The only way to nurture a long lasting relationship with your girlfriend is to talk to her. Good communication is non-negotiable in a relationship. But it also has to be the type of conversation that has a positive effect on her feelings for you. This begs the question, “What should I talk about with my girlfriend?”
In this article, I’m going to share a birds-eye view and a close-up view of what you should talk about with your girlfriend to foster closeness, intimacy, joy, and love. The principles in this article are easy to apply, and the 50 topics are known to be some of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend.
Thereafter, I’m going to share a list of tips on how to talk to your girlfriend to make her feel heard, understood, and loved.
You need to read this article: How often should you communicate with your girlfriend?
What Do Girls Like To Talk About?
One of my all time favorite books is How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
It taught me more about communication and networking than anything else I’ve read or seen in the past.
The number one idea to take away from this book is that people like to talk about themselves to people who are genuinely interested.
This appears to be most true in romantic relationships.
The greatest way to nurture intimacy, closeness and fondness is to sincerely express your interest in your girlfriend.
If you can make her open up about her thoughts, feelings, experiences, and opinions on a regular basis, she will fall head over heels in love with you.
More than anything else, women crave intimacy and attention.
They want to feel seen, heard, and understood.
Often, this is what influences a woman to fall in love with you early on. It also happens to be what keeps her in love with you later on.
To summarize: What should I talk about with my girlfriend? Talk about her. Inquire about her thoughts, feelings, experiences, and opinions. Show an interest in her life, the relationship, and in sharing yourself with her.
You need to read this article: How to have a healthy relationship that lasts a lifetime!
50 Things To Talk About With Your Girlfriend
1. Talk about her favorite memories.
Good memories evoke good feelings. It’s always a fun conversation to have with your girlfriend.
Not only will she enjoy sharing these memories with you, but it will give you a deeper look into the kinds of experiences she values and cherishes.
Use this knowledge to create new memories of your relationship for her to cherish.
2. Talk about her family.
A great way to learn about someone is to familiarize yourself with the people they are closest to.
Not only is it an easy topic to talk about with your girlfriend, but it’s something you can use as a tool for relatability with her.
Discussing family dynamics, family problems, or overall experiences with family can make a for an engaging conversation.
3. Talk about her college experience.
If your girlfriend is in college, nothing is going to interest her more than that.
Her life is going to revolve around that college experience, and you’ll have many things to ask about.
From her favorite subjects to the challenges of navigating higher education to the people she’s met and connected with, these are things that will keep her talking for hours about this topic, and she’ll enjoy it.
4. Talk about her years at school.
If college isn’t something you can talk about, those early days at school certainly are.
We all have some crazy stories and cringe inducing memories from our school days.
You could share stories from your days in school while asking her to share some of her standout memories.
Nostalgic memories can be an enjoyable topic to delve into with your girlfriend.
She’d enjoy learning about who you were in your younger years.
5. Talk about her future.
Most of the time, when people think about the past, they either feel happy and nostalgic or sad and depressed.
When people talk about the future, they either feel excited and hopeful or anxious and afraid.
If you set the tone of the conversation, talking about the future can be a wonderful topic of conversation with your girlfriend.
The key to building a close relationship with her is to get her to talk openly about her goals and dreams for the future while demonstrating genuine interest.
6. Talk about her feelings.
More than anything in the world, girls want to feel understood.
The way to a woman’s heart is through her feelings.
Men understand this early on. During the courtship phase, they learn how to say and do things to make a girl feel unique, heard, understood, and excited.
But, it’s during the relationship that men get lazy and stop making an effort to observe and understand her feelings.
You must always be observant of how your girlfriend feels.
If she appears bothered about something, talk to her about it.
If she has particular feelings toward something, talk to her about it.
Even if it seems mundane or silly to you, make an effort to understand how she feels about it because, I promise, if you don’t, your girlfriend will feel unloved and lonely in the relationship.
7. Talk about her opinion on things that matter to her.
Women want to feel involved in your life.
They want to have a say, not because it makes them feel in control but because it makes them feel like you care about their thoughts and preferences.
Stimulate her mind by bringing up interesting discussions about things, events and news relevant to the two of you.
When a woman feels like her opinions are wanted and she is safe to hold a particular position, her closeness and willingness to be open around you will drastically improve.
