It can be really confusing and frustrating when your girlfriend starts to act differently and less invested in the relationship. Most guys in this situation are desperately looking for an answer to the following question – what does it mean when your girlfriend loses interest in you?
Usually, it means that she’s starting to feel bored in the relationship or slightly distant because something or the other isn’t fulfilling her. This can be a result of monotony and predictability.
I’ve come to realize that spontaneity is an important characteristic in romantic relationships.
Even I have gone through a bout when routine dictated everything in my relationship and it impacted the way my partner felt.
It hurts when your girlfriend loses interest in you.
And like most guys, it bruised my ego when we were forced to have a very honest and raw conversation about the way things were going.
The beautiful thing about this is that you have an opportunity to fix things. You can reinvigorate your relationship and restore that interest your girlfriend once had for you.
It’s never too late unless she wants out of the relationship and is in love with someone else.
If that hasn’t occurred, you have an opportunity to not only restore her interest and attraction in you but to develop the relationship into something even better while improving your life in the process.
Let’s get in the meat of this article on what does it mean when your girlfriend loses interest in you.
Signs your girlfriend is losing interest in you
Before dealing with a problem, we need to be aware of it, what it looks like and the way it presents itself.
Most guys are blind to these signs and end up missing out on key behaviors that indicate a loss of interest.
Pay attention, make some notes and be honest with yourself when deciding whether your girlfriend has exhibited any of these signs.
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1. She doesn’t text or call you often
When your girlfriend goes from texting and calling you all the time to replying only when you text her, it’s usually a sign of poor interest.
Unless she’s upset with you or actually super busy with work or going through a personal loss, there’s no reason for her to stop making an effort.
I’d like to think that women are far more active and punctual with texting than men are. This is especially true when it comes to their partner.
If your girlfriend has slowed down all of her texts and calls, it’s a sign she’s losing interest.
Related post: Why did she stop texting me?
2. She seems bored around you
During a good phase in any relationship, you’ll notice that your girlfriend is all over you. She’s brimming with excitement and clinging to you in the sweetest way.
She hangs on your every word and her eyes almost sparkle with admiration as she looks at you.
However, when this picture-perfect reaction changes to a dull, bored and almost disinterested demeanor around you, it’s a bad sign.
Granted, most couples can’t maintain the honeymoon phase for too long and the two of you are bound to lose some of that insane level of excitement as you spend more time together.
However, a strong and solid interest should remain irregardless of how much time has elapsed.
When she looks visibly bored and this is an ongoing issue, it might be time to consider the possibility that she is losing interest in you.
3. She no longer makes an effort to be romantic
When your girlfriend is all over you and soaks up all the romance as well as makes every effort to be romantic, she’s happy and in love.
When she isn’t doing any of those things and you can sense a degree of distance, she’s not feeling all that great about you or the relationship.
It may not mark the end of your relationship but there’s an issue that definitely needs to be addressed.
When you are certain that the cause of this change has nothing to do with her work life, family life or health, then the most obvious option is that her problem is with you or the relationship.
4. She isn’t interested in much intimacy
On the topic of romance, intimacy of any form is a sign of a healthy relationship.
I’m not just referring to physical intimacy in this section because I know that a lot of people from different religions and cultures may refrain from physical intimacy until marriage.
It’s a component but not the only element of intimacy in a relationship.
That closeness and desire to be connected with each other is something that is nurtured and essential to any healthy relationship.
Without it, you’re bound to experience problems. The thing is, a lack of intimacy can stem from a problem and become one as well.
In this case, when she pulls away and you feel like she’s trying to create some space from you physically, emotionally and mentally, it’s a sign she’s losing interest.
5. She argues with you often
As much as bickering and arguing can be a sign of closeness between a couple who are strong-minded and very opinionated, it can also be a sign of disinterest that manifests in a breakdown of communication.
Arguments can quickly become unhealthy for a relationship.
It can cause resentment and insert doubt into what was once a solid and stable relationship with good communication.
When your girlfriend starts picking arguments with you, it could just be a way of adding some excitement and life to the relationship because she’s losing interest and that makes her feel bored or frustrated.
It could also be her way of trying to get through to you or venting because you refuse to take heed of how she’s feeling and what she’s saying.
Treat the root cause of all these arguments rather than the arguments themselves.
6. She’s spending more time with other people or guy friends
Another telltale sign your girlfriend is losing interest in you is if she puts your relationship on the backburner and opts to spend much more time with other people, especially guy friends.
She wouldn’t do that if she felt engaged and excited to see you and be in your company.
There’s a fine line between maintaining your social life and choosing it over your romantic life.
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Reasons why your girlfriend lost interest in you
Now, let’s discuss the behavior that resulted in your girlfriend losing interest. This will help you to adjust and improve yourself in a way that wins her back.
1. The relationship became boring
Even though a relationship can’t remain in the honeymoon phase forever, that doesn’t mean it can’t be exciting and fun.
