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Why Do Guys Always Go Back To Their Baby Mamas? (7 Shocking Reasons)

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Being involved with a single dad is complicated and not for the reasons you may think. It’s not having a child that complicates the situation. It’s the baby mama. It seems like there’s a popular opinion that men inevitably reconnect with their baby mama. So, this begs the question, why do guys always go back to their baby mamas?

It boils down to having a child together. This is the most meaningful milestone of any romantic relationship. It bonds you to each other forever, even if you split up. The history between them, their shared interest in raising their child to be happy, unresolved emotions and poor boundaries often lead guys to go back to their baby mamas.

The only time this isn’t much of a problem is when they have already split up, reconciled down the line and split up again.

The second or third attempt at being together that fails often answers any questions they may have had about possibly being romantically involved, aside from co-parenting. 

Once the relationship fails after reconciling, there’s a greater chance that they won’t try again in the future.

If their child is an adult, that tends to negate the issue of wanting to reconcile for the sake of providing a family unit for the child.

It’s mostly when the child is a toddler or in their early years that parents tend to reconcile after splitting up.

I’ve done some digging around, consulted with men and women, spoke to couples who share a baby together and put together this list of reasons and explanations as to why guys always go back to their baby mamas.

You need to read this article: Why do guys leave pregnant girlfriends?

Reasons Why Guys Go Back To Their Baby Mamas

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1. They’re forever bonded or tied to each other through their baby

I’ve been told by everyone who has ever had a baby that it’s something that changes you forever. 

Despite the nine months that precede labor, it always surprises new parents just how much changes once their baby arrives.

Suddenly, you’re no longer just a single entity going about your life. 

You’re now responsible for another life that is completely dependent on you.

The amount of love, joy, meaning, fear and anxiety experienced is unlike anything people experience in their life.

A man is not just bonded to this new person but also to his or her mother.

A breakup is never going to change the fact that you are tied to each other once you have a baby. 

Does that mean it’s impossible to emotionally move on from someone you’ve had a child with?

No.

But, unlike two people who can completely separate and never see each other again, that isn’t the case for two people who are committed to parenting.

Exposure to each other, shared interest in raising a child and regular communication make it easier for guys to go back to their baby mamas. 

It depends on the relationship they shared before and the relationship they have now as well as the reason for why they split up that determines whether there’s a strong likelihood that he will go back to her. 

Without strict boundaries, it’s difficult to navigate a situation like this.

You need to read this article: Will a man always love the mother of his child?

2. Having a family provides purpose to a lot of men

Not everyone is driven by career aspirations. Not everyone is fulfilled by pursuing a talent.

Purpose is subjective but it is instrumental in all of our lives.

The void that we feel is often mistaken for loneliness. In reality, it is a lack of meaning for our existence.

Unsurprisingly, caring for family and loved ones can fill this void.

Being of service to others is always a valuable experience.

It’s Godly to be of service to your loved ones and to people at large. 

Perhaps, when it appears to make little sense why a guy would always go back to his baby mama, it could be for an intangible reason like meaning. 

To be of service to his children and the woman who raises them could be what some men desire.

Being a family man can give someone a reason to live wholeheartedly.

And so, guys go back to their baby mamas for this reason. 

3. A history together encourages people who share a baby to reconcile

It’s hard to compete with someone who has a deep and rich history with their baby mama. It’s not impossible but it’s difficult, especially when there’s unfinished business between them as a couple.

What I find is that men who have recently split up with their ex are more prone to reconciling with their ex who is their baby mama than men who have been single and co-parenting for many years.

One of the reasons why rebound relationships fail is because people try to overwrite their past relationship with a new one.

In a desperate attempt to avoid the pain and discomfort associated with a breakup, they seek out a new source of comfort and validation.

Unfortunately, the hole in their heart is still sized in the shape of their ex and that past relationship memories and feelings always resurface again, especially if they weren’t dealt with.

Throw in a baby and that tether to the past relationship is even stronger which is why guys always go back to their baby mamas at some point.

4. They still love her

Up until now, we’ve touched on why guys always go back to their baby mamas with the emphasis being on having a baby together.

However, there are instances when two people are perfectly content with co-parenting. 

Their role as a parent is being fulfilled and he has full access to their child.

And yet, he may still return to the baby mama.

He goes back to her, not just because they have a baby together but because he still has romantic feelings for her.

At the end of the day, a romantic relationship that is healthy requires love, respect and attraction.

If all of those attributes are still present, guys will go back to their baby mama if she is willing to reconcile.