8. Talk about life lessons.
We all know that most women are overthinkers. I can’t think of a single woman in my life who wasn’t. My assumption is that reflection is often closely intertwined with emotional self-awareness.
Because women are emotional creatures, they are more prone to life examination.
You should talk about life lessons with your girlfriend.
Give her life experience some importance and I’m pretty sure that you’ll learn a lot more about her as a person. If you love her, knowing the story of how she became this person is something worth talking about.
9. Talk about her dreams and goals.
Other than feeling understood, what we crave from our partners is support.
We want to feel like our journey matters and that we are not alone in the pursuit of our greatest dreams and goals.
Most of the time, when you aspire for something great, uncertainty and doubt will plague you along the way.
Having the support and presence of your loved ones during the pursuit of greatness is immeasurable.
Ask your girlfriend about her dreams and goals. Inquire about why she has an interest in these things and what the journey has been like for her.
The conversation that flows from a topic about dreams and goals is always positive. It echoes with a high energy that stimulates attraction and feel-good vibes.
10. Talk about her struggles.
When your girlfriend appears overwhelmed and is clearly deep in thought, it’s a good idea to open her up.
She may be hesitant to open up, but work on getting her to share those thoughts and feelings.
Women are not always looking for us guys to fix their problems.
In fact, they resolve issues and figure out solutions by simply talking about their struggles and problems.
What you’ll notice is that your girlfriend will breathe a sigh of relief and appear much happier once she has been able to open up and share her struggles with you.
11. Talk about mutual interests.
If opposites attract, similarities and mutual interests are what glue a pair together.
Sharing mutual interests and values can have a profound bonding effect on a couple.
I’m aware that it is difficult to muster up genuine interest and ask questions about things that are outside your realm of understanding.
As a man, I have a hard time relating to women about certain things, like makeup or fashion.
That’s where mutual interests come into play.
These are the types of conversations that nurture the closeness and passion between you and your girlfriend.
12. Talk about her passions and hobbies.
It’s pretty common that people are invested in learning and sharing information about things or experiences they have an emotional attachment to.
Ask her to tell you more about her passions and hobbies.
Even if you know little about them, approach it from the perspective of a student.
This will help you ask interesting questions. It’s an easy way to participate in the conversation about her passions and hobbies.
13. Talk about the past without judgment.
We live in a society that demonizes a woman’s past. Unfortunately, it’s something that matters to most men.
Don’t ask questions if you can’t handle the possible answers.
But, if you want to talk about the past, do so with the intention of reserving your judgment. Even if you can’t help but feel judgey, keep it to yourself.
14. Talk about your relationship.
If you want to nurture and cultivate a long lasting relationship, it is important to focus on growth.
When you apply a growth mindset to relationships, it’s easy to remain open to constructive criticism.
Find out about her feelings towards your relationship. Speak about her level of happiness and her needs.
Ask her if there’s anything you can do to improve or make her feel more loved.
Far too many men make the mistake of assuming that once a woman is in love, she will always remain in love.
It takes consistent work and communication to keep a woman in love with you.
By asking her to talk about your relationship, there’s no need to shoot in the dark when you want to better serve her needs.
15. Talk about past relationships in a positive manner.
It’s inevitable that past relationships will come up in conversation with your girlfriend.
Either she’ll mention something about an ex or she’ll ask about your past relationships.
Be honest, but maintain a positive attitude towards past relationships.
The last thing you want is to come across as bitter and resentful.
Also, avoid insulting her ex. It’s better to not comment at all.
Talking about past relationships can give you an idea of what to do or not do in your relationship with her.
It may also provide you with warning flags that pertain to your girlfriend.
16. Talk about your dreams.
Ask any man who has experience with women to tell you about the one thing they are most attracted to, ambition will be the most common answer.
There’s something magnetic, powerful, and confident about a man who has a dream and the passion to pursue it.
Women look up to men who have ambition, and it’s a great way to express your masculinity in a positive and uplifting manner.
Also, women want to feel like they are part of your journey.
At the very least, update your girlfriend on what drives you on a daily basis.
17. Talk about your appreciation for her when warranted.
I’m of the opinion that love should not be withheld in a relationship.
