail.
1. They’re afraid of rejecting you directly
Rejection hurts and most of us are far too familiar with the effects of being declined. Even those with a great self esteem may experience some degree of hurt.
Most people prefer to take the easy route out of difficult situations. Even if our intentions are good, in this case to avoid hurting you, the method upon which we rely on often results in that which we intended not to do.
It’s easier to just avoid rejecting someone and to disappear by ghosting them.
- Does it make it less painful? No.
- Does it provide any closure? No.
- Is it a selfish thing to do? Absolutely.
And yet, guys ghost girls to avoid the discomfort associated with rejection.
In other words, to avoid feeling the pain of rejecting you, they will disappear and leave you in pain that they cannot see because that makes it easier for them to deal with it.
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2. They’re dating someone else
Of all the reasons why guys ghost girls, I think this might be one of the most selfish ones. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely agree and stand by the decision to commit to your partner once you enter into a relationship with them.
The right thing to do is to reject or inform anyone who may have thought you were interested in them and who have an active interest in you that there’s someone in your life who is your girlfriend and/or partner.
This is the morally correct and kind thing to do.
It avoids wasting their time while also honoring your relationship.
Unfortunately, not all guys are going to do this.
In fact, you probably had no idea that they were also seeing other people as well while getting to know you.
Instead of providing you with the closure that you may want, he’ll ghost you instead.
In all honesty, they’ll also ghost you because they don’t really care about the best way to approach this situation because they’re focused on their new relationship.
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3. They want to avoid doings what’s righteous but difficult
On one hand, rejecting someone or letting them know that you’ve moved on with someone else is a respectful thing to do for them.
On the other hand, it’s also a means of holding yourself accountable to do what’s right despite the difficulty you may face.
We all make choices in life and there’s always a consequence for each of these choices, whether we choose to acknowledge them or not.
In the acknowledgement, we find some discomfort and suffering but we gain respect from others for taking ownership of our choices and we gain respect for ourselves.
The thing is, some men are not actually interested in being righteous.
This may seem ludicrous to someone who can’t imagine themselves not caring about morals, ethics and values but to someone who places very little significance on these things, they don’t bother about consequences or what’s right.
This is the reason why guys ghost girls because they don’t care about the consequences of doing so.
They’re fixated on serving their own wants and needs, even at the expense of your feelings.
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4. They’re afraid of commitment
What I know about men who are afraid of commitment is this: They will never change unless they want to or are willing to work through their fears and insecurities.
The problem is that some of these abandonment or commitment issues stem from childhood and it’s been unaddressed this entire time.
Now, they’re adults with issues that have been ingrained for decades.
These issues don’t disappear in a few weeks. They take time and conscious effort to be overcome and conquered.
There’s a lot of work involved in evolution during adulthood and unfortunately, too many people are set in their ways and unwilling to change.
They would rather cyclically live out their days than break out of this pattern and enjoy relationships that last a long time.
So, when these guys start to feel threatened by the serious development of a relationship with girls, instead of dealing with it in a healthy and graceful manner, they run for the hills without warning.
That’s why you’ll find yourself constantly trying to figure out why he ghosted you when things were finally escalating into a serious and lovely relationship.
It became too real for him and that made him ghost you.
This is not a reflection of what you’re lacking but a reflection of who he is.
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5. They’re afraid of drama and conflict
Up until this point, I’ve focused primarily on the personality or mindset flaws that explain why guys ghost girls.
But, I would be remiss not to include the following explanation.
Some girls behave poorly. They are just as messed up as some men and invite a ton of drama, toxicity and issues into their own life as well as the lives of others.
They don’t know anything different.
Their perception of what is considered normal differs from that of mine or yours.
To them, frequent fighting, drama, conflict, betrayal and so forth are normal because it’s all that they have been exposed to.
So, when guys realize that this is what they have to offer, instead of sticking around they opt to ghost girls like this because they feel like there’s no other option available to them.
Trying anything else will only result in more drama and conflict so they opt to leave without a word or explanation.
Ghosting is a topic of much debate and discussion in this day and age but not without merit.
I think it’s important that we familiarize ourselves with it as much as possible so that we can avoid repeating the mistakes of the past while also preparing ourselves for possibly facing ghosting in the future.
In my opinion, the right type of guys for you are not the ones who are going to ghost you and come back.
What you’re looking for is a guy who has the morals and principles to do what’s difficult instead of what’s easy.
That’s the kind of man you can trust.
With that being said, I hope this article on “why do guys ghost girls” provides you with some closure and thought provoking explanations that help you to deal with this issue. If you have any questions or thoughts on this topic that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.