You need to read this article: The kind of girl guys regret losing

5. They believe that their baby mama is going to change

When you’re forced to leave someone who is toxic or addicted to something, there’s a small part of you that wonders about a narrative in which your ex-partner is better than they were.

Often, time apart diminishes the focus on all that went wrong and you’re left with nostalgia and sentimental thoughts.

If there’s any amount of love that exists for their baby mama, the perfect storm takes place when he starts to let go of the reasons for breaking up and focuses on his feelings of nostalgia and hope.

And if she were to make attempts to win him back, promising that things would be different and that she’s better now, it may be too tempting for him to resist another chance at being with her.

As much as women are known for being drawn to the idea of fixing a damaged man, the same could be said for a lot of men.

There’s an intrinsic desire to be the one who is special enough to help an uncontrollable person simmer down and choose love over chaos.

I’m sure the relationships that we are exposed to during childhood and the garbage that we are presented with from the entertainment industry influence our thought process in a manner that motivates us to tolerate this toxic ideology. 

You shouldn’t have to change anyone and you really can’t.

Not a single person is going to change unless they want to.

At most, you can be influential and one of the reasons why someone decides to reform but you can never be the sole reason.

6. They go back for financial reasons

When was the last time you spent time watching reality TV shows?

It’s been a while for me, given that YouTube is my go-to source of entertainment these days. 

But, recently I was relaxing in the lounge with my mother and she was flipping through the channels on the TV. 

It seemed random until she stopped on a channel that was showing courtroom reruns. 

I rolled my eyes thinking of how ridiculous it is that there are a hundred of these courtroom shows.

I thought about pulling out my phone to browse through my texts but I’m ashamed to admit that I got sucked into the show.

Since then, I’ve been hooked. 

It’s a guilty pleasure at this time but I was incredibly surprised by the number of judgments in favor of maintenance. 

Granted, it’s only right for a man to support his child. 

But it made me realize how expensive it is to be a parent.

Is it worth it? 

Absolutely.

Are there men who cannot afford to be fathers who are actually fathers?

Absolutely.

Furthermore, there are men who are not nearly as successful as their baby mamas. 

I actually know of such couples who are having extreme marital issues.

And it becomes abundantly clear that one of the reasons why the man sticks around or goes back to his baby mama is because he has it easy financially because of her.

You would be surprised by how many people are in marriages of convenience.

To avoid discomfort and financial destruction, they would go back to their ex-partner and remain together as a family, even without being in love with each other.

What would you do if you found yourself in this situation?

Please let me know in the comment section below. I’d love to hear your perspective on marriages of convenience.

7. They are incapable of being alone

Have you ever heard of codependency?

Well, as it turns out, I have a personal relationship with codependency and it sucks.

I’d attribute much of my relationship failures and romantic issues to codependency.

When you are so blinded by the need for someone, there’s no way for you to sufficiently and effectively develop a relationship with yourself.

Being alone hurts when you’re not in good company. 

Thankfully, I’ve put in the work to process and overcome my codependent issues but it required of me a great deal of self-awareness and suffering that I don’t think some people are willing to go through. 

There are men out there who have not worked on finding comfort in their own company.

Their sense of identity is always tied to having a partner.

Because it’s easier and more comforting to be with their baby mama than to be alone, these men always go back to their baby mamas.

People are complex creatures who are often motivated by multiple reasons. 

This could be the reason coupled with others that we have talked about above. 

You need to read this article: Will my ex come back after dating someone else?

Final Thoughts

I believe it’s possible to have a wholesome and fulfilling relationship with a man who already has a child with someone else but not without a lot of communication, respect and boundaries.

But, even with all of that on your side, there’s still always a chance that a guy will go back to his baby mama because of that bond and the shared experience of bringing a child into this world.

When entering a relationship with a man who has a child, you have to prepare yourself for certain realities and one of those realities is that he has a responsibility as a father to put his child first at times.

You have to deal with the fact that his ex-wife/partner will always be a factor in his life, even in a distant capacity.

If you’re not comfortable or happy dealing with this, that’s okay and you shouldn’t put yourself in a relationship without being able to give it a 100% of your best effort and energy.

At the end of the day, we really can’t stop people from leaving and going back to an ex.

That is why it’s important for us to vet people before we decide to commit ourselves to them.

If you’re dealing with a man who has unresolved emotions for his baby mama or an unhealthy relationship with her, it’s best to cut your losses and move on because there’s a good chance that it won’t end well for you.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on why guys always go back to their baby mama to be eye-opening and clear. If you have any questions or thoughts on this topic, please feel free to share them with me in the comment section below.

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