You’ve recently been through a breakup or rejection and you’re considering your options. No contact seems to be the right choice but you’re scared and thinking, what if he doesn’t contact me during no contact?
Honestly, if he doesn’t contact you during no contact then that just shows how little he actually cares.
Do you really want to be with someone who is perfectly happy with not being a part of your life?
I certainly wouldn’t be happy chasing after someone who values my presence so little.
Irrespective of whether he contacts you or not, the purpose of no contact is to give you space and freedom to move on from him without regrets or unfinished business.
Most people fall apart after breaking up or being rejected.
They’re not in the right space of mind and this often leads to behavior that diminishes self-worth and self-respect.
They chase, beg, plead, stalk and lash out at their ex or the person who rejected them.
The only thing you can accomplish from this type of behavior is ruining your chances of winning him back and destroying any attraction he might still have for you.
Related post: The art of no contact for beginners
Should I contact him if he doesn’t contact me?
That defeats the whole purpose of the no contact rule. Unless you’re using the 30 day no contact rule (which I don’t recommend), you should remain in no contact indefinitely.
Even if you don’t hear from him for months, you should not break no contact under any circumstances.
I hate to be so crude or insensitive but you should pretend as if that person never existed or is dead to you.
Because if you don’t, no contact turns into an unhealthy waiting game fueled by desire, nostalgia and obsession.
That’s neither healthy nor is it beneficial to you.
You shouldn’t contact him for his birthday nor should you during the festive holidays.
If you have financial reasons to contact him, that’s fine.
Keep it strictly professional. If you share custody of a child, don’t extend any communication beyond your child’s well being.
What does it mean if he hasn’t contacted me as yet?
There are a number of reasons why he hasn’t contacted you and they are as follows:
- He is currently dating someone else.
- He doesn’t miss you as yet.
- He isn’t ready to reach out.
- He’s unsure of where he stands
- He’s casually dating.
- He still hasn’t experienced the effects of a breakup.
If it’s only been a few days or weeks, I wouldn’t be surprised that he hasn’t reached out to you as yet.
Everyone is different and you can never truly predict when someone may start missing you or regretting their decision to break up.
For this very reason, I caution people against the 30 day no contact rule because it’s presupposing that your ex will suddenly start desiring you again within that time frame.
And that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Some people can go for months before the effects of a breakup start to affect them.
The separation anxiety, loneliness, discomfort, anxiety and sadness caused by a breakup can hit people at different times.
Which is why it’s best to use the indefinite no contact rule.
It prevents you from reaching out to him when he hasn’t even felt those feelings for you as yet.
When will he contact me?
If I were to estimate, I’d say within 3 – 6 months after the breakup.
Sometimes it could be within weeks and in other instances, it could take more than 6 months.
The time it takes him to reach out often depends on the seriousness of the relationship, the amount of time spent together and whether there is any unfinished business in the relationship.
The longer you’ve been with someone, the more experiences shared and a greater level of intimacy will greatly speed up the time it takes him to reach out.
But, I would advise you to prepare for the worst to avoid facing further disappointment if he doesn’t contact you within a specific time frame.
Related post: 5 Signs the no contact rule is working
Why will he contact me?
Usually, a guy will contact you if he realizes that the breakup was a mistake.
This realization takes place due to a number of different factors which are as follows:
- He got rejected by other women.
- He still loves you and can’t let go of you.
- He can’t handle the effects of the split (separation anxiety, loneliness and so on).
- He has gained a new perspective on life and wants to be with you.
These are usually what influences a man to come back after walking away.
If he walked away from the relationship because he felt like the grass is greener on the other side and he could find someone better, chances are such, if he ends up being wrong then that will further affect the above-mentioned factors for why he comes running back to you.
He’s going to contact you to either get you back or to get some comfort from an old source of love.
The latter reason is dangerous because you risk getting used and then tossed aside.
This is why you should always maintain your composure, don’t be overeager to engage with him and give him little to work with so that he either confesses how he feels or leaves you alone and doesn’t waste your time.
Related post: How to make a guy chase you by ignoring him
What should I do if he is in a rebound relationship?
Absolutely nothing. Don’t reach out to him. Don’t try to get his attention on social media. Carry on as if nothing has changed and stick to no contact.
Most of the time, rebound relationships fail.
People jump into these relationships in hopes of escaping the aftermath of a breakup.
Unfortunately, that’s not how life works. Eventually, he will have to deal with those feelings. He will end up missing you. He will experience the pain of separation and change.
When he does, the chances of that rebound relationship lasting are relatively low.
So you really don’t have to do anything. The chips will fall where they are meant to fall.
In the meantime, you should focus all of your energy on moving on. Here’s why – you’ll start to accept the breakup and you’ll gain some control over your life.
Eventually, you’ll start to feel great again. If and when he returns, you won’t fall apart and start chasing him like a crazy person. You’ll be in total control of yourself.
This will greatly benefit you. Rather than making silly mistakes, you’ll behave in a manner that drives him crazy with desire and attraction.
More than anything, I would encourage you to remain calm, don’t allow your doubts and fears to rule your mind and be patient.
By exercising patience, good things will happen.
You’ll never find yourself in awkward, humiliating and hurtful situations with an ex if you can maintain your composure and exercise emotional self control.
This is one of the hardest things anyone can do. But, once you get a hang of it, things begin to change for the better.
Just because he hasn’t contact you as yet doesn’t mean that he has moved on forever and forgotten about you.
Think about this for a second – have you forgotten an ex just because you haven’t spoken to him for a long time? You haven’t! You still remember all of them.
Similarly, he’s not going to forget you just because you’re not in contact or he is dating other people.
With that being said, feel free to leave your questions or thoughts in the comment section below. Also, suggest a topic you’d like for me to cover in a future article and I will.