When A Girl Says She’s Not Ready For A Relationship


when she isn't ready for a relationship, when a girl doesn't want a relationship, when a girl says she isn't ready for a relationship

Are you confused by a girl’s mixed signals? She likes you, things were going great and you want to be exclusive but then she puts a wrench in your plans. When a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship, it means that you are moving way too fast for her.

I don’t blame you, though. Taking things slow is difficult when your emotions are triggered and she ticks your boxes for an awesome girlfriend.

As much as you feel ready to take things to the next level, that doesn’t necessarily mean she is, even if she like you a lot.

The problem isn’t that she’s giving you mixed signals – the problem is that you are projecting your feelings and eagerness onto her.

Rather than remain relatively objective, you’re overcome by the desire to be with her.

This desire creates a sense of confirmation bias so when you analyze her actions against what you feel, you’re convincing yourself that she feels exactly the same way you do.

The reason why she isn’t ready for a relationship with you

Apart from moving too fast, her feelings have not been given enough time to mature.

Women try to guard their hearts as best as they can. Just because they like you, doesn’t mean they’re ready to give themselves to you without know for sure that you could be the one.

Personally, I don’t subscribe to the idea of ‘The One’ but a lot of people do. If she is one of those individuals, then she simply has not fallen in love with you to the point of feeling certain that you may be the one for her.

That’s not a deal breaker. Nor is it a reason for you to panic and try to convince her that you.

If anything, you should slow down and focus on having a good time rather than nailing her down to exclusivity.

Trust me when I tell you that when a woman is ready for a relationship, you’ll know! She’ll hint about it and bring up exclusivity more times than you can ever imagine.

The majority of women will give you signs or tell you straight up that they want to be exclusive with you.

Since we know that, what’s the point in rushing her or losing control of yourself because she’s not ready as yet?

So long as she enjoys your company, wants to spend more time with you and is eager to see where things go, you’re in the perfect position to have fun and nurture the feelings of attraction brewing between you two.

When it reaches boiling point, she’ll be all over you!

With that being said, let’s talk about the 3 things you should never do when a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship.

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1. Stop chasing her

The number one way to chase a girl out of your life is by actually chasing her. Men seem to not realize how desperate, clingy, weak and needy they can look to a woman by chasing.

Someone of a high value doesn’t need to chase people for attention. There is a fine line between pursuit and chasing.

The subtle art of pursuit encourages patience and persistence. It promotes the idea of giving people the space to miss you and choose you. Rather than looking for instant gratification, long-term success is prioritized.

Chasing often stems from a desire to be instantly gratified. You sacrifice the excitement of a girl reaching out to you and making an effort to see you for a silly text or response to your call.

Hang back.

Let her do some of the work for a change. Allow the romance and feelings to manifest and grow naturally. Rather than chase her, she’ll be hot on your heels all the time.

Wouldn’t you like that instead of being the one begging for attention and a relationship?

Related post: How to make her chase you after a breakup

2. Stop texting her all the time

What you say on a text doesn’t always translate well to the receiver. You may think you’re being funny or charming but to her, you could be coming across as rude, annoying or silly.

Far too many men ruin their chances of a relationship with a girl by texting her too much.

Cut it off. She’s clearly not ready for a relationship and by you texting her all the time, you’re going to smother her to emotional death.

There are benefits to not texting a girl all day long. The most important is that it gives her space and time to miss you.

This is a crucial component in the development of feelings.

When we miss someone, it fuels our desire to be with them. Suddenly, the things we like about them heighten and gain more screen time in our minds.

Additionally, if you’ve done too many things incorrectly, the time away may help her get over it. Her initial level of attraction will be restored, thus, improving your chances of winning her heart.

Give her a reason to meet you.

Text her at times but don’t do so for hours. A man of substance would not be sitting on his phone all day. He would be pursuing his purpose in life.

3. Don’t bring up exclusivity with her yet

You never want to pressure a girl into being exclusive with you. It gives off all the wrong signals and wreaks of desperation.

If she’s not ready, it may scare her off, especially if you won’t drop the topic and keep insisting on it.

Instead of focusing on labels or exclusivity, direct your focus on the quality of time you spend with her.

Maximize the amount of fun she has with you.

I promise you, by making a girl have fun and feel happy, she will naturally gravitate towards you. Rather than compete with other guys, you’ll be on a totally different level.

And you know what, she’ll choose you over others the more fondly she feels and thinks about you.

That can only happen if you show up to the interaction with the express purpose of having a phenomenal time.

Once you engage a girl’s heart, she’ll be the one bringing up relationship labels and exclusivity.

Related post: 50 best first date ideas that are fun and romantic

4. Focus on having fun

Trust me when I tell you that’s it’s quite difficult to focus on having fun when you’re obsessing over why she’s not ready for a relationship.

Pressurizing her to be with you or focusing on an issue like this isn’t going to help her feel ready.

It’s going to make her feel stressed and overwhelmed. And what I know is that most people will turn away from others when they feel pressured and caved in.

The whole point of a relationship is to experience life with someone. To share a journey with someone means to make memories with them.

Start there and focus on that above everything else. If you can make her feel good around you, it’s going to create a compelling reason for her to want and desire to be with you.

That is achieved by focusing on having a good time with her.

Give her time to fall in love with you

Honestly, time is your best friend. You don’t need to be exclusive with her right now to enjoy her company. I get that you want it but if she’s not ready, then you only have two choices, take it slow until she’s ready or find someone else.

I wouldn’t jump to the second option because it presupposes that she may never be ready.

But, if the two of you have good chemistry and you can tell that she genuinely does like you then it’s only a matter of time before she’s ready to be with you.

I just want to emphasize something to you – do not panic when a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship.

She’s not rejecting you, she’s telling you to slow down. That’s it. Women will often help you win their hearts if you just listen and pay attention to the subtle messages in their words, actions and body language.

You’re a great guy. Don’t underestimate your worth and others won’t either.

At the end of the day, you can’t force anyone to be in a relationship. That defeats the whole point of being together. Give her the opportunity to choose you.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on what to do when a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship to be insightful and easy to understand. Please share your experiences or questions in the comment section below.

3 thoughts on “When A Girl Says She’s Not Ready For A Relationship

  1. I really like this girl we’ve gone out a couple times she said numerous times that she’s not ready for a relationship. She’s very affectionate with me and even asked me out on the second date. She talked about wanting to have kids in a couple years, settling down, said she likes my job, my age and a lot of qualities I have. I was going to leave her a message saying I just want you in my life in whatever capacity. Take it slow then give her space and not contact her for a couple weeks see if that makes her want me more? Thoughts

  2. Hey,
    So I am going to take your advice with giving her more space. I just want to know whether I should be sending those cliche good morning texts everyday. She has personally told me that she does like receiving good morning texts, but I feel like doing that every day might just be over bearing cause I need to slow it down. Do you think I should send those everyday and not text her at all the rest of the days cause it could show that I have her on my mind. What do you think? Please reply because this articles is helpful!

    1. I would just not get into a routine and try to go back to a fun time. You can greet her some mornings and you can skip others.
      Keep her guessing a bit and avoid pushing for labels. It will take some time but you’ll get there so long as you don’t overthink everything you do.

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