When you become too comfortable and assume that your girlfriend is and will always be in love with you, that’s when you stop doing the things that made her fall in love with you.
At that point, the romance starts to fizzle out and because you aren’t making an effort to keep romancing her, the relationship becomes boring.
2. You’re not spontaneous anymore
Building on the last point, falling into a routine may be comfortable but it’s detrimental to a relationship.
Part of what makes love so potent is shared experiences.
Trying new things, visiting new places, being unpredictable and exploring activities outside of your comfort zone will keep your relationship fresh and exciting.
When you sacrifice spontaneity for routine, you end up sacrificing excitement for predictability.
Where’s the fun in that?
Taking her to the same places on the same nights and ordering the same food is boring as hell.
And yet, it’s comfortable and we end up doing it either way.
Unfortunately, that comfort brings about great discomfort in the form of a distance and uninterested girlfriend.
3. You’re too fixated on the future or other things
The problem with focusing on the future is that you don’t have control over it. And when your focus is on what you can’t control, you end up neglecting what you can control and that is the present moment and your relationship.
It’s not good enough to plan to have fun in the future.
That won’t make you or your girlfriend happy.
Additionally, when you focus on the future, the stress and anxiety of the uncertain will suck the joy out of your life.
For this reason, many guys end up worrying too much and behaving erratically. This is not beneficial for your relationship or wellbeing at all.
4. You’re not making an effort to be your best self
Just because you managed to get the girl of your dreams doesn’t mean that the ‘game’ is over. I believe that if you’re not improving, you’re getting worse.
That has been my personal experience.
There’s only a brief period when things remain stable until they start to diminish due to a lack of effort and investment.
The less effort you put into looking good, improving your life, being a better communicator and partner, the more your relationship will suffer.
5. You’re chasing after her too much
When men become paranoid and fear losing their girlfriend, they tend to adopt behaviors that are unattractive and damaging to their relationship.
In other words, what they fear is what they attract.
You must be willing to give your girlfriend some space to miss you. By doing this, she will excitedly choose to be with you.
When you overwhelm her with neediness and clinginess, you come across as an overbearing boyfriend who can’t stop chasing his girlfriend,
In the end, you’ll chase her away from you.
Related post: How to make her miss you
What to do when your girlfriend loses interest in you
Since we know what the signs and reasons are for why your girlfriend lost interest, let’s go over some full-proof tactics on how to save your relationship and re-attract her.
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1. Be spontaneous
Here’s the truth, you can actually plan to be spontaneous.
By this, I simply mean that you can plan to try new things, visit new places, surprise your girlfriend with a romantic gesture and so forth.
Just don’t tell her about it.
What I’ve come to learn is that when you are not spontaneous by nature, it can be a hit and miss to surprise your girlfriend on the fly.
So, for this reason, come up with new and exciting ways to date your girlfriend but allow her to experience it at the moment rather than give her an itinerary of what to expect.
2. Give her space to miss you
You don’t have to be chasing your girlfriend all the time, blowing up her phone with calls, texting her for hours at a time or being with her 24/7 to keep her happy.
On the contrary, a bit of time away from each other can actually be wonderful for a relationship.
Go get busy pursuing some goals and hobbies that you like and then go spend time with your girlfriend.
You may find that she calls or texts you because she misses you and wants to see you.
That shows a positive sign of attraction and interest.
3. Don’t dump your problems on her every day and all the time
A relationship should weather storms and your girlfriend should be supportive of you during difficulties in your life.
However, dropping problems and negativity on her all the time will make her feel miserable eventually.
She’ll start to associate problems and negativity with you and that’s dangerous.
At the end of the day, love thrives in happiness and joyful experiences.
There comes a time when you have to leave all that baggage at the door and just focus on having a good time with your girlfriend.
Balance is important, my friend.
And your girlfriend is your romantic partner, not your therapist.
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4. Have an honest conversation with her about what’s lacking in your relationship
Communication can solve almost any problem in a relationship. I strongly believe this.
With good communication, you will find a bond that can withstand many issues and a level of interest that endures many rough patches.
Your girlfriend doesn’t want you to fail in the relationship. She doesn’t want to lose interest in you.
So, if you’re willing to leave ego out of the conversation and have a conversation with her about habits that have caused issues for the two of you as well as ways in which you can be a better partner, I’m sure that she’ll be willing to help.
It’s not going to be the greatest thing to hear constructive criticism but if you internalize it with the intention of improving your relationship, it will change things for the better.
Just because your girlfriend is losing interest in you doesn’t mean it spells doom and destruction.
You can bounce back and re-attract her to the point that she’s fawning over you.
But, the changes required of you will require sacrificing some of your ego for personal growth. I think that it’s a trade worth making.
With that being said, I hope this article on what to do when your girlfriend loses interest in you was insightful and helpful. Be sure to check out my book The Attraction Game – How To Get The Girl Of Your Dreams if you would like to avoid problems like this and fix them completely, once and for all.