I know that many people focus on love languages, but we should never overlook the importance of vocalizing love and adoration.
Make your girlfriend feel special, romantic, and adored by talking about how valuable she is to you.
The key is to be spontaneous and unpredictable in your praise.
Most importantly, be genuine and sincere.
18. Talk about your feelings when appropriate.
Okay, so, feelings are different from adoration and love.
Sometimes, you may need to share feelings of annoyance, sadness, confusion, and/or disappointment with your girlfriend.
Even if she is the reason for these feelings, let her know how you feel and what caused you to feel this way.
The goal isn’t to be argumentative.
On the contrary, you can be diplomatic and completely calm when expressing your feelings.
But, you also want to clue her in on what things or behaviors are good and bad in the relationship.
If all you project is happiness, even when you don’t feel happy, boredom will set in. Women enjoy experiencing a wide range of emotions.
As long as you’re not being childish about it, talk about your feelings with your girlfriend.
19. Talk about things that make her feel understood.
To show your girlfriend that you pay attention to what she says, circle back to previous conversations you’ve had with her in the past.
One of the most common complaints a woman has with her boyfriend is that he doesn’t pay attention to her or listen to her.
What makes her feel heard and understood are conversations that you initiate about things she has already talked to you about.
20. Talk about your struggles with her only when she asks.
The last thing you want is to turn your girlfriend into a therapist for your problems.
For some time, your girlfriend will be supportive and understanding.
But if all you do is complain about how hard life is without making an effort to change things, she’s going to lose trust in your ability to lead.
When your girlfriend asks you to open up about your struggles, that’s a good time to talk about them.
21. Talk about her friends.
We are the sum total of the five closest people to us.
It makes sense, then, to learn about your girlfriend’s circle of friends.
You want to know who is on your side and who could be a negative influence or a fake friend for your girlfriend.
But, on a general note, it’s something your girlfriend will want to talk about.
Whether she wants to confide in you or complain about her friends, it’s a good topic to bring up from time to time, especially when she seems bothered by them or after she meets with them.
22. Talk about her job.
If you’re dating a working girl, work will take up a large portion of her time.
It’s 2022; everyone probably has a job or occupation.
Because it makes up a large portion of someone’s day, talking about their job or business can allow a conversation to flow better.
Also, people like to complain to willing participants in a conversation.
Perhaps this could be a great way to help your girlfriend blow off some steam so that she can lean back into her fun and cheerful feminine frame.
23. Talk about her coworkers.
Women, for the most part, are social creatures.
They enjoy being around people or talking to people.
Granted, I know that there are women who are more introverted and prefer to keep to themselves, but the majority seems to enjoy socializing.
Also, they’re incredibly competitive with each other.
All of these factors can make for an interesting dynamic between coworkers.
It’s a great thing to talk about.
Then there’s the issue of male coworkers.
Believe it or not, a significant number of relationships begin in the workplace. A lot of cheating scandals also begin in the workplace.
You may want to learn which male coworkers frequently hang out with your girlfriend and what the vibe is.
As guys, we know how slimy other men can be.
So, it’s good to at least be aware of which guy is trying to worm his way closer to your girlfriend.
24. Talk about the media she likes to consume.
Movies, music, books, and the like are all things worth talking about with your girlfriend.
It’s not necessarily going to make for the most titillating conversation on the planet, but you can use this to gain ideas on what kind of movies or gifts to get her in the future.
Half the time, girls are watching true crime documentaries on Netflix, so it’s not like you can’t have interesting conversations about what they consume for entertainment.
25. Talk about the media you like to consume.
When it comes to talking about this stuff, you want to be selective.
Bring up movies, books, or shows that inspire passion within you.
Think of the kind of media that excites you.
Think of it like a sales pitch, because what I know is that women find it attractive when a man expresses passion.
Even if you are an avid sports fan, clue her in to what you’re following and be vocal about your interest.
She may not understand it, but she’ll respect it.
26. Talk about her values and ethics.
More than attraction, it takes compatibility and shared values to make a relationship work.
You need to understand the moral compass that guides your girlfriend.
It’s not just about spotting red flags.
The goal is to understand what she may need from you and what kinds of actions could violate her boundaries in an irreparable manner.
