When she’s on social media but can’t text back, it drives guys like you and me crazy. We panic and start to fear that she’s losing interest in us. So, we decide to start chasing her or behaving in a weak and unattractive manner.
The truth of the matter is that you should have an abundance mentality in your life.
What this means is that you shouldn’t be panicking or abandoning your self-respect out of fear of losing someone who isn’t that interested in you. Why? Because you know that there are definitely people in the world who would be dying to be in your company.
Even if she is losing interest, so what?
Do you really want someone who is so easily swayed by social media that she won’t even make time to text you back?
Is that the standard of partnership that you’re willing to settle for?
Honestly, I wouldn’t waste my time and neither should you. However, I know that matters of the heart are much more complex than that and it’s silly to just abandon ship for something that could be worked through.
She could be a wonderful girl and you could have done a few things to turn her off or push her away.
For that reason, I’m going to discuss all the possibilities for why she’s on social media but can’t text back.
I’ll also share some advice on what you should do to regain her interest and attraction without chasing her.
Related post: 6 Reasons to stop texting first
Reasons Why She’s On Social Media But Not Texting You Back
1. She’s addicted to social media
I’ve been with at least two girls in the past who used social media as a crutch.
It was an escape for them that eventually turned into addiction because it became a source of dopamine.
If you really examine a girl’s social media account, you’ll notice that she is either getting complimented a lot, hit on or exposed to like-minded people.
All of these little things become triggers for dopamine which can be addictive to some people. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has formed an unhealthy relationship with sources of instant gratification like social media.
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Often, a lack of hobbies or career goals aligns with someone who is battling with social media addiction because they’re drowning themselves in constant dopamine shots from socializing.
2. She’s a social media marketer
On the flip side, you could encounter someone who works in marketing and has no option but to be clued in on everything that’s happening on social media.
I worked in the digital marketing sphere for a few years and as much as I wasn’t a social media person, I found myself having to spend ridiculous amounts of hours on Facebook optimizing advertising campaigns, dealing with influencers and so forth.
If she’s a social media marketer, she has no choice but to be on the ball on the latest trends and techniques to maximize results for her job.
So, she may not be texting you back but at the same time, she’s not ignoring you to have a good time but to work and that is an important differentiation to consider.
3. She’s an influencer
I have dated someone who was striving to become an influencer and let me tell you, it can be a toxic gig.
Being on social media becomes a part of their being. Almost to the point where it can be toxic and detrimental to their own mental health.
But, they’re trying to build a following and that requires constant updates, socializing and connecting.
Dating a social media influencer is not an easy thing to deal with at first.
They’re always looking for ways to use what’s happening in their life to market themselves online.
Content creation and followers become two metrics that are obsessed over and it would explain why she’s on social media but can’t text back.
4. She’s losing interest in you
Unfortunately, when a girl starts to ignore your texts to spend time on her social media without any reason to, it’s usually because she’s losing interest.
Even if there’s some other guy in the picture, it still amounts to a loss in interest or else she would be texting you.
A lot of guys have witnessed how their ex lined up replacement guys a short while before ending the relationship.
Some girls have the tendency to prepare themselves for a breakup and one of the signs of this is an increase in social media activity while distancing themselves from their man.
If it feels like she’s systematically pulling away from you, creating a new social circle and almost designing a life outside of you, it’s because she’s losing interest and/or preparing to end the relationship.
Related post: Why did she leave me for someone else?
5. She hasn’t seen your messages as yet
I’m just under the impression that you’re reading this article on what to do when she’s on social media but can’t text back because this is an ongoing problem.
Most of the advice and reasons in this article will be tailored to that situation.
But, if this is like the first or second time it happened, then perhaps you’re reading into things too much.
Give her some space and time to choose you.
Why would you even be checking up on her activity online? You probably feel insecure, uncertain or clingy and this is why you’re watching her social media.
