Knowing exactly when to stop pursuing her can save you from rejection and embarrassment. It also prevents you from coming across as weak, desperate and unattractive.
Far too many guys are under the misconception that chasing a girl improves their chances of winning her over. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
My years of experiencing and coaching has taught me one valuable principle in life – high value people never chase.
Prizes don’t chase people, people chase prizes.
And if you view yourself as a winning prize, someone of such a high value that you deserve to be with a great girl, then you shouldn’t be chasing or pursuing a girl when she acts uninterested, stuck up, rude, disrespectful and so forth.
Be that as it may, pursuing something or someone is a part of life. But, when it comes to romance, it is usually subtle and highly attractive when done correctly.
But that’s a topic for another day.
In this article, we need to touch on the complete list of scenarios of when to stop pursuing her.
If you want to save yourself from embarrassment or salvage the situation with this girl, you need to familiarize yourself with the list below.
1. When she rejects you
In life, rejection is usually not a good enough reason to walk away.
If anything, many people persevere through rejection with undying belief. However, that’s usually not a good strategy for dating.
There’s a fine line between someone playing hard to get and actual rejection.
The former can be overcome with time and effort whereas the latter dictates the opposite approach.
Why should you stop pursuing a woman if she rejects you?
Well, for one, she’s not interested so stop badgering her. Secondly, you come off as desperate and weak. Thirdly, you destroy any sliver of attraction she might have left for you.
If you get rejected, immediately stop pursuing her.
2. When she starts to be distant or less available
If someone initiates distance, don’t be the one trying to close it. Usually, that indicates a desire to be away from you due to any number of reasons.
In such a case, the most effective way to win back their attention is to remove yours as well.
Not pursuing a girl when she is suddenly distant and less available sends a message to her that you aren’t desperate.
Furthermore, your dignity stays in tact and so does your self respect.
You deserve to be spending your time with people who want to be around you. Someone who recognizes their own self-worth and value understands this concept.
3. When she tries to friendzone you
I see far too many guys complaining about being stuck in the friendzone and it makes me cringe because if you know anything about attraction, you shouldn’t be in that situation.
The moment a girl tries to drop the friendzone card on you, that’s when you have to opt out of the situation.
Agreeing to be friends when you are romantically interested in someone is not just weak but a turn-off. It’s fake.
You’re in a fake friendship and she knows it too.
But because you’re so desperate to be with her, you’re agreeing to fake a friendship.
It’s the most counterproductive thing to do.
You’re wasting precious time, energy and effort on a situation that will only blow up in your face.
4. When she treats you poorly
You only get what you negotiate for in life.
If someone treats you poorly and you reward that behavior with your time and attention, then you have disrespected yourself immensely.
Don’t undermine and undervalue your own worth by gifting your time to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
They’ll continue treating you like trash because there’s no consequences.
You remove consequence from the situation when you refuse to walk away from bad behavior.
5. When you’ve come on too strong
During the early phases of courtship, less is truly more.
Put in too much effort to win a girl and you’ll find that she doesn’t react the way you expect. Unless she already has a really high level of attraction and interest in you.
Over-pursuing is one of the top reasons why so many guys can’t get a girlfriend.
There are a time and place for everything but this isn’t it. Women develop feelings for men when they are with you and when they are without you.
During the time when you two aren’t talking or seeing each other, that’s when she has time to think about you which can lead to missing you.
When someone misses you, they will reach out to spend time together.
Coming on too strong and over pursuing removes that block of time for her to miss you. That’s going to work against you.
6. When you feel desperate to win her affection
I remember a time when I was desperately searching to buy my first car and it was a disaster.
My desperation often led me to view cars that were absolutely trash. It turned out to be a waste of time, energy and money.
I came extremely close to being robbed one time as well. Why? Because I was too desperate.
It clouded my judgment and motivated me to ignore glaring red flags.
The same can be said for pursuing a woman when you feel desperate to win her affection.
You will say and do things that are off-putting and damaging to your image. What’s sad is that under normal circumstances, you probably wouldn’t make such mistakes.
If a feeling of desperation overcomes you, then it’s time to back off because you are entering deadly waters.
7. When she hasn’t replied to your texts or calls
Either she’s genuinely busy or she just doesn’t want to talk to you. Whichever it may be, the most appropriate reaction is to stop pursuing.
If you continue reaching out, she will view you as desperate. And that is an instant attraction killer.
Once you’ve reached out, wait for her to reply in kind. If you want to reach out again, wait some time and then you can double text. Thereafter, don’t do anything.
Wait for her to contact you again. This time away could also undo some damage that could have possibly occurred.
8. When she stands you up
As far as I’m concerned, being stood up without a decent apology and explanation is rude and unbecoming
You deserve someone who can prioritize you to some extent.
I would advise you against getting butt hurt and lashing out. That’s unhealthy.
You can express disappointment or annoyance but more than anything, maintain the standard of treatment you will only accept.
If she stands you up on more than one occasion, you need to stop pursuing this girl altogether.
9. When she starts showing an interest in another guy
At this point, pursuing her will just drive her into his arms, especially if he isn’t messing up.
You can’t win her over by talking smack about this guy or chasing her. It won’t work. Her eyes are fixed on someone else so the best bet you have is to stop pursuing.
Focus your attention and efforts on dating other people.
If or when things with the other guy fail, that’s when you can consider getting back in the game with her.
Otherwise, eliminate all pursuit.
10. When she starts to pursue you
This is a good one. If a girl starts to pursue you, it means that you’ve done enough to win her affection and interest. More importantly, it’s an indicator of high attraction for you.
At this point, there’s really no need for you to pursue her.
You have to fill the shoes of the pursued. Make time to see her, give her attention and focus on having a great time.
By doing this, you are essentially rewarding a particular type of action.
Now, she knows that pursuing you leads to happiness and excitement.
She’ll keep doing it until the two of your are in an amazing and awesome relationship.
Slow and steady wins the race
Let romance stew over time.
Be patient with it and you’ll drastically improve your chances of getting the girl.
Take comfort in the fact that now you can preserve your dignity and self-respect when you run into one of the abovementioned scenarios.
I hope you found this article to be of some help to you. Let me now what your thoughts are in the comment section below.
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