People can be quite unpredictable after a breakup. Some want to cut all ties while others battle with lingering feelings and a desire to stay in contact. Sometimes, an ex will leave their stuff behind with you and that can be quite confusing. In this article, I’m going to share the most plausible and common explanations as to why exes leave their stuff behind.
The reason why exes leave their stuff behind is to have a fake but plausible reason for contacting or seeing you again. It’s a subtle but smart way of keeping the doors of communication open for the future. It’s also another way of procrastinating the finality of a breakup.
There are some instances when an ex will leave stuff behind because it’s physically impossible to take everything they own from you right now.
They could have completely forgotten about the item they left behind or don’t really care for it all that much.
But, more often than not, if what your ex left behind is something of value, even sentimentally, that’s because they want to have an excuse to get in contact again.
Apart from sentimental items, they may leave behind something of use like a laptop or things of that nature.
What matters more than why they leave things behind is the interaction that occurs when they come over to collect their stuff.
If they seem to be distant and to the point, then they genuinely just came to collect their item. But, if they seem kind of emotional, curious and overly chatty, it might be that they’re trying to elicit some kind of response or reaction from you.
What that could be will depend entirely on the circumstances around your breakup and what they’re thinking.
Be that as it may, let’s take a closer look into all the reasons why exes leave their stuff behind.
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1. They need an excuse to contact you
The most popular classic reason why exes leave their stuff behind is so that they have an excuse to contact or see you again.
You see, being too obvious about their intentions of wanting to see you again may hurt their ego, pride or dignity.
The only way they know how to keep the door of communication open is by having a valid and plausible reason for getting in contact.
So, when they feel like enough time has passed or when they miss you, they’ll reach out about this item that they supposedly left behind.
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2. They forget about the stuff they left behind
Breakups are hard and so is moving out from a place you spent a significant amount of time living in.
People are not thinking with the clearest of minds and are unable to think of everything they need to do or take with them.
Given that it’s such an emotional and difficult thing to go through, it’s only natural for a person to forget about a few things.
This is one of those reasonable explanations that has no motive behind it.
Your ex isn’t trying to get in contact because they miss you or want to find out what you’ve been doing. They forgot about the item.
It’s as simple as that.
3. They don’t care about those things
Perhaps they don’t really care about the stuff they left behind because it’s unimportant or not worth taking.
In such a case, they may never contact you about it and even refuse to pick it up if you contact them about it.
If they don’t care about it, there’s really no need for them to really bother taking it or even remembering to do so.
4. They want you to have the stuff they left behind
Another valid explanation as to why exes leave stuff behind is because they feel like it belongs to you or should stay with you.
Like I said, breakups are difficult and emotions play a big factor in people’s decisions afterward.
What you may find is that when you bring it up with your ex, they may tell you to just keep it because it belongs to you or should belong to you.
I think this can further be perpetuated by a decision of moving to a different place.
Your ex who has relocated may want to start over and wants to leave those things with you, where they feel it belongs.
5. They’re delaying the finality of your breakdown
There will be some occasions when an ex knows that they left stuff behind, didn’t do it on purpose but can’t bring themselves to collect their stuff because of how final it makes the breakup.
Until your ex is ready to accept the end of the relationship, there’s a strong possibility that they will procrastinate at collecting their stuff.
Even if you reach out or offer to mail it to them, they’ll make some excuse or another that will often result in those things remaining in your position for the foreseeable future.
Related post: 12 Telltale signs someone is missing you
I think it’s safe to say that when exes leave their stuff behind, it could be due to their desire to communicate with you again or for other reasons that are unrelated to a desire to be with you.
They could have forgotten about it, chose to leave it behind for you or simply want to avoid collecting that stuff to avoid facing reality just yet.
Either way, I wouldn’t spend too much time fixating on this.
Instead, it would be more productive for you to focus on moving on with your life and assuming that there’s no ulterior motive for why they left stuff behind.
Do your duty of reaching out to inquire about this stuff when you are ready to do so. Otherwise, carry on with your life.
Now is the time to prioritize self care and healing.
A breakup is a huge change and you need to be prepared to deal with the aftermath, especially regarding your own emotions.
With that being said, I hope this article on why do exes leave their stuff behind provided you with satisfactory explanations for why this occurs. Feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below and I’ll reply to you as soon as possible.
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