Despite having good intentions and wanting to be responsible, you often let yourself and people down. This leaves you feeling defeated and embarrassed, especially when people call you out. Now, you’re contemplating the following question, why am I unreliable?
The reason why you are unreliable is that you don’t comprehend the sanctity of a promise and keeping your word. Your lack of prioritization is another factor that affects your ability to be reliable and dependable.
More often than not, being unreliable to others is a progression of a bigger problem.
If you look back at the times you’ve made a promise to yourself, how many times have you failed to keep that promise?
That’s an important question to reflect on because what I’ve noticed in myself from my early 20s is that I often let myself down.
It started with simple failures like not sticking to a new year’s resolution or not preparing for an exam as I was supposed to.
Instead of prioritizing what was important, like the commitments and promises I made to myself, I abandoned those for instant gratification and laziness.
So, the first main reason why you are unreliable is that you don’t fulfill the promises you make to yourself.
When you fail to hold yourself accountable for not keeping the promise you make to yourself, it extends outwardly.
The natural and predictable progression is that you start to let down those around you.
Another reason why you’re unreliable is that you have allowed yourself to break your promises or perform poorly without repercussions that truly affect you deeply.
The more you do something, the easier it becomes and the more frequently you may do it.
When you’re constantly letting yourself and others down, it becomes easier to do so.
You start to forget the sanctity of a promise and this can have detrimental effects on your character and life.
So, just because someone else let you off the hook for not showing up or keeping your word doesn’t mean you get a free pass.
You absolutely have to take responsibility for your actions, make amends and commit to being better.
With that being said, let’s talk about ways in which you can start to be reliable.
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Step 1 – Take ownership of your failures
For as long as you make excuses for being unreliable, you’ll never truly make any changes that are long-lasting.
What you need to remind yourself constantly is that being unreliable doesn’t just affect others, it affects you too.
And it’s not okay to let yourself and other people down.
Everyone ought to subscribe to a code that encourages us to prioritize what’s important over what we desire.
I’m not trying to tarnish the desire for gratification but what takes priority over your wants are your needs.
If keeping your word and upholding your commitments is a need, it should take precedence over your wants.
Going forward, you have to stop justifying your poor decisions.
Don’t look for an escape route from shame and regret. Instead, take ownership, experience the disappointment and transform those feelings into motivation to improve yourself.
Additionally, make up for where you have failed.
For example, if you cheat on your diet, don’t pretend as if it never happened and don’t abandon your plans either.
Instead, account for your mistake, put in extra work to make up for your failure and earn back your own trust.
By doing this, you don’t ever get to escape your responsibility to be reliable.
I want you to remember something extremely important – your past does not define who you have to be today or tomorrow.
In other words, just because you were unreliable before, doesn’t mean you have to be in the future.
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Step 2 – Change your habits and stop relying on your memory
“Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.“
Taking ownership and apologizing for being unreliable may be the first step to making amends and changing yourself but it’s not enough.
Words alone don’t make up for actions.
You must be willing to improve yourself by changing your mindset and purging unhealthy and irresponsible habits from your life.
That’s how you completely make up for your mistakes. Weaponize your words by taking action on your resolutions.
Don’t worry about how you’ve been in the past. What truly counts is who you are going to be in the future.
- If you’re always late, start arriving earlier than originally intended.
- If you’re always missing deadlines, start and finish the project a day before it’s due.
- If you break a promise, recommit and prove it by never making that mistake again.
- If you make plans, drop what you’re doing to show up or call and cancel way in advance whilst offering a rescheduling at the convenience of the other individual.
In making all these changes, you will be forced to make some sacrifices in your life, especially from the amount of time you spend on relaxation, pampering and entertainment.
But, that’s a small price to pay compared to the wonderful rewards you’ll receive from honoring all your commitments and being a trustworthy individual.
Make a note of all your commitments and promises. My phone’s home screen has a widget with a list of all my notes.
Given that I glance at my phone hundreds of times per day, it’s extremely difficult for me to have the excuse that I forgot to do something.
This keeps me constantly aware of my commitments and responsibilities.
These simple daily hacks can make a huge difference in the way you act on a daily basis.
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Step 3 – Build momentum
Every single goal, habit, resolution or even addiction benefits from momentum.
It really boils down to a simple math formula : 1+1 = 2.
As long as you continue to add to that equation, the result will increase and improve.
This is known as the cumulative effect.
The more you practice something, the more results accumulate.
If a single action cannot generate visible results, an accumulation of single results will create enough small results that they add up together and become visible.
Additionally, the more times you do something, the easier it becomes to do it because the momentum shifts in your favor.
In other words, after exerting all your effort to turn the peddles of a bicycle to gain speed, eventually, the speed itself will help you to turn the peddles and you can exert less effort.
For each commitment or promise you keep via active effort, the easier it is to be reliable.
In time, the momentum of action will make you reliable without having to consciously think about it.
But, you first have to realign your values and focus on becoming someone who consciously and constantly makes an effort to not be unreliable.
Being reliable requires you to be hardworking
Prioritizing, sacrificing, multi-tasking and consistency are all requirements for being reliable. The one thing that they all have in common is the need for hard work.
Without being able to engage in hard work, you’ll often find yourself struggling to do whatever it takes to stop being unreliable.
And that’s something I feel like you need to mentally prepare for.
Most of us don’t realize that hard work is majorly dependent on mental fortitude.
David Goggins believes that when we ordinarily get tired from any activity, we’ve only exhausted 40% of our true capabilities.
This is known as the 40% rule coined by the Navy Seal himself.
To tap into the remaining 60% of what you’re capable of doing, you must take control of your mind and focus it on working hard despite pain, doubt, anxiety, laziness and fear.
Unfortunately, nothing you read in this article or in any article, video or book will teach you how to be hard working.
That can only be mastered through daily action.
You will have to try and even fail every single day until you master the art of working hard.
To do something hard, it must be challenging.
But, in the process of mastering the art of working hard, you’ll master your mind and yourself.
Once you have control over yourself, everything will start falling into place.
Even if things outside of your control go wrong or end up challenging you, the way you show up and work will always remain something within your control.
And the wonderful thing about having self-control is that it can dig you out of the deepest pile of crap you may find yourself in.
So, to summarize – why am I unreliable? The reason why you are unreliable is that you don’t comprehend the sanctity of a promise and you lack prioritization skills which prevent you from being reliable.
Even though this is difficult to take in, nothing about that explanation inhibits you from becoming someone who is absolutely reliable and trustworthy.
If you want to know how to become reliable, follow this 3 step process obsessively.
Step 1 – Take ownership of your failures.
Step 2 – Change your habits and stop relying on your memory.
Step 3 – Build momentum.
Work hard and be consistent throughout this entire process.
Commit to becoming the best version of yourself and I promise you, being reliable will come naturally to you in the future.
With that being said, I hope this article provided you with all the essential tools on how to be reliable. Feel free to drop your thoughts or questions in the comment section below and I’ll be sure to reply.