What Should You Look For In A Man? (Answered & Explained)

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If you want to maximize the chances of you meeting someone who will not only knock your socks off but treat you in the manner that you deserve, then you need to know what you should look for in a man.

Making a list of traits to look for in a man you want to marry seems like such an obvious thing to do and yet so many people overlook this necessary activity.

For this reason, I decided to share everything you need to know on what you should look for in a man. 

If your goal is to have a long term relationship that remains romantic, respectful and loving, then you need to make a copy of this list as soon as possible and use it to measure potential partners who enter your life.

  1. Honesty.
  2. Loyalty.
  3. Integrity.
  4. Discipline.
  5. Spontaneity. 
  6. Romantic.
  7. Good communication.
  8. Respect.
  9. Confidence.
  10. Loving and caring.
  11. Kindness.
  12. Polite.
  13. Strong willed.
  14. Hard working.
  15. Family orientated.

Trust me when I tell you that these traits in a man will almost certainly make him an ideal candidate for not just dating but marriage. 

Let’s carefully examine this list of qualities you should look for in a man. 

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Qualities Of A Good Man

1. Honesty

I’m sure everyone understands the importance of honesty in a relationship. It provides the foundation required to build a strong and long lasting connection. 

An honest man often provides emotional and intellectual security. 

You can take him at his word and believe the things he says about his feelings, thoughts and opinions.

Being able to rely on his honesty within the relationship provides the necessary safety you need to let your walls down and to love without constant fear, insecurity and concern.

In this state, you will find that a relationship with an honest man is easier to build.

Even during hardship, the ability to convey true emotion and thoughts helps a couple develop the tools and skills required to overcome obstacles and grow stronger as a unit.

None of this is possible if you are dealing with a man who lies. 

Related post: 15 Signs that a man is pursuing you

2. Loyalty

Being loyal isn’t just about honoring a commitment. True loyalty is the ability to choose to do what’s right over what’s convenient. 

Being loyal to your partner and yourself is invaluable in a relationship.

I believe that nobody is actually proven to be loyal until they have been tested. 

Some may fail a test but if they commit to being loyal and make all the effort in the world to remain honest and loyal, then that is when we can say that they are loyal.

Loyalty gives you peace of mind. 

A man with this quality is one who will honor his commitment to you despite temptation or circumstances that test him.

From distance to time apart, none of these issues will amount to a betrayal because he prides himself on being loyal to you and himself.

He would rather end the relationship than to betray you and that is something that will save the both of you from a lot of pain.

I haven’t spoken a lot about cheating on this site but I would be remiss not to point out that a mistake can be the turning point in someone’s life.

I don’t think people should be written off for a mistake, especially if they commit to being loyal.

But, if you find a man who is loyal from the get go and doesn’t entertain any level of cheating, even micro-cheating, then you have someone truly special and valuable. 

And if he wasn’t but chooses to be loyal and puts in continuous effort to being trustworthy, then, you still have a man who has some integrity in him. 

3. Integrity

It’s not always how a man behaves within a relationship that can destroy your life. It’s his behavior outside of the relationship that can affect you gravely. 

A man without integrity can often not be trusted. 

His lack of morals and values will influence his behavior in ways that can be often unpredictable.

A lot of women get attracted to the unpredictable nature of bad boys or bad men because it seems so exciting and almost dangerous.

The problem is that a low integrity man will always prioritize himself over others and at the cost of others.

For now, you’re not collateral damage until you are.

By then, it’s too late and you’ve been deceived, dumped for someone else, cheated on or roped into a life altering problem that affects you deeply. 

A man with integrity will treat you with respect.

He is the kind of man who will live by a code of ethics.

He will be a safe haven and someone you can rely on.

His integrity will guide him to do what’s right over what’s easy. 

A man of this nature is capable of not just being a good boyfriend but a good husband and father. 

Related post: 20 Qualities of a good man to marry

4. Discipline

This might seem like an odd one to include in a list of what you should look for in a man to be with romantically but I want you to think about something.

Don’t all relationships require some degree of sacrifice and hard work?

Do you want a man who is going to bail and jump ship at the first sign of trouble or do you want a man who understands how to apply himself constantly to improve the quality of your relationship?

That’s why it is so important for you to find a man who takes pride in being disciplined in at least one area of his life.

Being disciplined means that he knows how to prioritize what’s important. 

More importantly, he won’t sacrifice what’s important for the urgent or for instant gratification.

5. Spontaneity

The longer you’re with someone, the more likely it is that you’re both bound to fall into a bit of a routine.

He may get wrapped up in his work or goals and you may do the same. 

The thing is, if he makes an effort to be spontaneous and it’s something he is able to do early in the relationship, then you can at least work with that when things become predictable.

Routines can become boring and you don’t want to deal with a lazy guy who doesn’t want to try anything new the minute he gets comfortable in the relationship.

Granted, you shouldn’t expect him to always be this way but a bit of spontaneity can go a long way in keeping a relationship exciting and fun as time goes on. 

6. Romantic

What is considered romantic will differ from person to person.

He doesn’t have to necessarily be your textbook definition of romantic but he should be someone who wants to court you.

He should be open to doing some romantic things that make you feel loved and cherished, as will you.

