When he’s on social media but can’t text back, it can cause you a great deal of fear and uncertainty because this is usually a sign of someone who is losing interest.
Most women channel this panic into behavior that is counterproductive. They start to text him too much, stalk his social media, play hot and cold or lash out at him.
This will only result in a loss of attraction or rejection.
What you need to do is spend some time observing his behavior to determine if this is an ongoing issue or a singular incident.
Thereafter, you need to examine all the possible explanations for why this is happening, what it means for your relationship and what you can do to remedy this problem.
Let’s take a quick look at the reasons for why he’s on social media but can’t text back.
- He’s a social media marketer.
- He’s trying not to chase you.
- He’s losing interest in you.
- He’s going through a bad phase and needs easy fixes of dopamine.
- He’s flirting with other girls.
- He didn’t see your messages.
With that being said, let’s take a closer look at all of these reasons so that you can determine whether you have something to worry about or not.
Related post: Giving a man space to pursue you
1. He’s a social media marketer
I’ve worked in the digital marketing field for some time and I can assure you that it’s a grueling job.
I had to be dialed in for most of the day and even though I was online and communicating a lot with people, I would battle to balance marketing talk with personal communication.
Striking a balance was difficult and not everyone understood the fact that even though I was online, I couldn’t be replying to them frequently during those hours because I was working.
If you’re dating a social media marketer, this is something you may have to consider when he’s on social media but can’t text back.
Working hours play a big factor in this situation.
If the hours he’s not replying to you are congruent with work hours, then you don’t have to panic as much as if it weren’t.
2. He’s trying not to chase you
Men of today who have been unsuccessful at dating and are self aware enough to understand how they project their interest onto girls tend to fear coming across as desperate.
They will purposefully hang back and not text back immediately to avoid chasing you and scaring you off.
I’m not saying this is ideal but usually, this behavior doesn’t last long if he is actively preventing himself from replying to you to avoid appearing desperate.
Men are creatures of habit and eventually, he’ll either start texting back keenly and this will reveal to you his actual desire.
Additionally, not much else will go wrong and the courtship will escalate at a fair pace without any other red flags.
If that happens to be the case, then you obviously can rest assured knowing that he was just trying to exercise emotional self control rather than ignoring you or playing you.
Related post: My boyfriend reads my texts but doesn’t reply
3. He’s losing interest in you
As a man, I’m not afraid to admit that I have even fallen victim to this behavior in my early 20’s. It doesn’t always stem from a desire to ghost another person.
It’s more a loss of desire that results in a lack of effort to reply.
As his interest drops, you’ll notice a dip in the number of messages you receive from him as well as the length of his texts.
Unfortunately, ghosting has been normalized in this day and age and I hate that. There’s not really much that you can do about it but observe.
If he’s doing a slow fade, then this is his way of gradually making you lose interest and giving up without actually having to reject you.
Men with a strong base of integrity and who are not afraid of the consequences of being honest will be upfront instead of slowly fade out of your life or ghost you.
Related post: How to respond when he finally texts you back
4. He’s going through a bad phase and needs easy fixes of dopamine
I remember a time when nothing was really going according to plan in my life and I felt mellow all the time.
Even though I was getting to know someone at the time, I constantly needed to distract myself from my own feelings of depression.
So, social media became a crutch.
I could go online and interact with people, share images of myself for validation and just look at potential girls I could befriend as a means of getting some dopamine.
It was an incredibly unhealthy time in my life and it resulted in the loss of some relationships and friends which could have been special.
Because I was so damaged and unhappy, I was unable to catch myself and avoid self-destruction.
Thankfully, I pulled myself together over the space of a year.
But, in that time, I’m sure there were times when I didn’t reply to someone while being on social media.
5. He’s flirting with other girls
When your instincts are screaming at you that something is off and you notice that he is online but very secretive or there’s many girls commenting on his pictures or posts that you are unfamiliar with, it could be cause for concern.
When a guy is really in love or committed to building a relationship with someone, he isn’t going to ignore that person to sit on social media to interact with other girls.
Just observe his online behavior from a distance and keep a note of what’s going on. It will give you a good idea of where you stand with him.
Related post: Why isn’t he texting me?
6. He didn’t see your messages
If this is something that has just happened and you’re confused as to why he’s on social media but can’t text back, it could be that he has missed your messages.
This has happened to me from time to time.
I may even open a message with the intention to reply, type it out but forget to hit send if I get called away to do something in that moment.
But, as soon as I realize that I haven’t heard back from someone, I’ll go check the chat and that’s when I’ll reach out and apologize for not replying on time.
However, if this is something that’s happening frequently then it’s unlikely that he didn’t see your messages since the average person checks their phone approximately 522 times per day.
How often does this happen
The frequency of how often this occurs is probably the most important metric to determine whether this is a problem or just a one-off incident.
The more it occurs, the more detrimental it’s going to be to the relationship.
Here’s how: You’re going to feel slightly desperate and this is going to make you consider all sorts of explanations while possibly texting him more and chasing after him.
If nothing changes, then you’ll find yourself stalking him on social media and then your paranoia will grow until you’re feeling miserable every time he’s online but not replying.
At that point, it’s undeniable that there’s an issue that needs to be addressed for the sake of your relationship with him and your own sanity.
If it just happened now, be observant to determine if something is brewing.
And if it’s occurring more frequently, you need to have a conversation with him or match his energy if the reason for why he’s losing interest is due to over pursuing him.
Related post: If a guy doesn’t contact you in a day
How to set your boundaries with him
If you’re in a relationship, then this behavior doesn’t cut it.
Of course, if he’s talking to you all the time or meeting you in person frequently, it isn’t such a bad thing that he’s not texting you back instantly all the time.
Some distance can be incredibly beneficial to a relationship because it creates anticipation and excitement.
But, if this behavior is concerning you and impacting the quality of your relationship, then your first course of action is to have a conversation with him.
Don’t be aggressive or confrontational.
Instead, ask him what’s going on and when he explains, let him know how it makes you feel and what you would prefer for him to do instead.
Thereafter, give him the opportunity to make the changes needed to improve the communication within your relationship.
If he does, great. If he doesn’t and resumes this behavior, then you can assume that he’s either not invested as much as he should be or losing interest and talking to other people.
At that point, you need to back off and match his energy.
This will create a consequence for his behavior and if he still cares about you and has attraction for you, he’ll be worried and he’ll contact you to find out what’s wrong.
That’s when you get another opportunity to exercise your boundaries without looking like you’re desperate or crazy.
I want you to leave this article with this piece of wisdom – you deserve someone who is excited to communicate with you.
Most of us tend to chase after those who don’t give us the time of day because we feel like this will validate our worth. But, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
The best way to validate our own worth is by choosing to surround ourselves with people who recognize it and treat us with respect and love.
You don’t have to abandon the relationship because of this. Have an honest and open conversation with him. Match his energy.
Give him every chance to make things right.
If he doesn’t, then you can walk away knowing that you exercised every possible solution.
You’ll walk away with respect and without regrets.
With that being said, I hope you found this article to be helpful and practical. If you would like for me to answer a specific question or relationship problem, please feel free to let me know by submitting your comment down below.