At this point in my life, if I have someone, it’s with the intention of starting a family with that person.
I need to know that the woman in my life is going to be a good mother figure for my future children.
You need to be on the same page, and it’s always recommended to have a conversation about values and ethics.
27. Talk about deal breakers.
While we’re on the topic of values, it is imperative that you both talk about deal breakers.
Too many couples ruin what could have been a beautiful relationship by not expressing their boundaries.
I used to be someone who was far too afraid to bring up this conversation.
In doing so, people would do things that violated my trust because they were unaware of what I was unwilling to tolerate.
It is crucial that you share your boundaries with her while inquiring about hers.
You need to be the leader, and leadership requires you to create a safe environment for certain rules and limitations to be drawn up to preserve what you both share.
28. Talk about what you both need from the relationship.
Other than boundaries and deal breakers, talk about needs and wants with your girlfriend.
I highly recommend that you read a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
- Words of affirmation.
- Quality time.
- Acts of service.
- Physical touch.
All of us have an inclination or propensity to feel satisfied through different forms of love.
Find out which of these five love languages resonates most with your girlfriend, and share your love language with her.
This way, you can love her in a way that truly fulfills her needs, and vice versa.
29. Talk about relationship goals.
A person who lives a life without goals and ambitions will never taste the greatness of growth and fulfillment.
The same could be said for relationships.
Unless you are working towards growth, you are slowly dying.
A relationship needs goals to thrive. It can never remain unchanged. You both will be growing as individuals, but to remain together, you must actively work towards growing together.
Have a plan for where the relationship is going.
You don’t have to look too far into the future, either.
But talk about relationship goals with your girlfriend.
It’s a nice little way of letting her know that you’re committed to this relationship.
30. Talk about traveling.
Traveling is wonderful.
Everyone, to some degree, has an interest in traveling.
If your girlfriend has traveled much before, talk to her about those experiences. Usually, memories of traveling are extremely heartwarming and joyful, so it’s a good conversation starter.
If she hasn’t traveled, you can pick her brain on the kinds of places she’d like to visit.
Do the same as well.
Let her know where you’ve been and which places you plan to visit with her in the future.
Create some excitement and anticipation for what the future holds by lightly touching on the types of places you want to experience with her.
31. Talk about what kind of married life she wants.
I like to think that every girl has had a dream of being married at some point or another.
If she’s in a relationship with you, I’m sure that she has fantasized about married life with you.
Bring it up in a casual manner.
Don’t scare her off by talking about marriage within weeks of being in a relationship, though.
But, as time goes on, just ask her random questions about what she dreams about when she thinks about being married.
32. Talk about things you have in common.
Building rapport with someone is simple if you can figure out things that you share in common.
Whether it’s similar feelings towards liking or disliking something, you can win people over by relating to them.
With your girlfriend, it shouldn’t be too difficult to talk about things you have in common.
Even if you have different interests, your shared experiences create conversations that are relatable.
If the two of you are very similar, then you should have an abundance of things to talk about.
33. Talk about things you disagree on.
If you can discuss views without being insulting or demeaning, conversations about differences in views can be exciting.
Additionally, they can build sexual tension.
There’s something fun about having a respectful and exciting verbal spar with your partner.
When you disagree about something with someone, that’s when you stand the greatest chance of learning something new or teaching something new.
Women are simply not entertained by men who do not have a backbone.
I’m not telling you to be argumentative.
I’m simply advising you to remain true to who you are. There’s no need to change all your views just to agree with your girlfriend.
34. Talk about silly things.
If you can make your girlfriend laugh, half the battle is won.
In relationships, women want romance, support, and fun.
They’re not as complicated as we guys make them out to be.
Don’t take yourself too seriously at times.
Let loose and have a good time. Tease her a bit. Come up with silly jokes. Be a bit of a goofball at times.
35. Talk about your futures with each other.
Mostly when she brings it up.
That’s the key.
To avoid moving too fast or scaring your girlfriend off, talk about your future together or serious labels when she hints about them or brings them up.
If she’s looking for guidance in the relationship, give it to her.
Be willing to have a conversation about the future to provide direction and comfort to your girlfriend.
36. Talk about her day.
It’s such a simple topic to talk about with your girlfriend, but most of us pass it over with disinterest.
