Let’s say that you’ve reached your wits’ end with a certain attractive and mysterious guy. Rather than beating your head against a wall, you decide to bite the bullet and stop contacting him. As much as it feels good to do something empowering, you can’t help but wonder about him. In this article, I’m going to share my perspective as a man on what he thinks when you don’t contact him.
He thinks that you may have met someone else, that you are upset with him, that you are not interested in him, that you are done with him, or that you are playing hard to get. Guys don’t really think about a woman who doesn’t contact them if they have no investment, attraction, or interest in that woman.
In other words, if he doesn’t care about you or if he’s into someone else, he won’t think about you, even when you don’t contact him.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but the reason you’re reading this article is most likely because you want to ignore him or because you broke contact with him in hopes that it will trigger some kind of response from him.
Clearly, you care about him. Alternatively, you care about his opinion of you.
You want to feel like your absence matters to some degree.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling this way. I just wanted to establish the framework for this article so that I can share advice with you that is relevant and useful.
At the end of the day, a man who treats you poorly, doesn’t value your presence, and isn’t interested in you isn’t someone you should be in contact with.
It’s a waste of your time, energy, and affection.
Without a doubt in my mind, I can say that you made the right decision not to contact him.
There’s little to be gained from continuously chasing a man who just doesn’t escalate things emotionally and romantically.
By all means, pursue a man you’re interested in, but don’t spend weeks of your life chasing a man who gives you nothing in return.
You need to read this article: Is he thinking about me even though we don’t talk?
The Reason Why No Contact Works On Men
Men are more prone to obsessing over a woman they care about than women are.
It’s the truth.
I know of countless women who were madly in love with men but still continued to focus on the tasks they had and the things they wanted to do.
Men are not the same as women.
We struggle with balance and moderation when it comes to our attraction to and desire for women.
Once there’s interest, investment, and attraction, we are guaranteed to think about a woman frequently throughout the day.
Just think about the times you were on social media or dating apps.
Focus on the guys who were into you, but you weren’t all that interested in them.
Wouldn’t you agree that they were pretty needy and clingy?
Perhaps they were even desperate and creepily obsessive?
Two of the many turnoffs for women are clingy and desperate men.
The only reason they behave this way is because of how easy it is for a man to be consumed by his interest in and attraction to women.
Granted, a man who has an abundance of attention doesn’t behave this way.
But even he is prone to feeling obsessive over a woman he deems the cream of the crop.
The less available you were to those men who were really into you, the more clingy and desperate they became, correct?
So the assumption is that if you stop talking to a guy, if he was really into you, he’d think about you a lot.
In my opinion, that’s absolutely correct.
During those first few days or weeks, he’s going to think about you all the time.
The thing about people is that we do not tolerate uncertainty, and we struggle with closure.
If you stopped talking to him without explanation, he’s going to think about the reason for your departure.
He’ll be looking for answers to fill the gaps in his mind.
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Which brings us to the most common thoughts that come to mind when a man is seeking certainty or closure in a situation like this.
- You met someone else.
- You’re upset with him.
- You’re not interested in him.
- You are done with him.
- You’re playing hard to get.
In most cases, rejection breeds obsession.
Due to the fact that a lot of men are slaves to their egos, the probability of them thinking about you a lot and wanting to reach out is high.
Only men with strong emotional self-control, a strong sense of self-worth, stubbornness, or little emotional attachment make no effort to change what has transpired between the two of you.
If you notice that he allows you to leave without making any attempts to communicate for weeks or months, then, in most cases, he either doesn’t really care about you anymore or he has resigned himself to the reality that there’s no future for the two of you.
The odd message late at night isn’t a good sign either.
That’s just an indicator of loneliness or sexual desire. In both cases, it’s most likely that he’s looking for a quick fix of attention and affection.
But, it would be amiss of me not to mention that a man who genuinely cares about you will be distraught and deeply sad when you leave.
He may not be willing to pursue you or chase after you for whatever reason he has but he’ll definitely think about you and miss you.
You need to read this article: Does absence make your ex miss you?
Should You Reach Out To Him?
Is there a reason for you to contact him other than to satisfy a feeling within you?
Don’t get me wrong; it’s important to do what feels right to you.
In a lot of cases, the remedy to regret is to live according to your values, ethics, and feelings.
But, at the same time, we should not base every single decision we make on how we feel.
Our feelings don’t always take our journey, expectations, and needs into consideration. In fact, it can influence us to overlook all logic and reason.
That’s not something we should take lightly when we are trying to navigate the world of love.
It’s pretty ironic to say that, but it’s true.
Love with your heart and learn with your mind.
Marry the two, and you’ll make wonderful decisions for yourself and for your relationships.
- Is it in your best interest to contact him again?
- Will it help you to heal or will it open up old wounds?
- Is being in contact with him a source of peace or a shot of toxic thrill?
- Does he actually care about you or do you wish that he cared about you?
- What do you expect to happen from initiating contact with him again?
- Are you prepared for a negative outcome?
Sleep on these questions and really search your heart and mind for the honest answers. These questions, if answered truthfully, will give you a clear answer as to whether you should contact him again or not.
Ultimately, you should do what is best for you, not what is easiest.
You need to read this article: Here’s what happens when you stop chasing an avoidant
One of the ways to make no contact easier on you is to only do it if you are truly prepared to walk away forever.
Anything less than that will keep you hooked on this man, in some way or another.
Sometimes, we give ourselves closure by accepting something as unchangeable and making peace with it.
I choose to believe that life happens for me, not to me.
As long as I am honest in my intentions, flexible with the flow of life, deeply self respectful, and optimistic about the greater plan, I’ll always find good love.
Believe me when I tell you that this mindset leads to peace and ease, especially in your romantic life.
It’s much easier to allow the right people into your life and keep the wrong people out of it when you embody the belief mentioned above.
That brings us to the end of this article on what he thinks when you don’t contact him. I hope that it has provided you with a better understanding of how men think and behave in this situation. If you would like to work with me directly, check out my services page for more information on how to get in contact with me.