You texted someone and instead of getting a reply, they ignore you. This leaves you feeling confused, upset and annoyed. Now, you’re wondering what to do when someone ignores your text?
The first thing you should do is just let it go for now. Double texting them or triple texting them will only make you look desperate for a response. Ignoring someone is rude and it’s the kind of behavior that should not be rewarded with more effort.
I’ve written many articles for this site that discusses the disadvantages of texting someone who isn’t interested in replying to you.
Not only does it make you look desperate but it will make you feel rejected and hurt.
Many people, including myself, don’t react appropriately when challenged with these feelings.
I used to feel butt hurt when someone would ignore me.
Rather than let it go and wait for them to reach out, I’d try to gain their attention with more texts or other petty means.
If they didn’t take the bait, I’d spiral and start to up the antics until I end up looking stupid or creating a bigger problem.
All of this can simply be avoided and prevented by just letting it go and not chasing someone who ignores your text.
The second thing you should do is decide whether it’s worth your time to text this person again.
If they’re not someone important and it doesn’t change your life whether they reply or not, then you can just let it slide altogether.
However, if you texted them about something important and you feel like things have been left up in the air, you should reach out just once more finding out if they’re free to chat or if they can get back to you regarding your previous text.
What you don’t want to do at this point is blow up at this person or lash out.
It only gives them more power to know that they got under your skin.
Additionally, if they’re ignoring you because of something you have done, it would be pointless and damaging to argue about this when there is a bigger issue that needs to be resolved.
What I do know, with certainty, is that you cannot fix an issue by creating new ones.
For these reasons, you want to keep calm and composed.
Be that as it may, let’s talk about all the reasons why you shouldn’t do anything when someone ignores your text.
Related post: Why is my best friend ignoring me?
1. It makes you look and feel desperate
Whether you’re texting someone you like or someone you want to do business with, chasing after them when they ignore your texts is not attractive by any means.
It places you in a weaker position and that strips you of any negotiating power.
Any relationship requires some degree of equality.
When you double or triple text someone, it shifts the power balance in their favor.
That’s unhealthy and will make you feel desperate and weak.
It is far more reasonable to wait until they reply than to keep texting them.
What I’ve noticed is that when people start to feel desperate, their ability to weigh the pros and cons of their actions is diminished.
Rather than behaving in a manner that minimizes that negative feeling, they spiral out of control and do more to make themselves feel desperate.
Try to remember that inaction is often a powerful action.
It can make all the difference when you’re dealing with someone who is purposely ignoring you.
Related post: I always text him first, should I stop?
2. You’re rewarding poor behavior with your time and energy
I’ve come to learn that people will only treat you the way you allow them to.
That’s not to say that you have to cut off anyone who realizes their mistakes and wants to be better.
But, you must be willing to lay the rules for what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.
Rewarding someone with more of your effort after they ignore your texts doesn’t send across a good message.
If you keep texting them, it will become a habit that is hard to break.
Then, you’ll find yourself having a one-sided conversation in which you often get ignored or left on read.
This is not a healthy form of communication at all and you’ll eventually leave the interaction feeling resentful, annoyed or upset.
Related post: Is double texting bad?
3. They’re busy and need more time to reply
Sometimes, people read texts and don’t reply because they’re completely swamped and forget to text you back.
That’s perfectly okay. It actually does happen.
But, you’ll never know if you go ahead and text them again and again.
It’s better to state exactly what you want to say to them and then wait.
Even if you do send a double text with additional information, it’s fine as long as you then wait to hear back from them.
If they text you later explaining why they took so long to reply or they apologize for ignoring you because they had to deal with something, you’d have completely avoided any unnecessary drama or negative feelings.
4. You’re prone to losing control and escalating issues
I’m someone who can be over accommodating but also impulsive because I wear my heart on my sleeve.
This often puts me in silly situations that could have been avoided if I just exercised patience and did not try to force things to move forward.
If you are the type of person who is emotionally charged and you have a low tolerance for issues like this, don’t put yourself in a position to lose control and blow things out of proportion.
Just let them be.
Wait for them to reply.
That’s what you should do when someone ignores your text instead of chasing them and fighting.
If they don’t, think about whether you’re okay with leaving things as is or you need to say something to feel better.
But, don’t pursue this issue further if it’s going to escalate into something that ruins your day.
As they say, pick your battles.
If this person does not have any attachment to you, trust me that the response you get after reacting to them ignoring you will not be any better. If anything, you’ll walk away feeling worse.
5. They haven’t replied to you because they need more time to think
It’s not uncommon for someone to leave your texts on read when they haven’t gotten an adequate reply to you.
This is especially the case when there has been an issue and they still need to figure out how they feel or what they need to move things forward.
Just because you’re ready to talk doesn’t mean that they are.
Reacting to this negatively will not make things better.
Sometimes, patience pays off immensely and that very same person may reply to your texts in a positive manner that solves all issues.
But, that could have been ruined if you kept sending texts to the point of pestering or attacking them.
Give them enough time before you make a decision on what to do next.
Reasons why someone ignores your texts
Now that we have discussed what to do when someone ignores your text, let’s take talk about some of the reasons why they ignore your texts so that you can decide on the best course of action.
Related post: Do guys notice when you ignore them?
1. They’re angry at you
When someone is angry and wants to avoid a fight or feels like they’re not being heard or understood, they may stop talking.
It happens in real life just as much as it happens on text.
You need to think about whether you’ve done something to anger this person and whether your text deserves a response.
Also, keep in mind that they may be angry right now but intend on replying to you once they cool off to avoid getting into a bigger argument or fight.
2. The conversation has fizzled out
Unless you’re in a relationship of some sort, there really isn’t a need to beat a dying horse (which is the conversation in this case).
When things become too boring or pointless, some people tend to just forget to reply or choose not to because there’s nothing to be said.
It sucks when this happens but it’s not uncommon.
3. They’re not interested in talking to you
As difficult as this may be to acknowledge, not everyone you are interested in talking to wants to talk to you.
I had to learn and accept this as well.
It doesn’t mean that you’re deficient or less than worthy of someone’s time and energy.
You should just focus your energy on someone who does give a damn about talking to you rather than chasing after someone who isn’t interested.
This is especially the case when you’re interested in someone romantically and they keep ignoring your texts.
Related post: How to respond to ghosting
4. They’re not good at texting
Some people, like myself, are awful at texting. I’m very singular in focus and can’t multitask.
Maintaining and holding text conversations with many people is very difficult for me and it often results in a lot of unnecessary misunderstanding.
People who are not good at texting will probably leave your texts unanswered unintentionally.
They don’t mean to be rude and it’s not indicative of their interest level.
If you were in front of them, they would be more than happy to entertain a conversation with you.
Just because someone ignores your text doesn’t mean that they’re trying to be rude or cause a problem. And if they are, there’s probably a reason behind it.
But, what’s important to know is that you shouldn’t act in a manner that diminishes you as a person or causes more problems.
Give them a reasonable amount of time to reply to you.
If they don’t, you can choose whether to text them again or let it go.
Unless you’re being blatantly disrespected, I would caution you against taking on a confrontational tone when texting them again.
If you really don’t want someone to treat you haphazardly by ignoring your texts, the best way to teach them a lesson is to be indifferent.
Don’t lash out or try to gain their attention with more effort. This just makes them feel more important.
Unless, of course, making them feel important is what you need to do to fix the situation then definitely text them again.
With that being said, I hope you make use of the advice in this article on what to do when someone ignores your text. Feel free to share your opinions in the comment section below.
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