You got dumped, and you started chasing your ex and declaring your undying love for her only to find out that she changed her number. It stung and sent you down a toxic spiral of self-pity and fear. Now, you’re laying on your bed struggling to find the right answer to the following question, what should I do if my ex changed her number?
Do nothing. If your ex changed her number with the intention of getting away from you, let her go. Don’t seek out new methods of contacting her because that will make you appear to be desperate, insecure, obsessive and weird.
The worst thing you can do to get an ex back is chase after them.
Nothing beats that.
When you’re heartbroken or obsessed about your ex, it’s difficult to see things clearly, let alone correctly.
You’re probably under the assumption that more declarations of love are the ideal reaction to being dumped or left.
It isn’t.
What you must understand is this, your ex will not be with you just because you’re in love with her.
She has to be in love with you!
Does it make sense to spend all day and night contacting her to express your undying love to win her back?
No.
It doesn’t make sense when you detach from the situation and analyze things from an outside perspective.
The only situation that warrants effort towards convincing someone of your feelings is if they left you because those feelings were in question.
In other words, you provided absolutely no emotional satisfaction to your ex and she left you because of it.
Alternatively, you betrayed your ex in some way and made her feel unloved, undesirable and unappreciated.
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In that case, making an effort to win her back would not be an unreasonable reaction.
For every other situation, you should not be chasing after your ex.
But you know what, I think that if your ex changed her number, you’ve probably tried to win her back already.
Perhaps, you’re the reason why she changed her number.
So, in that case, there’s no scenario in which I would advocate for you to continue chasing her or reaching out.
Continuing to contact her through other means would completely destroy any and all chances of possibly winning her back someday.
In fact, you could find yourself in some serious legal trouble by obsessively contacting an ex who made it clear to you that she doesn’t want to communicate.
The last thing that you want is to be dealing with a case of harassment or stalking.
This is why it’s so important for men to develop emotional self-control.
You cannot avoid rejection or breakups in life. It’s going to happen. You’re going to lose a woman you love.
Preparing for that reality and experiencing the suffering of loss can be greatly beneficial if you channel those emotions positively and productively.
I would argue that chasing an ex and begging her to take you back is not a positive or productive use of those emotions.
Don’t get me wrong, you’ll experience the desire and it will hurt.
You will experience many moments of doubt and an overwhelming desire to do something that could reattract your ex.
But, instead of caving to your emotions, think rationally and logically.
What could you do to channel all these emotions towards something that can make you become a stronger, smarter, healthier, richer and kinder man?
Make a list of things you could do with your time and emotions.
Then, whenever you are suffering and tempted to chase your ex or contact her, do one of those activities.
At first, it will require a ridiculous amount of willpower, effort and self-control to do what you have to do.
But, as time passes, it will become easier to make better decisions instead of contacting your ex whenever you miss her, think about her or feel lonely.
You need to read this article: Should you block your ex on Whatsapp?
What To Do If She Changed Her Number
1. Don’t contact her again
For someone to miss you and reconsider their decision to leave, they must experience the effects of silence.
Being apart is one thing, having zero communication with someone is an entirely different thing in this day and age.
With the ease of access, it’s difficult to avoid the urge to seek out instant gratification online.
This is why it’s so difficult for men to use the no-contact rule. But, the implication of this struggle is that it must have some kind of benefit.
It just so happens that no contact is the most effective way to make someone miss you. It’s also the best way to give yourself the necessary space and time to detach from your ex.
Simply stop trying to contact your ex on any social media.
You need to read this article: 12 Reasons why you should block your ex
2. Remove all reminders of her from your environment
Like an addict, a man who is dumped will experience withdrawal symptoms from his relationship.
There’s a great deal of pain and suffering involved in breakups, as you probably know.
Keeping pictures, videos, gifts and other reminders of your ex will trigger those withdrawal feelings even more than normal.
You have to treat yourself like a recovering addict.
Reduce anything that’s going to make it difficult for you to detach from your ex and move on.
You need to read this article: Should I delete photos of my ex?
3. Join the gym or join a sports club
As most of you know, it’s a cliche that men hit the gym after a breakup.
But, just because it’s a cliche doesn’t mean it’s a stupid decision.
On the contrary, it’s one of those cliches that have a great deal of merit.
The gym or a sports club helps you to channel painful emotions into self-development.
Rather than allowing that energy to overwhelm you to the point of seeking out vices, you’ll tire yourself out on a daily basis at the gym.
You won’t even have the energy to ruin yourself with sex, alcohol or drugs.
That’s a win and a big step in the right direction.
In time, you’ll develop a better physique or create a healthier routine with like-minded individuals around you.
This will uplift your mood and mental health significantly.
All the results from gyming or sports are a surefire way of rebuilding confidence after a breakup or rejection.
It’s a net positive that can only improve your life and chances of connecting with better women in the future.