A healthy relationship requires romance, irrespective of how long you are together for.

If he is romantic as a person, you can be sure that as time goes on and the two of you grow older together, the things he does in the relationship may change but he’ll find ways to be romantic.

Right now he may show up at your front door with flowers in hand to take you on a romantic date to some lovely restaurant but someday when you’re both old he may just be in a living room with you slowly dancing on a summer’s afternoon or sitting on a porch looking through photographs of all your memories.

Trust me, you want someone who sees the value in romance beyond just getting in your pants! 

Related post: 20 Signs he is developing strong feelings for you

7. Good Communication

Imagine if you were stranded somewhere without anything to do with your partner, apart from physical intimacy, wouldn’t you want to be able to talk with him?

Being able to just enjoy a conversation with a man who not only pays attention but offers some insight, opinions and thoughts about things.

You need someone who listens and expresses themselves to you in whatever form they can or else you’re going to feel quite alone in the relationship. 

8. Respect

To respect someone, we ought to be considerate of their boundaries and their feelings. It is to behave in a way that does not infringe on their boundaries and to show courtesy. 

A man who respects you will make an effort to consider how you feel before making any decisions. 

He will consult you and make you feel like your opinion matters because it does. 

He will also speak to you kindly, thoughtfully and with care.

If he isn’t respectful, then you’re going to end up feeling unappreciated and undervalued.

You’ll always be fighting a losing battle with him and at the first sign of conflict, you will be treated like an enemy instead of a loved one.

For this reason, it is important that you find a man who is respectful of others and of himself. 

9. Confidence

Confidence is sexy.

It’s alluring and it’s going to compel you to be around him in some way or another.

The thing about confidence is that it’s infectious.

Someone who feels good about themselves and doesn’t take themselves too seriously tends to make others feel good too.

They’re not trying to project their insecurity onto you and that can make a huge difference in your relationship.

A confident man knows what he wants, isn’t afraid to hold someone to a certain standard and doesn’t undermine his own worth.

You’ll be in a relationship that has a healthy dynamic because of his confidence. 

Related post: 10 Tips to make a man obsess over you

10. Loving and caring

Life can get tough and at some point or another, we’re all going to face loss and defeat. In those times, we need people who are nurturing, loving and caring to support us while we pick up the pieces.

When you have a man in your life who is loving and caring, he is going to make an effort to not just be supportive but comforting.

He will be a safe haven for you that will give you the motivation to push through hard times and to grow as a person.

Also, it’s important to note that the nature of a man will greatly affect his parenting skills.

Children need a strong but caring father, especially young girls. 

This will set the standard for the kind of men and relationships she has in her life.

Related post: 7 Obvious signs he likes you

11. Kindness

The way someone treats others, whether it’s people in the service industry and/or strangers is usually an indicator of how they would treat you in a similar situation.

People will usually show you their true colors during interactions like these so please pay attention when they do.

In other words, pay attention to what they do and not just what they say.

Kindness is a quality that is endearing.

It is usually associated with those who have a generous and caring heart. 

At the very least, it proves that he doesn’t value money more than he does people and that’s something to admire. 

12. Polite

Good manners and a polite nature are things that will save you from a lot of unnecessary drama, fights, arguments and embarrassment.

A polite man will not only speak to you with respect but also your family and friends.

He will make an effort to be considerate of what he says to you and them.

This will prove to be extremely helpful for the future because it will help to earn the support of the closest people in your life. 

13. Strong willed

Strong willed men are generally very dependable.

They are not afraid to face a hard battle and are willing to stand by their beliefs and code of ethics despite the push-back they experience.

A man with this quality will stand by you through thick and thin.

He will not abandon his morals or that which he values for just about anything. 

This driven and ambitious mindset will rub off on you and the kids you have. 

14. Hard working

At the end of the day, it makes sense to be with someone who at least takes pride in his effort.

A man who doesn’t use a lack of finances as an excuse for not trying to show up in life.

He’ll do his best and will not be lazy when it counts.

A hard working man is someone who will try to take care of his family.

Instead of looking for a rich man, look for a hard working man because when times get tough, he’ll show up and fight.

15. Family Orientated

If you’re looking for a forever after partner and you have dreams of starting your own family some day, it is imperative that you observe whether he is a team player and respects his family.

Trust me when I tell you that if a man can discard his own family for no reason or not consider their feelings at all, he’ll do the same to you and your future family with him.

Don’t be with someone with the hope of trying to change them.

Nobody changes unless they want to. 

Be that as it may, a man who treats his parents with respect, loves his family and has a healthy relationship with them is one who has the potential of being a good father and spouse. 

In conclusion

I know that this list may seem long winded and like a lot to ask for but you deserve a man who has these attributes.

Why settle for someone who will treat you poorly when you can find someone who will grow into the perfect lover with you?

I would rather take a long time to find the right person than waste precious years of my life on the wrong people. 

When you approach relationships with a growth mindset, you are bound to succeed provided you meet a man who has most of the traits/qualities discussed above.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on what you should look for in a man to be fun, insightful and helpful to you. Please feel free to share your questions or thoughts with me by visiting the comment section below. I hope you find the man you deserve by using the advice in this article.

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