If your boyfriend accuses you of cheating, it means that he is insecure, suspicious by nature, afraid of losing you, hypersensitive or has baggage in respect of infidelity.
He will most likely be able to work through these issues with counseling and effort.
But, it could be a much more intricate problem.
Accusing someone of something with or without evidence can be linked to one’s own indiscretions in the past or present.
Furthermore, it could be an indication that he has a much more serious self-sabotaging problem stemming from commitment issues.
I completely understand how frustrating, painful and unnecessary this is for you.
Don’t give up on the relationship as yet.
There are ways in which you can help your boyfriend overcome his fears, insecurities and hangups.
But first, he has to be willing and self-aware enough to admit that his cheating accusations are out of hand and unnecessary.
Then he has to face the reality that suspicion of cheating always leads to a bad outcome.
If his suspicion is true, the relationship ends based on infidelity. And if it’s not true, then eventually you’re going to get fed up with the accusations and break up with him.
Either way, it’s a lose-lose situation.
Another possibility for why he keeps accusing you of cheating is because he grew up in a household that was tainted by a cheating or insecure parent.
I think you already know that we are molded by the 5 closest people in our lives.
If we grow up with parents who have a poor marriage that is clouded by infidelity, it’s going to affect the kids.
So with that in mind, let’s talk about how you can stop your boyfriend from always accusing you of cheating.
1. Reassure him of your feelings
Sometimes, the simplest solutions can fix even the most complex problems.
When you notice that he is on edge and the accusation of cheating starts to fester, express your love.
In not judging him, you create a safe environment for him to completely open up about his fears and insecurity.
You may even get to the bottom line of the situation and be able to clear any doubts that may be lingering about the relationship.
Heck, he may even realize how unnecessary and toxic it is to continue his bombardment of accusations on you.
2. Explain to him how it hurts to be accused of cheating
Often as individuals, we become completely wrapped in our own narrative of life that we forget the impact we have on others.
He may be giving in to his insecurities and fears without realizing how painful, hurtful and degrading it is to accuse someone of cheating incessantly.
Let him know exactly how it makes you feel.
You don’t have to even fight with him. Sit him down during a good phase in the relationship or immediately after your boyfriend accuses you of cheating and share how you feel.
If he is allowed to express his insecurity and fears by accusing you of something terrible, you have every right to express the consequence of that action on your feelings.
3. Explain to him how it affects the relationship
A healthy relationship depends predominantly on trust. Without trust, you have nothing.
No amount of physical attraction can save a relationship that is devoid of trust.
Once broken, trust is very difficult to regain.
Every single time your boyfriend accuses you of cheating, he chips away at the foundation of trust.
Eventually, there’s be only remnants of a solid foundation. Things could fall apart incredibly fast at that point.
You’ll probably lose most of the attraction you felt towards him up until this point.
I think it’s important to explain to a suspicious man all of these things.
There’s just one question he needs to sit and ponder on – how would you feel if you lost me and for nothing?
4. Set some boundaries that he must respect
If he continues to accuse you of cheating despite your many attempts to communicate with him and accommodate his demands, it’s time to lay down the law.
I’m not someone who advocates ultimatums but there are a time and place for everything.
Either he shows you respect by withholding these unfounded accusations or you two part ways for good.
It may be a take it or leave it ultimatum but let me ask you this, do you really want to spend your life with a man who thinks you’re incapable of loyalty?
Would you feel safe to be your true self around him?
Food for thought!
5. Is there something you can do or not do to help him feel secure?
You can’t force someone to trust you, right?
But, much like respect, you can do certain things as a courtesy to him – things that help him deal with his insecurities.
Find out what his triggers are?
Perhaps it’s all in his head which would be annoying but it’s a possibility. Maybe you can try to avoid being a bit flirty when communicating with other guys.
Or you could make it more known that he is your partner. It could be the solution to this entire mess.
If he feels like people know you’re together, it may appear to him that you are proud to call him your boyfriend.
That’s a great feeling to experience and it could help him be secure in the relationship.
What I don’t advise is drastically changing who you are or tip-toeing around him just so that he doesn’t have a meltdown.
That’s not healthy nor is it fair to you.
Small tweaks to your communication or behavior around other men are okay, in so far as it doesn’t end up infringing on who you are at the core of your personality.
Check out this article on how to deal with negative emotions.
Let time work it’s magic
Often, men can become insecure and accusatory when they feel threatened. This usually happens when the two of you have not been as plugged into the relationship.
Life is demanding. It’s not easy to maintain a serious relationship when you have all these priorities to deal with.
It’s not uncommon for a couple to drift a bit or neglect each other when life gets crazy.
What’s important is the effort you make when it happens.
If you haven’t been calling or seeing him enough, maybe take the initiative and do so.
If the relationship is too new, maybe your boyfriend needs time to adjust and realize that it’s okay to let his guard down and put his complete trust in you.
Eventually, he probably will stop overthinking everything in the relationship.
Build trust through teamwork
Another cool suggestion would be to pick up a team sport or activity you can engage in with your boyfriend.
By working with each other, you inadvertently begin to understand each other better.
This compounds over time and allows trust to grow and flourish.
That’s why a team/duo sport is a great way to build trust while having fun and spending quality time with your boyfriend.
All team sports require trust. Without it, the team falls apart. That’s why I strongly advocate for anyone and everyone to partake in something of this nature with their partner.
Keep this in mind – the couple that plays together, stays together!
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