Rejection is painful. You may have mustered up the courage to hit on him or her only to get blown off. Perhaps you invested a lot into this person. It’s only natural that you want to react. Before you do, it’s important to understand exactly what happens when you react badly to rejection.
Rather than come across as a strong, confident and desirable person who has an abundance in your life, you come across adversely.
To be more specific, you end up looking desperate, weak, erratic and even unstable.
This will completely ruin any chance you had of turning the situation around. Not all rejection stems from a complete lack of attraction.
Sometimes, a person may be going through personal issues and is just not ready for a relationship with anyone at the moment.
By lashing out and reacting badly to rejection, you do significant damage to the attraction.
Once the attraction is lost, good luck trying to rebuild that fallen castle. Respect goes hand in hand with attraction.
Unfortunately, reacting badly to rejection often takes the form of behavior that ruins levels of respect.
Let’s take a look at some of the ways people react badly to rejection.
Related post: How to handle rejection from a girl
1. They lash out
Under no circumstances should you lash out on someone who rejects you, even if they led you on.
Lashing out depicts you as a temperamental and unstable person.
Rather than that person walking away from the interaction thinking, was that the right decision? Did I make a mistake rejecting him or her?
They walk away feeling validated because you reacted in a bad way.
Now they have this image of you that is poor and inaccurate. You’re no longer a possible love story that walked away, you’re just a crazy person.
Sure, it’s understandable that someone feels hurt and dejected from being turned down.
And it sucks to have to even upset someone like that. But when you lash out rudely, it just makes the other person feel vindicated or guilty.
Surely, that’s not the correct way to start any relationship.
2. They start to negotiate
As much as there is a factor of negotiation within relationships and life, that doesn’t extend to rejection and being dumped.
What could you possibly offer at this point, other than your self worth and dignity, to convince someone to change there mind about you?
You can’t talk your way into making someone find you more physically attractive after being rejected. Nor can you talk someone into thinking you’re exactly what they’re looking for after they’ve come to the conclusion that you aren’t.
Doing so will only diminish your self image.
You never want to negotiate and belittle yourself to make someone take another look at you.
That’s not how a relationship should ever start. If anything, you should be focusing on finding someone who falls in love with you for exactly who you are.
3. They become visibly upset and cold
I don’t think anyone would or could blame you for being upset that a guy or girl you like rejected you. They may understand it completely and even feel sorry for you.
But that’s where the problem lies.
Do we want them to look at us with pity for being so distraught that they rejected us?
Is that the look of men or women who are confident, strong and optimistic? I don’t think so.
It’s okay to be bummed but never be cold towards rejection. Be indifferent. Don’t give people the satisfaction of knowing they got under your skin and took control of your emotions.
I believe the only time it’s okay to be cold is when you are dealing with toxic people who you want out of your life.
Otherwise, be indifferent and polite. Walk away from the situation with your self worth intact. They’ll actually respect you for not turning into mush after facing rejection.
Related post: What to say when a girl rejects you over text
4. They try to backtrack
They know you’re interested. You know you’re interested. Both of you are fully aware of the situation. How does pretending like none of that happened help make things less awkward?
Don’t pretend you were joking or didn’t mean it. Own it. Respect the fact that you had the cajones to try and get him or her.
Failing at something is not something to be embarrassed by. Most people don’t even have the courage to try!
Own what happened, be respectful and let him or her know that you completely understand and it’s all cool. You just had to shoot your shot because they’re awesome.
I promise you it’s a much better approach to rejection. They’ll respect you immensely for this rather than cowering away in fear of having to face rejection.
Your reaction to rejection can change her decision
Seriously, it can! By no means am I saying that they’ll do a quick turn around within a day and suddenly want to be with you!
But, as time goes by and they think about you again, they’re going to reflect on how you handled the rejection.
We all analyze the people we could have been with when we have gone a significant amount of time without finding someone or after a breakup.
If you reacted poorly to the rejection and ruined all of their attraction, they won’t give you a second thought.
But if you handled it like a person with an attitude of abundance, confidence and respect, they may actually feel a new spark of attraction or desire for you.
Don’t be surprised if you get a ‘Hey stranger‘ message or call out of the blue.
Trust me when I tell you that this has happened to me on more than one occasion.
Just remember that women are inundated with guys hitting on them online and in person. They have to deal with a host of shitty guys on a daily basis.
It’s not uncommon for a woman to reject you, even rudely, only to come back and apologize when she realizes she made a mistake and that you were not who she thought you’d be.
It can rewire the way you view challenges
I have a friend who is incredibly talented at a form of art. He has big dreams and the skills to back it up. But, over the years he developed anxiety.
At the epicenter of his anxiety, the fear of rejection overcomes his mind, heart and soul.
He has another fear that holds just as much weight in his life. It’s the fear of never realizing his life dream.
And so he faces a daily battle between desire and fear.
Unfortunately, during his early years of trying and failing, he placed too much emphasis on failure and rejection. His reaction to this natural phenomenon was to break down and attack himself rather than the problem.
Instead of taking it on the chin and letting it go, he internalized rejection in those early instances to be a rejection of himself entirely.
If he had only prepared himself for the inevitability of failure and rejection, he may not have been so shaken up by it. But, he wasn’t. And so, it haunts him.
But that desire to realize his dream never dissipates.
And so, he continues to try when he can muster up some courage and get results. This is one of the possibilities of what happens when you react badly to rejection. And it sucks!
You will face rejection. Everyone does. You are going to like some people who just don’t feel the same way.
It’s normal. It’s okay. You’re not alone.
Even though you have a high opinion of these people doesn’t mean their rejection has to be a denial of your self worth and awesomeness.
If you look at rejection as a step closer to finding the man or woman of your dreams, you’d soak it up like a sponge. That’s how I approach the situation and it has led me to some amazing relationships in my life.
I would have never met some of the wonderful people in my life had I not faced rejection from others.
And in the end, I don’t sit back and think about being rejected. I think about the people who I connected with deeply and sincerely.
So if you can find it in yourself to alter your attitude towards failure, it can actually become a positive feature in your life.
With that being said, I hope you found this article to be insightful. Please share your thoughts or questions in regards to what happens when you react badly to rejection.
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