It’s so frustrating when a girl who seemed interested and invested suddenly stops texting back as much. You probably want to text her more but that may not be the correct way to gain her attention. In this article, I’m going to share what you need to do when a girl goes quiet on text.
When a girl goes quiet on text, it’s probably because she’s busy, talking to someone else, losing interest, testing you, upset or just experiencing the natural dip in desire that occurs with most people.
Knowing why is just one aspect to focus on but it doesn’t amount to much if you don’t know how to address this situation.
Most guys who go through this panic.
The more invested and attracted you are to someone, the greater degree of panic you may feel when she goes quiet.
Similarly, when you’re unfamiliar with something like this because you have been in a long-term relationship that ended recently and you haven’t texted with many girls, it can be scary, confusing and stressful when she goes quiet on text.
Our natural instinct is to fight or flight.
In terms of texting, we either text more and compensate for her lack of texts or we withdraw and cut ties because we are afraid of getting rejected.
However, there is a third option that isn’t talked about enough and it’s called the freeze response.
In other words, you simply stop doing anything and observe.
Take some time to neither text or cut ties and just observe her behavior. Make a note of what was said before she went quiet on text, how long it’s been since she replied to you, whether she’s online often, if she’s posting on social media and if her last reply was cold or not.
By not making any rash decisions, you create an opportunity for you to acquire enough information on the situation to decide on how to deal with it.
In times of emotional instability, you need as much information as you possibly can get to make an informed decision.
Believe me, I know how difficult this is.
But, that’s why it’s so important to develop a strong sense of emotional control as a man.
Women are emotionally driven in relationships. That’s why you can’t convince a woman to like you via logic or reasoning. They want to feel a specific way and if you understand her feelings, you have a greater chance of behaving in a manner that is congruent with those feelings and your desire.
When two people are operating from a purely emotional base, it creates the breeding ground for misunderstandings and explosive decisions.
If you want to have more success with women, learn how to detach from your feelings and act in accordance with logic and rationality.
This does not have to be your default state of behavior.
It’s just when you are either overly upset or overly desperate when you need to exercise emotional control
Desperation in romantic relationships has rarely amounted to good outcomes.
That has been the case in my life and it’s been the same for most of the people who email me for email consultations.
You cannot control what a woman does.
It’s a simple fact.
What you can do is control your own behavior in response to what she does. This can have a much more influential impact on her behavior than if you tried to actually control her.
So, today’s article is going to focus more on what you need to do when a girl goes quiet on text rather than why.
Related post: Can a girl change her mind after rejecting a guy?
What To Do When She Stops Texting Back
Don’t chase her
When someone’s attention starts to diminish over time, it’s never a good idea to chase them unless they feel unappreciated by your lack of effort prior to going quiet.
Chasing girls rarely ever work and you should not mistake pursuing a girl for chasing her.
The former takes a shot and observes whether a girl is receptive or not.
If she seems interested, he knows how to approach her and flirt with her to grow attraction.
The latter is just a poor way of trying to avoid rejection.
I am of the opinion that a man of value and abundance does not have to chase a woman who has a low interest.
In not chasing, he actually increases his level of attraction in her eyes because it shows confidence and a healthy amount of self-respect which are both considered very attractive in men.
Chasing her over text would amount to double or triple texting her often, complimenting her all the time and sending her long texts expressing your desire for her.
Related post: What to do after a girl rejects you
Don’t beg for attention
I want you to know that the right woman who has a high level of interest in you will be just waiting to talk to you.
More often than not, she’ll be the one initiating contact and creating opportunities for you to ask her out.
That’s what a healthy level of interest looks like.
The opposite is true for a woman who is losing interest in you, has someone else or isn’t looking to date.
You’ll often feel like you’re being looked through rather than looked at.
With this kind of woman, the last thing you want to do is ask her for more attention or try to escalate the conversation because you’ll be met with more disappointment and less effort.
When you only give your time and attention to people who are willing to do the same for you, life is much better and relationships or friendships feel more fulfilling.
And when you live like this, you’ll naturally gravitate towards these kinds of people and away from those who aren’t appreciating you.
As an effect, the girls who actually have a genuine interest in you will perceive this to be attractive and also scary because they’ll face the possibility of losing you.
So, she’ll start giving you more attention and texting more.
You’re a man of value and substance, why should you be begging anyone for attention?
Related post: Should you be chasing after an ex or not?
Don’t jump to conclusions
When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. That statement holds true for a lot of things in life.
Far too often do men jump to conclusions without waiting and assessing a situation.
Granted, I would advise you to have a conversation but since she’s gone quiet on text, the least you can do is wait a while before making any decisions.
Give it a reasonable time for her to respond and when she does, assess the quality of her texts.
It could be possible that she has been busy or dealing with a personal crisis.
The last thing you want to do is make an assumption without enough proof or reason.
Related post: We haven’t talked in a week after fighting
Wait for an acceptable amount of time before walking away
Depending on the reason for why she goes quiet on text, the time in which you need to wait before walking away will vary.
Sometimes, in the event of a personal crisis or busy work phase, people neglect their text messages.
It would be silly to just walk away, especially if it hasn’t been more than a day since your last text with her.
Then, there’s the possibility that her interest has dropped after spending a lot of time talking to you or perhaps you said something to upset her.
In both cases, it’s best to just give her some time to reply and restart things.
Never should you wait for more than a week or two for a girl to reply.
If you do, don’t take her seriously because she’s clearly not taking you seriously.
Match and mirror her effort
Never reward someone for treating you like a low priority. Doing so is a surefire way of disrespecting your own worth.
I’ve realized that nobody will respect me until I’m willing to respect myself.
And a woman could never fall in love with you if she doesn’t respect you. That’s a fact.
A self-respecting man would not chase, beg or plead with women for attention, especially when he has made a genuine effort to court her.
When texting, aim to match and mirror her texts. In other words, if she’s showing high interest and punctuality, offer the same. If she takes long to reply and her texts show no enthusiasm, match that energy.
If she actually has some interest in you, she’ll note this change and realize that it stems from her lack of effort.
At this point, she may choose to make more of an effort or not.
Based on this, you’ll get a good idea of whether she’s actually worth your time or just one of those girls looking for unnecessary and unappreciated attention.
You can never chase a girl out of your life by matching and mirroring her texting habits. At most, you’re going to be on equal footing. At best, she’s going to be pursuing you in a manner that’s healthy and you’ll be courting her accordingly.
Related post: When you stop caring she starts chasing
As much as you worried about losing her, it’s important that you maintain composure because little good comes from behaving desperately.
I’m willing to bet that the right woman will always come back and rectify things.
Better yet, you’ll find someone who doesn’t put you in this position and allows things to progress healthily.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on what to do when a girl goes quiet on text. If you would like to get your hands on my book that includes everything you need to know on how to court a girl and make her fall in love with you, click here.