It often surprises me how many men have no idea how to handle this situation. They invest so much time and effort into courting a woman and then have no clue what to do if she just wants to be friends.
If she wants to be friends, you have three options. Accept her offer, reject her offer by maintaining your desire to be romantically involved, or walk away entirely.
What you should never do is accept her offer to be friends in hopes of someday convincing her to be romantically involved with you. This is the typical mistake nice guys make.
You are essentially signing yourself up for torture, especially if you are not comfortable with just being friends.
With that being said, let’s take a closer look at the three best options for what to do if she just wants to be friends and which one is best for your situation.
Option 1: Accept her offer to be friends
Here’s the deal: if you are absolutely okay with the idea of removing romantic entanglement from the situation, then go right ahead. But before you do this, I want you to consider a few things.
- Are you going to be okay with the idea of her dating other men?
- Do you have strong romantic feelings for her?
- Will you be dating other women?
- Is friendship going to make you feel good?
If you are okay with her dating other men, which includes intimacy and so forth, then you should accept her offer to be friends.
But if this is something that will make you feel jealous, insecure, and upset, then prepare yourself because this will happen.
If you have strong feelings for her, then friendship won’t work. Refer to the above because you’ll definitely run into that problem.
Are you dating other women or intend on dating others? If so, then you’re not in a bad situation because the likelihood of you meeting someone else to focus on is high.
Close your eyes and try to imagine having nothing but a platonic friendship with this woman. Does it make you feel good?
If it doesn’t now, then it certainly won’t later on or when it actually happens.
Friendship is a viable option only if you are not emotionally attached to this woman.
Otherwise, you are signing yourself up to be, for lack of a better term, a cuck. For more information on why you can’t get a girlfriend, check out this article.
Option 2: Refuse friendship and counter with the option to remain romantic
This is a negotiation. Even though she may be attempting to change the status of the relationship dynamic, which she can do, you can turn this into a negotiation by countering with your offer.
So, in other words, if she wants friendship, you can say no to her offer and pitch her the following:
Let’s keep dating, take it slow, and see where things go, because I’m not interested in anything other than a romantic involvement with you.
It’s simple and to the point.
Now what you’ve done is knock the ball back into her side of the court. You’ve taken control of the situation, and now she has to decide whether to accept or reject your offer.
If she accepts, then that means she’s not entirely convinced that she isn’t romantically interested in you.
Which means that you have a genuine chance to change the situation.
Also, by giving her this option, you’re displaying confidence in yourself.
Other guys will cave and accept whatever she says or get butthurt.
You’re remaining indifferent and redirecting the relationship towards a destination that suits you.
Now if she refuses, then that leads us to our third and final option…
Option 3: Walk away
Corey Wayne says this, and I love it: “The greatest bargaining position is being able to walk away and mean it“.
That couldn’t be more true!
A change in the relationship dynamic is being propositioned for you, right? What do you do?
Someone who doesn’t understand attraction and negotiation may cave or beg.
That is the most counterproductive approach a man can take.
If you want to be completely friendzoned, accept her offer or beg. It will only confirm her decision to friendzone you.
The counter, which is to remain romantic or walk away, adds consequence to her action.
Now, she has something to lose.
Before, her offer of friendship allowed her to date other men while keeping you around in her life for whatever reason she had.
There’s no loss. She gains in that situation.
When you offer to walk away and actually do it, then she has obviously given up or lost something in exchange for her desire to change the relationship dynamic.
What this shows her is that you are confident, masculine, and not desperate. All of which will make her view you as being more attractive and sexy.
If you are willing to walk and actually do it, then you are already in a better position than the guys who choose to remain friends.
Walking away also increases the possibility of her reaching out to you again in the future when she either misses you, can’t find someone better, or realizes she actually does have a romantic connection with you.
Another advantage of walking away, if you don’t actually want to be friends, is that she will respect you for doing something other men would be too afraid to do.
Check out this article on how to move on after a breakup.
It’s truly the ultimate power move in this kind of situation.
Reasons Why She Only Wants To Be Friends
I briefly touched on this above, but it’s imperative for us to establish a deeper understanding of what makes a woman friendzone a man she once found attractive.
It’s the only way we can learn how to avoid this situation as much as possible.
There are a number of reasons, such as the following:
- She has lost her attraction for you based on certain things you’ve done.
- She’s interested in someone else.
- She has unresolved feelings for another man.
- She is afraid of getting too serious too fast.
- She wants to date other men without losing your presence in her life.
You have to step away from the situation for a moment and analyze the relationship objectively.
Figure out the exact point at which the relationship dynamic started shifting towards friendship.
What were some of the things you were saying and doing during that time? What about the things she did and said?
Analyze the interaction and try to connect the dots. Usually, they’ll lead toward one or more of the reasons mentioned above.
Essentially, an offer to be friends is just a nicely worded rejection. She obviously doesn’t want to hurt you.
So her idea of offering friendship is to minimize the blow. Furthermore, it’s a way of either stringing you along or keeping you as a fixture in her life while seeking out someone better.
Basically, she’s trying to gain as much as she can from the situation while minimizing the loss.
I mean, one cannot fault a person for pursuing the best possible outcome for themselves.
You have to look out for your own interests at this point.
When you walk away, you’ve essentially left the friend zone. Simple. But when I hear guys complaining about being stuck in the zone, it’s an immediate indicator to me that they don’t know what they’re doing.
If you truly understand the art of dating and attraction, you wouldn’t be stuck in any sort of real friendzone.
That’s just my viewpoint.
And if you are, then you really need to think about what you stand to lose by accepting the situation.
Not only are you losing the girl, but you’re also losing the opportunity to meet other women who are just as amazing, if not more.
You’re losing time, energy, and emotions to someone who has comfortably stuck you in a friendzone. They gain everything, and you lose everything.
My advice to you would be to study the content on this site or look up other great dating coaches like Corey Wayne.
Okay, so if you made it to this point in the article, you should have a complete understanding of what to do if she just wants to be friends, as well as why.
Please take everything I said into consideration and optimize your game to prevent it from becoming a common or bigger problem in your romantic life.
With that being said, head over to the comment section below and let me know what your thoughts are on the friendzone.