That’s unnecessary if this is something new and not an ongoing problem.
Your feelings are being caused by a different reason and it would be wise of you to figure out why and deal with it before you chase this girl out of your life.
She could very easily have missed your texts or is still thinking about what to say to you, especially if this is something that hasn’t happened before.
6. She’s enjoying attention from other guys
I hate to say it but there are guys and girls who constantly need validation and attention from others.
And it just so happens that social media provides a revolving door of options.
That, in and of itself, is the problem with people who spend a lot of time on social media apps.
They measure the people in their life against the options online.
This is so unhealthy and contributes immensely to why infidelity is on the rise and monogamy is failing many people who yearn for a long-term partnership.
Unless she curates the people she allows onto her social media account carefully, you’re going to deal with a lot of men hitting on her and complimenting her appearance daily.
A girl who seeks confidence and validation from just men will eventually fall victim to her own flawed way of being.
And this will present itself when she’s on social media but can’t text back.
It’s not that she can’t text back, she won’t text back right now.
Related post: How to tell if someone doesn’t care about you
7. She’s trying to get some space from you
What we know is that she’s on her phone and that she’s not busy at work.
Unless she didn’t see your texts, then she’s choosing not to text you back.
It’s important for you to examine your texts with her and measure who does more of the texting.
If you find that you’re carrying the conversation or texting her way more than she is, then it’s possible that you’ve overwhelmed her.
As someone who has been in codependent relationships, I know all about being a train-wreck who constantly needs to be talking to their partner.
I’m guilty of that myself and it takes so much work to deal with the reasons why I had an anxious attachment style.
You will text a lot of girls out of your life by being this way.
Texting should be like a game of tennis. When you hit the ball over the net, you should wait until she hits the ball back to you.
Related post: Why is she acting distant all of a sudden?
8. Your texts are boring or one-sided
Too much of a good thing can become boring and mundane.
Why?
Because you’re not exposing yourself to anything else or time without it.
It’s the anticipation and build-up that keep something exciting and enjoyable.
If you’re texting her all the time or you’re asking the same questions over and over again, it’s going to become boring.
There’s nothing new involved in the conversation for her to enjoy and you’re not away for long enough to build some anticipation for your texts.
In other words, she doesn’t even get the luxury of missing you because you’re always texting her the same things over and over again without a break.
Shake things up.
Try talking about something new. Text her at different times. Break out of your boring routine and also don’t text her as much.
These simple changes will re-attract her enough that she chooses to text you back instead of browsing social media.
Thoughts On Getting Her To Text You Back
In relationships, people will only continuously do to you what you allow them to.
It is your responsibility to set the standard for what behavior is acceptable to your partner.
When she does something that bothers you or disrespects you, then it’s your job to speak up and express what you want from her.
Whether she chooses to listen to your wants and needs is her decision. If she does, great, if she doesn’t, then you have to be prepared to walk away from the situation or impose some form of consequences.
Your first and most important course of action is to communicate your needs and wants to her,
If this is an ongoing problem, you need to let her know that you feel unappreciated when she chooses to spend more time on her social media than with you.
Granted, your goal should be to spend time in person as much as possible but I’m willing to bet that this isn’t the case given that she doesn’t even prioritize replying to your texts.
So, you need to find out what’s going on.
Don’t attack her.
Instead, communicate by asking her why this is the case and what you would like.
If this continues to be a problem, stop making as much of an effort with her or give her the option to work on things or watch you walk away.
Related post: Does silence make a woman miss you
Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Text Her
1. She may view you as needy
From my experience, I’ve noticed that no relationship thrives without freedom.
Your partner feels overwhelmed and entrapped in a relationship when you are constantly needy.
As for you, it creates feelings of uncertainty and dissatisfaction because you’re constantly asking for more instead of opening yourself up to receive from someone who may give you what you need without having to pressurize them.
She’s already showing some loss of interest.
