No contact is one of the most effective tools at you disposal after a breakup. It will help you to move on as well as give your ex space to think about what they want. But, when he doesn’t contact you during no contact, it can be confusing and scary.
It might even influence you to consider the idea of breaking no contact.
Here’s what you need to ask yourself – if he doesn’t contact me during no contact, it means that he doesn’t care about me or our relationship like I do. So, should I be wasting my time on someone who doesn’t deserve me?
No contact is more than just a tool for getting an ex back or moving on. It’s also a test to determine the quality of a connection.
If someone truly loves you, no contact will have such a profound effect on them that they will reach out relatively soon after the breakup.
If they don’t contact you during no contact, it unfortunately means that they lost most of the feelings they claimed to have felt.
Either way, it provides you with a great and effective test to determine whether your ex is the right person for you.
Well, because I like to believe that the right person will find their way back to you more often than not.
Related post: 10 Reasons why he doesn’t call you
Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why he doesn’t contact you during no contact.
1. He doesn’t care about you
As difficult as this may be to acknowledge, no contact usually reveals the truth about someone’s feelings.
If he hasn’t contacted you during no contact and the weeks are piling up on each other, it’s about time for you to realize that he doesn’t care about you anymore and it’s time for you to just focus on moving on.
Someone who genuinely cares about you will reach out to you when they start to miss you. But, to miss you, they need to actually care.
Related post: Is my ex over me?
2. He’s rebounding
Another popular reason why he doesn’t contact you during no contact is that he has jumped into a rebound relationship.
Whether he’s actually in love with this new person will depend on their history and circumstances of their relationship.
However, more often than not, guys jump into a rebound relationship to avoid dealing with the aftermath of a breakup.
In other words, he’s trying to escape the discomfort of a breakup but those feelings will eventually catch up to him.
3. He’s dating other people
Perhaps he hasn’t entered another relationship but is on the prowl and ‘enjoying’ his new found freedom.
Much like rebound relationships, this is just another way to avoid his feelings after the breakup.
Eventually, he’ll come crashing down to earth.
People deal with breakups differently and some men choose to chase after other women to feel better about themselves.
Related post: How long does it take for a guy to regret dumping you
4. He’s confused
When a man is indecisive, it is usually because he feels confused and uncertain about something.
For this reason, you won’t hear from them during no contact because he’s trying to figure out exactly how he feels about you and the relationship.
Breakups can create a ton of uncertainty in people’s lives so it comes as no surprise that he needs time to figure himself out.
5. He’s trying to move on
Lastly, the only other reason why he doesn’t contact you during no contact is that he wants to move on from the relationship.
Instead of jumping into a rebound relationship or coming back, he’s spending time alone processing the breakup healthily.
His ultimate goal is to move on and so to avoid creating unnecessary pain for the two of you, he has accepted the silence and chosen to move on with his life.
Related post: 2 Weeks no contact should I give up?
Now that you have an understanding as to the reasons why he hasn’t contact you, let’s talk about what you can do during no contact to move on and heal from the breakup.
1. Focus on healing
The best thing you could possibly do for yourself after a breakup is focus on healing from the pain of a loss.
It’s going to take a toll on you. It’s going to feel like a relationship has died and your life has changed.
These are normal feelings to experience.
They’re extremely difficult to deal with during the early stages of a breakup and I caution you against making any rash decisions during this time.
Instead, give yourself the time and space to feel those emotions because that is the only way to get through them and to heal from them.
Related post: How it feels to be in no contact
2. Spend time with loved ones
It can be easy to obsess over the loved one who has left your life but that should not influence you to forget about the rest of the people in your life.
Instead of distancing yourself from them, gravitate towards them.
Let them support you through this difficult time.
I’m telling you that your loved ones will give you some strength to get through this rough patch until you can thrive on your own again.
3. Build a relationship with yourself
Something that I have come to realize is that the most important relationship you can have in your life is the one that you have with yourself.
This also happens to be the bane of my existence.
I have struggled to nurture a relationship with myself for a long time because I didn’t understand how to do so.
Right now, I’m putting in the work to develop a greater understanding of myself.
It seems like the only way to do that is to spend some time alone without avoiding those thoughts or feelings that bother me.
My best friend advised me to simply ask myself this question out loud for a while – What do I want?
This is a great place to start when trying to build a relationship with yourself.
4. Avoid his social media accounts
If you’re keeping tabs on your ex, it means that you aren’t focusing on yourself and the future.
This will lead to an unhealthy habit that controls the way you feel on a daily basis.
If he’s busy moving on with his life or meeting other people, seeing this stuff on his social media will only hurt you and prolong the pain you experience.
For no contact to really work, you must distance yourself from him altogether.
5. Don’t dwell on the past
For some time, you’ll be thinking about the breakup and your relationship with him all the time. It’s going to be something you talk about with the people in your life at every chance you get.
That’s okay to do during the early stages of your breakup.
But, as time goes on and life starts to move forward, you need to set aside some time in your day to focus on the future.
Even if it’s just for an hour, force yourself to step away from those thoughts and feelings to focus on your goals, dreams, work, family or friends and most importantly, yourself.
While you’re at it, remove as many reminders of him as you possibly can during no contact.
Related post: Will my ex come back after no contact?
If he doesn’t contact you during no contact, it usually means that he doesn’t care anymore, he’s rebounding, he’s dating other people or he’s trying to move on.
Instead of chasing after him or fixating on whether he will come back or not, you should spend your time building a better relationship with yourself and spending time with your loved ones.
The right person for you will always find a way to gravitate back into your life.
If you have to chase or force them to be with you, it will make you feel horrible about yourself and the relationship.
So, give someone the option to choose you. If they do, they’re meant for you. If they don’t, you’re meant for someone else.
Either way, your life will go on and you are not just defined by a relationship.
No contact will not be easy at first but you have so much to gain by challenging yourself with something that can help you move on and develop a better relationship with yourself.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on ‘what to do when he doesn’t contact you during no contact’. I hope you found the advice I shared with you to be helpful and insightful. If you’d like email coaching, be sure to check out my services page for more information.