Rejection stings. I can still remember when I’d be awake most of the night running through the possibilities for why a girl I liked and had a great time with rejected me. It’s particularly confusing when it happens over text and you don’t know what to say when a girl rejects you over text.
In my experience, the best reply to a girl who rejects you over text is no reply at all. If you choose to reply, be humble and kind with your words. Avoid saying anything out of anger or bitterness.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve made every mistake in the book when it comes to facing rejection.
I wasn’t used to it.
For most of my life, I had girls come to me professing their feelings. It just so happened that these were girls who I really liked and wanted to be with.
So when I reached a stage in my life when it wasn’t so easy to meet women in my general proximity and I had to embrace casual dating by meeting absolute strangers, it was an uphill battle at first.
Sure, as time went on my game improved. I was able to avoid making silly mistakes that ruined attraction.
But, rejection is an inevitability, especially if you are casually dating in hopes of meeting someone who vibes with you.
I’m not going to be harsh on women or men who opt to reject someone over text.
It can be an uncomfortable experience for both parties involved. And alot of people want to take the easy way out. It is what it is.
What we should focus our attention on is how to handle rejection and what to say when a girl rejects you over text.
1. Reply kindly
Most people don’t get a kick out of rejecting someone but I would be amiss not to mention how empowering it is to make this decision.
It’s a power move. The unilateral decision of ending a courtship.
The reason is unimportant at this point, what you need to do is maintain your dignity, self-respect and peace of mind.
I think replying politely and kindly is one of the healthiest options at your disposal.
It’s graceful and leaves little for someone to criticize.
And if the rejection was caused by a reason outside of you, then such a reply leaves the door open for her to reach out to you in the future.
Because most guys don’t know how to handle being rejected. They lash out or act arrogant which validates the girl’s decision to reject them. In this case, you’re acting different and she’ll take note of it.
By taking the opposite approach of anger, you leave the situation on a positive note which can give you back some of the power.
You chose to react kindle and politely. Rather than give in to the usual feelings of rejection, you made a healthier decision for your well being and that is powerful.
Here’s an example of what I would say – “Hey, that’s a bummer but it’s okay and I understand. You’re a great girl and I had a good time. Keep well and keep in touch“
It’s short, sweet and to the point.
2. Say nothing at all
Often times, rejection over text provides very little closure. It could be worded kindly or rudely. It could take your feelings into consideration or be hurtful and insulting. It varies.
Usually, there’s no room for changing her decision. A women will usually reject you only when she is certain of it.
Trying to get anything out of the situation is risky. If you can’t bring yourself to reply indifferently and kindly, the best reaction is no reaction at all.
She rejected you so there’s nothing more to say, right?
Rather than open yourself up to be patronized, insulted, humiliated or rejected further, say nothing at all.
Closure does not always require a two-way goodbye.
Sometimes we have to move on without saying anything. The goodbye has to take place within us.
3. Do not offer to be friends
If you are only interested in this girl romantically and you think being friends is the next best way to win back her attraction and attention, you’re deadly wrong!
It’s one of the biggest mistakes you can make in this situation.
What usually happens is your attraction for this girl multiplies whilst her residual attraction for you disappears.
In the end, she gains a guy friend who she has zero interest in and you gain a classic case of blue balls (for the lack of a better term).
If you are in agreement of the rejection and feel the same way, in such an instance, you can offer to be friends.
There’s nothing wrong with building a friendship with this girl and eventually meeting one of her female friends who vibes with you.
Only offer to be friends if you’re genuine about it.
4. Do not reply with an angry or bitter text
An angry or bitter text doesn’t change a girls mind about rejecting you nor does it help you gain back any power or respect.
If anything, it diminishes you further.
Just like how a guy will show his buddies a text or exchange of a girl who flipped out on him over something, girls do the same thing.
This turns you into a laughing stock and it validates every doubt she had about you.
Rather than question her decision of rejecting you, she’ll celebrate it knowing that you were not a strong and confident man.
Angry texts only result in negative outcomes. I don’t think that’s healthy for anyone, especially if you are trying to heal and move on.
Find healthier ways to process your anger and feelings.
5. Don’t beg for an explanation
There were times when all I wanted from a girl was an explanation for why she decided that we wouldn’t work out.
I felt like this would help me get some closure from the situation or atleast learn something from it so I can refine my approach in the future.
Most of the time, I never got the real reason for the rejection. I had to piece it together weeks later by revisiting the situation in my mind from an objective and critical perspective.
This habit helped me improve at dating tremendously.
However, most girls don’t want to hurt your feelings further. They want to reject you in the least damaging way possible.
So chances are such, to spare your feelings, they won’t reveal the real reason why she rejected you.
It’s okay if you need to ask. But don’t press on the matter if you get the idea that she’s not going to be brutally honest.
You’ll get over it
Irrespective of how bad you feel right now, take solace in the fact that time heals all wounds.
You won’t be feeling this amount of hurt for long. As time passes, you’ll move on and when you meet someone new and exciting, this will be nothing more than an afterthought.
Don’t beat yourself up for handling rejection poorly in the past.
We’ve all been there. Even I have. But what’s important is to learn from it and become a better person.
Weakness involved bitterness. That’s something I remind myself of constantly.
True forgiveness brings about peace.
Forgive rejection and move on with your life. It takes a lot of effort but if you can build this sort of healthy relationship with rejection, it will never diminish you again.
I hope at this point that you know exactly what to say when a girl rejects you over text.
Keep it short and sweet or say nothing at all. Avoid angry and bitter texts at all costs. Don’t beg for an explanation. Neither should you incessantly try to convince her to change her mind.
Accept it graciously and start focusing on moving on. It may be difficult but it’s the healthiest approach to the situation.
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