Pushing her to communicate more is just going to chase her away from you.
2. You may say things that appear weak or desperate
When you’re fearful and trying to win back a girl’s attention, it’s not uncommon for you to say or do things that appear weak or desperate.
You’re not thinking clearly and your judgment is being swayed by fear.
The problem with fear is that it often influences us to behave in a manner that causes the occurrence of what we fear.
To put it in better words, what you fear is what you will attract.
Rather than gain her interest, you’re just going to say things that push her away because you’re not centered right now.
For this reason, I encourage you to just relax and wait until you feel more in control of yourself before you make a decision on what to say or do.
3. More texts are not going to create excitement to communicate with you
If you’ve already given something to her and she isn’t enamored by it right now, more of that thing will not increase her excitement or investment.
That’s not how to create desire.
In fact, what you ought to do is the opposite of what your fear is telling you to do in this case.
Less texting would create more desire than blowing up her phone.
You don’t create desire through abundance.
It is scarcity that increases value which in turn increases desire.
How To Make Her Text You Back
1. Don’t text her all the time
As I mentioned early, scarcity increases desirability so if she isn’t as excited to text you anymore and spends more time on social media, match or mirror her energy.
Back off a little without letting her know that you’re upset.
Let her come to you and when her interest starts to increase, keep doing what you’re doing and change things up by calling her randomly or asking her out on a date.
Don’t allow yourself to become one of those guys who text a girl out of his life.
Related post: Do girls notice when you stop texting them
2. Ask her questions that are fun or interesting
Break the monotony up by trying to text about different things.
It’s simple if you have nothing to say of value or excitement, then maybe say nothing until you do.
Offer to play a game over text like 21 questions and truth or dare.
Find ways to make the interaction over text appear fun, lighthearted or meaningful when it calls for it.
Related post: 200 Questions to ask a girl on a date
3. End conversations first and on a high note
She can’t be ignoring you or making you hang for a reply if you’re the one ending a conversation or date on a high note.
Every date or conversation reaches a peak of enjoyment.
Thereafter, it starts to dip because it’s just not sustainable to keep things going at an enjoyable pace non-stop.
By ending dates or conversations on a good note, you leave her with a good taste in her mouth.
She’s going to desire and anticipate the next conversation when she thinks about you because she’ll remember how much fun she had with you during the last date or conversation.
When you feel like things are starting to drag on or she’s starting to lose a bit of interest, that’s usually when you should definitely give her some time away to miss you.
4. Don’t reward her for choosing social media over replying to you
Since people are creatures of habit and they will only repeatedly do what you allow them to do, it makes sense that she won’t change her behavior if you chase her.
Fighting with her will turn her off and push her away.
Chasing after her will only make you look more desperate and needy.
More importantly, it will reaffirm her behavior because she’ll just assume that she doesn’t have to do much for you to give her your time, energy and effort.
So, for those reasons, don’t reward her by giving her more of your time and effort if she isn’t appreciative of it.
Withdraw some of it instead and this will set some boundaries for the relationship.
What becomes abundantly clear is that you’re not going to fall apart and chase her like a desperate puppy if she treats you like a non-priority.
In Conclusion
To summarize the gist of this article on what to do when she’s on social media but can’t text back, you need to back off a little and re-attract her. If you’re in a relationship, it would make sense to have a conversation with her but then observe her behavior.
If nothing changes, then you need to revert back to the first piece of advice and make less of an effort.
In other words, mirror her effort instead of chasing her because if you blow up her phone or keep making an effort that isn’t appreciated, you’re essentially rewarding her for this behavior.
Nothing will change except that she won’t value your effort.
So, enter a state of self-confidence and exercise your self-worth by not rewarding someone who doesn’t prioritize you in the manner that you want and deserve.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on what to do when she’s on social media but can’t text back to be helpful and thought-provoking. Please feel free to share your thoughts or questions with me by visiting the comment section below.