When you find yourself feeling ugly, it can affect your overall well-being in many ways. From being self-conscious to highly anxious, it can hold you back from living a wholesome life and pursuing the relationships you deserve. So, in this article, I want to share exactly what to do when you feel ugly.
The best thing to do when you feel ugly is to change your perception of beauty, avoid comparing yourself to others, limit social media usage, focus on the best parts of you and just work on your character.
By making these changes, I can guarantee that you will feel more confident and happier with yourself.
Be that as it may, here’s a quick look at all the things we are going to discuss in this article on what to do when you feel ugly.
- Change your perception of beauty.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- Surround yourself with better people.
- Take care of yourself.
- Accept the way you look.
- Build confidence.
- Focus on things you can control.
- Work on your inner beauty.
- Limit the time you spend on social media.
- Challenge your thoughts.
Let’s discuss each of these tips in more detail so you have a firm understanding of how to apply them in real life.
Related post: How to cope with being ugly
1. Change your perception of beauty
When you feel ugly, the first thing you should do is recognize and acknowledge that this is your flawed opinion and perception of reality and not a fact.
There is no objective standard for beauty and so currently, for whatever reason, you are measuring yourself against a standard that is making you feel ugly.
Just because beauty publications and media promote a certain standard for what’s considered beautiful doesn’t mean it’s true.
If anything, these standards are constantly changing which proves how unreliable they are.
Should you be labeling yourself as ugly just because you are accustomed to viewing these ever-changing standards of beauty?
I don’t think so!
Instead, you ought to be setting your own standard for beauty in respect to how you look.
Approach beauty strictly within the parameters under your control. If you have wavy hair, seek out the most beautiful form for that hair.
If you are pale or dark skinned, pair that with colors of clothing that highlight your beautiful complexion.
In other words, assume that whatever you are is perfectly within the parameters for beauty and all you have to do is dress up and display your features at their best.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
One of the greatest thieves of joy and confidence is comparison.
It is a fruitless endeavor that provides very little benefit unless approached with a healthy mindset of growth.
As an individual, you are unique. You will never find someone who looks 100% identical to you other than a twin sibling.
Even then, there may be some slight differences!
As such, comparing yourself against anyone else would be pointless because there aren’t any identical features to pair against each other.
It’s not fair to do so under these circumstances and yet we still partake in this activity.
Instead of comparing yourself against others, compare yourself against yourself.
Try to focus on ways in which you can improve or appreciate the way you look. If you were in better shape before, you can use that as a comparison to judge how much weight you’d like to lose.
If you used to have better hairstyles, you can seek out ways to improve your style.
These are factors that are within your control and so it’s easier to feel better about yourself knowing that you can improve your appearance.
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3. Surround yourself with better people
They say that we are the sum total of the 5 closest people to us.
If those people happen to be judgmental, critical and superficial people who obsess on appearance, it’s only natural that you would start to do the same.
There have been times in my life when I have felt really insecure about how I looked because of the types of people I surrounded myself with.
It was only when I started distancing myself from people who made me feel self-conscious that I really felt free from all this self-criticism.
You may not be able to avoid these types of people altogether but make a conscious decision not to hold value to their thoughts and opinions.
In the same light, if you’re with people who don’t take care of themselves and take no pride in their appearance, you would benefit by finding someone who does.
That person will encourage and influence you to stay healthy and to make an effort to look your best.
4. Take care of yourself
I noticed that when I was at my heaviest, I felt like I shouldn’t bother to dress well because I thought I looked ugly.
What I didn’t realize was that not making an effort to dress well, have a haircut, groom and look my best was what made me feel like I’m ugly because I’m overweight.
When I finally took the plunge to take care of myself, I realized that I can look amazing even with the extra weight.
This, in and of itself, made me feel like I’m not ugly but it also motivated me to work out and improve my overall physique.
Because I realized that if I could look this good overweight, then imagine how good I could look if I got to a size that I deemed healthy and fit.
If this is something you can relate to, then I urge you to set aside the thing that you deem ‘ugly’ about yourself and focus on looking good in every other way.
This will greatly influence the way you feel about yourself.
I promise you.
5. Accept the way you look
One of the hardest yet most important things to do in this situation is to accept yourself. Acceptance doesn’t mean being ignorant of your flaws and perfections.
