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What To Do If Your Ex Is Dating Someone New

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There are a few difficult and painful phases after a breakup and the last of them happens to be when your ex moves on. Most of us can’t help but feel heartbroken and abandoned when this happens. We’re not really equipped with proper knowledge of what to do if your ex is dating someone new. Here’s what I would do now after all my years of experience, studying and coaching.

When your ex is dating someone new, fear and anxiety are triggered which may influence you to act out of desperation. However, the best form of action is inaction for a situation like this. 

Firstly, don’t text or call your ex if you’re in no contact, don’t stalk your ex online, don’t put your jealousy on display, don’t make declarations of love for your ex and lastly, focus on your own dating life. 

It’s going to feel like you’re caught in a storm.

Trust me, I know what this feels like and it can mess with your ability to think rationally. 

You may even reach a point of abandoning self preservation in an attempt to do whatever it takes to get your ex back now.

This will not work and may result in you appearing to be desperate, crazy, possessive and psychotic. 

For this reason, I recommend that you avoid making any decisions for a while pertaining to your ex and just sit with these emotions.

Get some control of your feelings and when you’re able to think properly, I would suggest visiting your therapist or talking it through with friends or family who are adequately experienced with your best intentions in mind.

They’ll help by preventing you from doing something silly and out of character.

With that being said, let’s discuss exactly what to do if your ex is dating someone new so that you leave this article properly prepared to deal with this situation in the coming days and weeks.

Related post: Is my ex over me or just angry?

1. Don’t text or call your ex if you’re in no contact

It can be scary to imagine your ex is dating someone new while you’re still hoping for him or her to come back.

Thoughts of them forgetting about you can be overwhelming and the fear can quickly turn into a form of anxiety and obsession.

The idea of doing nothing torments you and these feelings plant a seed in your mind that inaction will ruin everything.

If you would like a step-by-step explanation on how to get an ex back or to re-attract someone who lost interest, grab a copy of my ebook called Reconcile. I put this guide together for serious students of the game who want to cut through the fluff and get results in their love life. Click Here To Check It Out! 

In reality, inaction is all you can do in this situation without getting rejected more or appearing desperate.

You cannot win your ex back by now making a grandiose confession when they’re dating someone new. 

They’re probably neck deep in the honeymoon phase and anything you say or do will amount to nothing good.

If I were you, I’d just leave things alone and stay in no contact.

It’s not going to be painless but embrace this rough patch completely.

This is the real form of no contact.

To choose to remain in no contact while your ex moves on is the ultimate test and greatest fear.

You’re in it now which means that you can literally experience what it feels like to actually move on with your life despite the fact that you assumed everything will be horrible for you if your ex moved on.

Use this situation to your advantage and close that old chapter completely so that you can create space in your life for a new chapter and a new partner. 

Related post: What to say before no contact with your ex

2. Don’t stalk your ex online

I’ve learned that rejection breeds obsession and now that your ex is dating someone new, I wouldn’t be surprised if you feel like he or she has inadvertently rejected you.

You may find yourself with all these questions and intrusive thoughts that just don’t stop.

Curiosity killed the cat and yet we will still indulge that curiosity by trying to find out what their new partner looks like and so forth.

This is our attempt at resisting reality which only brings about more suffering and pain.

We keep the story alive by inserting ourselves into their life by watching their online activity and that is just unhealthy and detrimental to your well being.

For this reason, I encourage you to avoid your ex or their new partner on social media.

Don’t allow temptation to rule your behavior because it will lead you down a path of emotional suffering.

Related post: Should I block my ex on social media?

3. Don’t put your jealousy on display to your ex

There’s nothing really attractive about jealousy, especially as a result of  your ex moving on.

People who are jealous tend to project their insecurities and show an ugly side to themselves which will not help their case at all.

You shouldn’t be talking trash about your ex or their new partner to them, on social media or to anyone who can’t be trusted.

If your ex catches wind of it, they’ll just look at you poorly while also smelling your jealousy from a mile away.

It doesn’t serve you in any possible way to express jealousy negatively online and to your ex. 

Related post: Why did my ex block me out of nowhere?

4. Do not make declarations of love for your ex now

There’s a great chance that you have remained in contact with your ex and opted to try the friendship route back into their heart.

Whether this works or not is a topic of continuous debate but for the most part, I’m of the opinion that it’s a bad idea unless you both are content with the split and moving on.

It can be tempting to give it one last shot at winning your ex back with a declaration of love in hopes of convincing them to leave this new person and come back to you.

Your mind will spin tales and create a narrative that makes you believe that this will work.

After all, we’ve watched chick flick movies that display this behavior with a positive outcome each and every time.

This is not realistic by any means and can result in an awkward rejection that leaves you feeling humiliated and in a ton of pain. 

Your ex will either view it as an ego boost or they’ll shut you down and possibly block you which will create even more feelings of pain and suffering.

Related post: 8 Signs my ex is over me and doesn’t care anymore

5. Focus on your own dating life

Here’s what to do if your ex is dating someone new, focus on yourself. 

The two of you are no longer in a relationship and your paths are no longer connected.

It might be difficult to fully accept that but what your ex does with his or her life is none of your business anymore and doesn’t need to have any bearing on your life.

Your primary focus can and should be on moving on and building a life of success and happiness.

You’re watching your ex live their life when you should be trying to live yours in the best way possible.

Think about this, every single time you went through a breakup and assumed that you’d never have a love story like the one you just lost, you end up finding another love story that eclipses what you had before.

This happens again and again to most people who focus on their own dating life versus those who fixate on what their ex is doing.

My advice to you would be this, let your ex date someone new and start fixating on your own life. 

Whether it is to be single or to date new people, be invested in yourself rather than your ex.

In conclusion

I know that it’s a shock to your system that your ex is dating someone new. Even though it crossed your mind, the reality of the situation still hurts.

You have to deal with those feelings of closing this chapter off once and for all.

Don’t get me wrong, just because your ex is dating someone new doesn’t mean that there wouldn’t be any hope for the two of you reconnecting.

But, it’s evident that they’re focusing on the future and moving on so why shouldn’t you do the same thing for yourself?

Don’t you think that you deserve the chance to have love in your life again?

Don’t you feel like you deserve someone who would choose you over others?

I think you deserve that and I think it’s time for you to use this event as motivation to move on in your own life.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on what to do if your ex is dating someone new to be insightful and practical. If you have any questions or thoughts on this topic that you’d like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.

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