Being in a relationship with an avoidant partner feels like a rollercoaster ride. Things can be moving smoothly and easily until they aren’t, and you’re falling to the ground at an upsetting and traumatic speed. You could try to make things work, but it may not help. In this article, I’m going to break down when to leave an avoidant partner.
Simply put, when you’ve had enough and are miserable with an avoidant partner, it’s time to end the relationship and leave them. You should never be in a relationship with an avoidant partner who causes you undue suffering and pain.
You will never grow or thrive as an individual if you are in a relationship that is diminishing you and sucking the joy out of your life.
As much as you may love the avoidant, you deserve to be with someone who brings your heart peace and security.
But, I understand that it is in our nature to fight for what and who we love. So, I encourage you to do whatever you can to save your relationship with an avoidant partner. If your attempts fail, then it’s time to take a hard look at when to leave an avoidant partner.
You need to read this article: Why do avoidants ghost?
When You Should End A Relationship With An Avoidant Partner
1. When they stop making an effort to communicate
Can we all agree that communication is vital for a relationship?
Can we also agree that we should not have to force our partner’s to communicate?
Make as many attempts as you must, but when an avoidant shuts down completely and stops communicating through their issues frequently, it might be best to leave an avoidant partner.
When you’re in a relationship with an avoidant, communication serves the purpose of nurturing the bond you share with each other and as a coping mechanism when the avoidant experiences feelings of anxiety, fear, and stress.
Feeling isolated is something you will experience with a partner who stops communicating.
Even if you want to save the relationship, you can’t unless the other person is willing to talk about their feelings and the relationship.
You need to read this article: How to make an avoidant ex miss you.
2. When they push you away no matter what you do
For how long do you plan to extend yourself to an avoidant partner who is choosing to push you away?
Not only is it ungrateful but it’s also highly disrespectful to you when an avoidant ignores all your attempts to help them through their issues.
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When you begin to feel as if you are unworthy of their love or that what you do isn’t enough, that’s when it’s high time you leave an avoidant partner.
In a romantic relationship, your partner has one duty and that is to give love.
It is not loving to make your partner feel as if they are not good enough for your love when they are doing everything in their power to help you and to serve the relationship.
Don’t undermine the value of your presence and worth by remaining with an avoidant who doesn’t care to recognize your efforts.
More importantly, leave an avoidant partner who makes you feel like nothing you do is good enough for their love.
You need to read this article: What to do when an avoidant pushes you away.
3. When they have given up on the relationship
As soon as an avoidant taps out of the relationship, there’s nothing you can do to change things.
In fact, one could argue that your effort will simply drive them further away from you.
More love and more attention isn’t the solution with an avoidant who has chosen to give up on a relationship.
It’s simply devaluing and undermining the worth of your love and attention.
I’ve come to realize that for love to persist, respect must exist.
Would you say that it is respectful to give your love, effort and attention to someone who has chosen not to value it?
It isn’t.
So, to preserve your self-respect and dignity, it is best to leave an avoidant partner who doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore.
You need to read this article: What happens when you stop chasing an avoidant.
4. When the relationship causes you more pain than peace
To have a wonderful life with your partner, it is of utmost importance to prioritize peace over anything else.
Your heart should feel at ease in the presence of your partner.
Their behavior and attitude towards the relationship should provide you with security and comfort.
Don’t be in a relationship that is continuously tumultuous.
I know that there are a lot of genuine people who see potential in others. They look beyond damage or flaws.
To an extent, that is something we should all strive for.
Giving someone a chance at love is never something that should be frowned upon or avoided.
But, when that chance is squandered and you are subjected to behavior that diminishes you as a person, it’s best to leave that relationship.
Believe me when I tell you that it is possible to leave an avoidant partner with love and respect.
At the end of the day, you owe it to yourself to create a life and relationship that serves you and enriches you.
Being with someone who only hurts and upsets you is unfair to you.
You need to read this article: How to end the fearful avoidant chase.
5. When they withhold love frequently
You should never be with someone who withholds love unfairly.
Unless you are being unreasonable or toxic, there’s absolutely no reason for your partner to withhold love and support from you.
It’s one thing to be avoidant but it’s another thing to subject someone to unfair suffering and punishment because you can’t get your way.
When an avoidant doesn’t want to do something reasonable and they withhold love to force you to cave and submit to their avoidant feelings, you should leave that avoidant partner.
The entire purpose of a relationship is to give love to each other.
By withholding love for selfish and unreasonable reasons, they are going against the very purpose and nature of a romantic relationship.
Being with that person in that relationship will only empty you of love and drain you of your life energy.
You need to read this article: Do avoidants regret breaking up?
Final Thoughts
I know that it is incredibly difficult and painful to walk away from someone you love and want to be with.
But, at a certain point, you have to prioritize your happiness, well being, future and your dignity.
I’m sure that you have made it abundantly clear to the avoidant that you love them and want to be with them.
You’ve made a fair attempt to save the relationship.
Once you’ve done everything you can and nothing changes, it’s best to end the relationship with love.
If the avoidant really cares about you and is committed to working on their issues, I’m sure that they will come back or stop you from leaving.
If they don’t, then you know for certain that you have made the right decision.
It will be difficult.
Even a bad relationship will be mourned.
You will grieve over what could have been and what you hoped to have.
But, if it’s not meant to be, then you should create space in your life for the right person.
When leaving an avoidant partner, do so with grace, respect, dignity, and kindness. You’ll have little to no regrets if you do.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on when to leave an avoidant partner helpful and a source of guidance. If you would like to work with me directly, visit my services page for information on my email coaching package and how to get in contact with me.