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What Makes A Man Obsessed With A Woman? (Answered)

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what makes a guy obsessed with a girl

When you spend as much time as I have consulting with men who need relationship advice, you end up with an incredibly detailed view of what makes a man obsessed with a woman.

There are two things that make a man obsessed with a woman: rejection or high compatibility. For as long as we have an ego, rejection will always hurt and breed obsession, albeit temporarily, in the average person. In the case of compatibility, ticking all the boxes of what constitutes the perfect woman is what makes a man obsessed.  

Here’s a quick disclaimer before we proceed: Obsession in most forms is unhealthy and dangerous. 

Men and women should not be obsessed with each other because it goes against the very nature of love, which is often freeing.

In fact, it was Maya Angelou who famously said that one must love in such a way that the other person feels free. 

I receive emails on a daily basis from men who cannot stop thinking about someone. More often than not, they appear obsessed with a woman who is clearly everything they ever wanted or a woman with whom they were once involved but lost. 

Whenever rejection comes up, men tend to lean towards obsession, unless they are the type of individuals who have a healthy outlook on rejection.

I’m hoping that by researching this topic, you are interested in the loose interpretation of obsession. In other words, how to make a man think about you all the time and want to be with you.

If so, then the following advice will be useful to you!

You need to read this article: Why do no guys like me?

How To Make A Man Obsess Over You

how to make him obsessed with you

To make a man ”obsess” over you, don’t chase him. 

It’s that simple. 

If you can control yourself and maintain some healthy space during the courtship or relationship, he’ll think about you all the time.

There is nothing more sexy or attractive to a man than a woman who is secure. 

If you would like a step-by-step explanation on how to get an ex back or to re-attract someone who lost interest, grab a copy of my ebook called Reconcile. I put this guide together for serious students of the game who want to cut through the fluff and get results in their love life. Click Here To Check It Out! 

  • Do you feel secure in your own skin? 
  • Are you secure about the relationship? 
  • Do you feel secure about your worth as a person?

These are the types of questions to reflect on before you try to do anything with a man. 

Far too many relationships are destroyed due to a lack of security and self worth. 

Doubt, anxiety, fear, and insecurity can be dealt with by developing a healthy relationship with yourself.

  1. Change the way you view yourself. 
  2. Choose empowering words to describe yourself when you think about yourself.
  3. Be kind to yourself during hardship.
  4. Remind yourself of what you deserve. 

If you can practice that on a daily basis, especially when you feel low and sad, that’s when the magic happens. 

You’ll begin to act differently around men when your mentality and attitude about your worth change. 

It’s easier to move with confidence and grace when you are not attached to the idea of validation from others. 

  • You won’t freak out over small things. 
  • You won’t blow up his phone all day.
  • You won’t throw yourself at him when he appears uncertain. 
  • You won’t beg him for a relationship too soon.
  • You won’t text him all the time when he ignores your texts.
  • You won’t entertain disrespect. 

If I think about a woman I was ‘obsessed’ with during my teen or early adult years, it was often those who appeared hard to get.

Not because they were rude, stuck up, or disinterested. 

But, because they owned their space, they had self respect, took care of themselves, were confident, and weren’t afraid to be who they were.

In my mind, I thought that if loving herself translated into such wonderful behavior towards herself, imagine what it would feel like to have that love directed at me.

And when it was, believe me, I felt absolutely incredible. 

The way I viewed these women played a role in this. And the fact that they lived up to a lot of my expectations was enough to create these feelings of “obsession.” 

You need to read this article: How to make him miss you like crazy

Unhealthy Obsession In Men

men who are obsessed with a woman

Men who have been deprived of any validation or attention their entire lives tend to be prone to obsession if they adopt a negative outlook on relationships.

With the rise of “incels,”  it has become apparent that individuals with mental health issues coupled with unrealistic views on romance and attraction are susceptible to obsessiveness.

I’ve seen men who were single their entire lives turn obsessive over someone they idolized. But, it wasn’t just the idolization that led to obsession. Rejection is a secondary factor that triggers the true obsession.

Years go by, and these men continue to talk about the women they idolized but who rejected them.

Their entire life narrative is shaped by the desire for love and personal rejection.

In other words, they become obsessed with women while preaching their doctrine of hatred or dismissal of women.

It may sound like a cliche, but a balanced outlook on relationships is optimal.

What you want is a man who desires you but doesn’t need you.

Obsession may provide some degree of validation, but it pales in comparison to love. 

Love doesn’t only seek to possess. Instead, love seeks to give. It is a state of being motivated by the expression of care, consideration, acceptance, and comfort.

Obsession only seeks to possess that which it has idolized. Ironically, it doesn’t even truly understand the true nature of what it yearns for.

That’s the problem with obsessive men.

They are fixated on an idea or fantasy rather than reality.

Don’t let silly social media posts fool you into believing that obsession is gratifying or wholesome.

A loving man with boundaries and emotional self control is the type of man you can build a future with.

Final Thoughts

I hope that after reading this article on what makes a man obsessed with a woman, you understand what men find attractive in women, along with the unfortunate effects of rejection.

We don’t just attract what we want. 

We attract what we allow.

Have clear boundaries in your life. Don’t let men with attachment issues and unhealthy ideas into your close circle.

You will save yourself from unnecessary drama and toxic experiences that leave you feeling jaded towards actual love and healthy relationships.

Every single time, choose love over obsession.

With that being said, if you would like to work with me directly, check out my services page for more information on my email consultation plan.

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