Find out what happened today, how she felt, what she worked on, and what’s on her mind.
Simple questions about current events provide relevant topics to talk about with your girlfriend.
When talking about her day, don’t be dismissive or disinterested.
Pay attention to what she’s saying, and give her your undivided attention.
37. Talk playfully about things you want to do with her.
You have to keep the spark alive in your relationship, especially as a man.
Women want to feel like they are in a love story.
Don’t assume that there’s no need to be playful, flirty, and naughty with your girlfriend.
Court her during the relationship in the same way you did during the early days of pursuing her.
38. Talk about your fears.
I am of the opinion that it is unhelpful for a man to be a slave to his emotions.
Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself won’t change anything.
Living life without courage will not remove your fears.
But, there’s a time and place for being vulnerable.
There is a great deal of benefit in being able to open up about your fears, especially if it is to seek counsel and support to push forward and conquer them.
Talking about your fears with your girlfriend can be a conversation that sparks closeness, trust, and vulnerability.
39. Talk about embarrassing moments or experiences.
In the spirit of being vulnerable and playful, why don’t you talk about embarrassing moments or experiences with your girlfriend?
Have a laugh about it.
If it’s a sensitive topic, just share these memories with each other to build trust and acceptance.
At the same time, it’s often in failure and embarrassment that we find some of the most interesting stories to share.l
40. Talk about your job or business.
Given that ambition is a trait women absolutely love in a man, it only makes sense to talk about your work or business.
As a man, you should be pursuing your purpose and striving to make yourself a man of value.
It doesn’t necessarily have to amount to monetary wealth.
As long as you are working hard, you have passion, and there’s meaning in your life, you are a man with ambition.
Talk about what you are trying to accomplish, what you are dealing with currently, and what you have overcome.
Give her a peek into your ability to overcome hardship and weather the storms of life.
She’ll gain a lot more respect and faith in you as long as you are not bragging or being obnoxious.
41. Talk about what kind of mother she wants to be.
I feel like it is important to have a conversation about parenting early on to make sure that your girlfriend is on the same page as you.
Far too many people sacrifice having children in order to be with someone, only to resent them later.
If you want kids, find out if she does as well.
Inquire about the kind of parenting style she’d like to adopt and what her thoughts are on raising a family.
42. Talk about what kind of father you want to be.
In the same breath, you should also be willing to open up about what kind of father you want to be.
If you don’t have any intention of being a father, be sure to voice that to your girlfriend.
These are important conversations to have because you don’t want to spend years or decades with someone only to realize that you’re not on the same page about having children at all.
43. Talk about her proudest moments or achievements.
I’ve noticed that when I talk about someone’s achievements, they feel valued and good about the recognition, and I feel good to be in the company of someone who takes personal pride in hard work.
There’s something enjoyable about reliving someone’s greatest moments.
It builds adoration and nurtures respect among couples, which is why I think that it makes for an interesting conversation to talk about with your girlfriend.
44. Talk about the first time you both met.
Reliving the courtship phase of a relationship is so much fun.
Asking your girlfriend to share her perspective and interpretation of events can make for a fun, enjoyable, heartwarming, and wonderful conversation.
When looking at the past, it’s a good idea to reflect on good events shared with each other.
Ask her about what she was thinking or feeling during those early days of falling in love with each other.
45. Talk about spirituality.
I believe in the soul.
I feel like a strong connection with spirituality is often tied to love, kindness, and acceptance.
Why don’t you bring up a conversation about what your girlfriend believes in.
Find out what she does to connect with her soul and if she believes in it. If she doesn’t, you could even talk about that.
On the same note, talking about religion also makes for a compelling conversation, as long as you remain respectful and open minded with each other.
46. Talk about her favorite foods.
I can’t think of anyone that I have met who isn’t fond of food. I know, I know, we all eat. But, having a passion for food is slightly different.
If your girlfriend is a fan of eating or the two of you spend a lot of time out at restaurants, why not talk about her favorite foods?
Perhaps, you could ask her questions about what cuisine she’d like to eat, who is her favorite cook in the family, and so forth.
You could get a few good date ideas from a conversation about food.
47. Talk about her worries.
We all have worries that plague us from time to time.
Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of air time to ease the burden of these worries and concerns.
If it appears like your girlfriend is deep in thought or bothered about something, sit her down and talk about it.
Don’t just walk away when she says she’s fine. If anything, keep asking until she opens up about her worries.
48. Talk about her health or self-care habits.
Don’t comment on it.
Just inquire about what she does to take care of her health.
If your intention is to learn or to be supportive, then talk about it.
Also, if your girlfriend is clearly a lover of health and fitness, she must have a passion for it.
Why not talk about it and give her the floor to share some of the things she’s working on or doing to be healthy and happy?
49. Talk about dislikes or turn-offs.
I am of the opinion that I would much rather be told that certain habits or actions are unattractive so that I can alter them than to simply turn off my girlfriend because she won’t share her feelings.
Have a conversation about these things.
In the same breath, be sure to talk about the things that are a turn-on.
I’m not even referring to this in a sexual manner at all.
I’m talking simply in terms of attraction and interest.
You want to be aware of what things work to your advantage and what things work to your disadvantage.
50. Talk about zodiac signs.
I am absolutely generalizing when I say this, but a lot of women are into zodiac signs.
They read up on this stuff regularly and believe in the tales of the stars.
What’s interesting is that there are predictions made almost weekly about zodiac signs.
You should talk about this with your girlfriend. Find out what the predictions are for her zodiac sign this month, and enjoy the conversation that flows from these predictions.
You need to read this article: How to make a girl think about you!
How To Talk To Your Girlfriend (Make Her Feel Heard)
I don’t want to waste your time with unnecessary information. So, I’ve decided to summarize my most effective tips for talking to your girlfriend.
The goal behind every conversation is to connect and share.
Keep that in mind when you are spending time with your girlfriend. It’s so easy to get lazy in a relationship, so I make it a habit to remind myself why someone is important to me. This helps me to be more attentive and present in conversations.
- Listen to her. Don’t interject or talk over her whenever she’s trying to open up to you. Make eye contact and affirm that you understand what she’s saying.
- Remember details from important conversations. Be proactive. Don’t wait until your girlfriend begins to doubt that you pay attention to her to actually start listening to her. Show her indirectly that you are attentive by recalling details from earlier relevant conversations.
- Do things for her that are a callback to earlier conversations. In the same vein of recalling details and being proactive, use the information she gives you to create good experiences for her.
- Give her your undivided attention. When she is trying to feel your presence, put aside what you’re doing and acknowledge her. If you’re busy, let her know that you are and then show up later with your undivided attention.
- Don’t be judgmental and rude. Your girlfriend will close up and distance herself from you if she feels like being around you isn’t a safe space for her to be herself. Avoid criticizing her or insulting her.
- Stay off your phone. The quickest way to make your girlfriend feel unimportant is to sit on your phone when she’s trying to get your attention. Don’t do it.
- Ask questions that open her up. Open ended questions require details. So, whenever you can, ask her to share details about her feelings, thoughts or opinions.
- Be positive and strong. For your girlfriend to feel safe and protected to open up about her feelings, especially when she’s vulnerable, you need to be in your masculine frame. She needs to trust that you can be the rock in her life.
- Make her laugh or smile whenever it’s appropriate. Women want to have fun and they are most likely to enjoy your company when they are laughing. Don’t take yourself too seriously all the time. Rather than constantly telling her how much you love her, show her by making her feel good around you.
- Express your love and adoration to her spontaneously. It’s so easy to fall into a routine with your girlfriend. Don’t diminish the value of loving words by throwing them around like a free for all. Instead, express your love sincerely and spontaneously. She’ll love it. Routines are too boring for relationships.
You need to read this article: How to make a girl happy!
This brings us to the end of this article on what you should talk about with your girlfriend.
Refer back to this article from time to time. It’s always a good idea to court your girlfriend as if she weren’t.
Take her out on dates, play the flirtatious game, and keep expressing your sincere desire to get to know her.
With practice, this stuff will become second nature to you.
Also, there’s no reason why you can’t circle back to topics over time. It’s not like you only need to talk about something once.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on “What should I talk about with my girlfriend?” I strongly recommend that you check out this eBook I wrote that explains everything you need to know about how to get the girl of your dreams and keep her in love with you.