4. Learn how to surrender to your emotions
As many of my long-time readers know, I’m a huge fan of the book Letting Go by David R. Hawkins.
Throughout my life, I struggled to deal with emotions.
It would either make me sick or influence me negatively.
This book changed my life.
Finally, for the first time in my life, I learned and understood emotions. I am not my emotions or thoughts.
Which means that I could experience my emotions without letting them control me.
To do that, you simply have to surrender to your emotions. Don’t express it, don’t repress it and don’t escape it.
Sit with your emotions for some time, don’t judge them as good or bad, let them pass through you and eventually, they’ll begin to run out.
The key is to continue with your life irrespective of how you feel.
So, if you made a commitment to exercise daily, show up to exercise even if you were feeling sad, depressed or defeated.
The way to control your emotions is to simply control what you do in spite of how you feel.
You need to read this article: Can you force yourself to stop loving someone?
5. Start talking to new girls
When you feel like enough time has passed and you no longer experience dread or incredible sadness, it may be time to start talking to new people.
You don’t have to rebound or jump into the deep end of the pool.
Enter slowly and build some confidence through practice.
Start by greeting attractive women around you and asking them how they feel today.
It’s a simple activity that builds social skills.
But, it serves another purpose.
You’re directing your mind and focus toward other women. In other words, you’re creating a regular reminder that there are other women out there who are attractive and compelling.
It’s hard to catastrophize over the past when you’re constantly exposing yourself to the possibilities of the future.
I recommend that you check out my eBook guide for men. It contains a comprehensive system for getting the girl of your dreams and keeping her. Click here to grab a copy.
6. Be useful and of service to others
Recently, I read a book called Ikigai which teaches the secrets of Okinawans who live well into a century.
At the very center of their existence is purpose.
In other words, they wake up every morning with purpose in their heart.
More than happiness, fulfillment is the product of purpose.
The best way to find your purpose in life as a man is to identify what you can be good at and find a way to make it helpful to society.
Watch how your life transforms by seeking out fulfillment over any other emotion.
It’s extremely difficult to be ungrateful or to remain depressed over an ex when you are contributing to other people and making an impact in the world, even if it’s small.
A side effect of being a man with purpose is that it’s highly attractive to women.
You need to read this article: How to let go of an ex you still love
7. Readjust your life plan
Chances are such that you were imagining a future with your ex or you were already on the way to making that future a reality.
Now, she’s gone and you’re left with a future that is missing a key character.
Continuing with that plan may result in excessive pain and reminders of your ex.
Perhaps, it may be a good idea to alter your future plans and create a new one without her that inspires you to feel hopeful.
Remove the image of her from this future plan and just leave a space open for your future wife.
That could help you deal with the loss and inspire you to remain dedicated to your future with hope.
You need to read this article: How to stop overthinking about someone
8. Surrender to time and fate
Altogether, the tips above are going to make a huge difference in how you feel.
The compulsion to contact your ex will significantly diminish if you apply the advice I’ve shared with you.
But, if you really want to experience the maximum benefit of all these things, you need to be consistent.
Consistency requires us to surrender ourselves to the process.
The process is dependent on time and fate.
In other words, show up and do what you must but that is as far as your contribution goes. The rest of the process requires time and fate to work its magic.
I promise you, 99% of the time, it does.
- In time, you’ll feel good again.
- In time, you could get your ex back.
- In time, you will move on and find someone new who knocks your socks off.
But, you have to be consistent and patient.
I promise you that life will work for you if it’s in your control to exercise some courage and bravery to trust in the process.
Will She Contact You Again?
More often than not, exes come back and contact you.
I’ve seen it happen countless times.
As long as you haven’t destroyed all trust or respect, your ex will eventually contact you.
She may not want to get back together but she’ll reach out.
But, for now, what she does is none of your business because you have no control or influence over this situation.
The only thing you have control or influence over is yourself and what you do during this time.
Become the best version of yourself.
You’d never regret it.
Not in a million years.
Show your ex what she’s missing out on.
Use that as motivation to fuel you during those low moments.
You need to read this article: Will she come back after dumping me?
Final Thoughts
Every failure is a lesson. I believe this to be the case in relationships. Whenever you face rejection or a breakup, there’s something to be learned that can benefit you tremendously as a man or as a partner.
Seek out that lesson and you’ll never feel like a failure.
You’ll only get better and you’ll improve your love life significantly.
Men who use rejection and failure as an excuse to feel sorry for themselves miss out on valuable lessons.
It’s the greatest gift you can get from loss.
I’d like to know, what lesson have you learned from your ex changing her number?
Has it taught you how over-pursuit, desperation and unwarranted declarations of love ruin attraction?
If it hasn’t, perhaps you need to spend some time reflecting on what happened.
With that being said, I hope this article helped you to figure out what you should do if your ex changed her number. But, if you’d like my help, then check out my services page for information on my email coaching package. I’ve helped countless men get their ex back. I’ve also helped them move on and find better women.