On the contrary, it is being fully aware of them without judgment.
It is coming to the understanding that these are the features that you possess without a desire to change them.
When you can eliminate self judgment and critique from your appearance, it can be freeing and calming.
Related post: How to stop hating yourself
6. Build confidence
If you take a look around you and pay attention to some of the happiest and most in love people, they are often not what you perceive to be beautiful.
On the contrary, you may find a ton of people who don’t have the perfect body, hair, clothes or facial features but they exude happiness and positivity,
They attract partners who are also amazing.
Study their behavior carefully and you’ll find that it ticks all the boxes for confidence.
Looking like a magazine cover girl or guy does not automatically guarantee anything.
You may appear more desirable but without confidence, those picture-perfect looks will always fall short next to the person who is confident.
To develop confidence, you must start by accepting your flaws and perfections. Thereafter, you must focus on developing a healthier relationship with yourself.
This can be done through goal setting and the achievement of such goals.
The more capable you become, the easier it is to develop confidence in yourself.
The people who are most confident are those who keep the promises they make to themselves.
7. Focus on things you can control
I’ve come to realize how fruitless and destructive it is to focus on those things which I do not have control over.
I can’t exercise control over my genetics and so focusing on appearing to look different than I am is a pointless endeavor.
Instead, I could direct all of that energy and focus towards those elements that are within my control.
I can’t necessarily change the fact that I’m not over 6 foot tall. So, instead of beating myself up and feeling ugly because of it, I can work on my body and build more muscles.
This is something within my control that I can focus on and achieve incredible results.
If you apply this to more facets of yourself and life, it becomes infinitely easier for you to stop feeling ugly.
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8. Work on your inner beauty
You can be the most ‘perfect’ looking person on the planet but if you neglect your personality and character, it will count for absolutely nothing.
I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I was turned off by a stunning woman who had the personality of a dead duck. Even worse, a woman who was toxic and horrible to others.
If I were to be brutally honest, when I neglected my character and focused solely on looks, I remember being incredibly unhappy but douchey as well.
Thankfully, it was a phase that didn’t last all that long.
I would strongly suggest that you develop a better relationship with yourself by nurturing your character.
People will absolutely love and adore you for it, irrespective of your flaws.
And when you look in the mirror, what you’ll see is someone who adds value to the world and that will supersede any and all amounts of superficiality.
9. Limit the time you spend on social media
When everyone is far too busy sharing fake, altered and fairytale versions of their lives online, it’s only natural to develop unrealistic expectations based on this content.
By constantly exposing yourself to this picture-perfect version of people online, it’s rewiring your brain to assume that this social media content is a true reflection of reality.
Even though you probably know that it’s not, on a subconscious level, you’ll start to believe that it is.
I started to limit my social media usage to just 15 minutes per day.
I’ve also removed those people or accounts that make me feel bad about myself.
In time, this has had a profound effect on my mind and happiness.
I’ve stopped comparing myself to the standards set online and this has made it easier for me to feel better about myself.
10. Challenge your thoughts
Have you ever sat down and criticized your thoughts the way you criticize yourself?
Like, why do you feel ugly? More importantly, why is that specific detail about you ugly?
Think about that!
Is it because someone told you it’s ugly? But is that person perfect? Do they have any flaws? If they do, should you be taking criticism from someone who doesn’t look perfect?
When you sit down and truly dissect some of these thoughts and criticism you have for yourself, it really breaks away the foundation upon which these thoughts sit.
By challenging your beliefs on beauty, it creates a fair setting for you to think slightly more objectively and lovingly towards yourself.
I honestly believe that beauty is more than skin deep. It really is. When you can take care of yourself, make an effort to look good, own your identity, be confident and craft your character, that’s when you will discover true beauty.
At the end of the day, we are all going to age and eventually wither away. It might sound like a mellow and dark thought but it’s also eye-opening.
What truly counts as we age is the kind of impact we have on the people around us.
That will depend entirely on the kind of person we grow into and choose to be.
Going forward, focus on becoming the best version of yourself rather than trying to be someone you are not.
With that being said, I genuinely pray that you found solace and comfort in this article on what to do when you feel ugly. If you would like to ask a question or add anything more to this topic, feel free to let me know in the comment section below.
“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.” ― Mandy Hale