Texting can make or break a potential relationship. I’m sure you know that by now. This is why I have placed an emphasis on writing about it so much. Far too many people who are amazing in person text themselves out of good situations. Be that as it may, texting is a two-way street and you’re not responsible for everything that goes right or wrong. So, in this article, I want to talk about what it means when he starts texting less.
When he starts texting less, it could mean that he has a legitimate reason for being busy and unable to text you often for a specific period of time or it could be a sign that he’s losing interest in you or talking to other girls.
I just want to emphasize that texting less doesn’t necessarily amount to a problem.
In all relationships and courtships, attraction grows and dips naturally.
Just imagine a graph with highs and lows that take the form of a wave.
As long as the overall graph is heading on an upward trajectory or is maintaining stability, there’s nothing to worry about.
What this means is that it’s normal for him to text a lot for a while and then text less for some time after.
This is usually the case when you spend a significant amount of time with someone.
You need a bit of space to start missing them again and once you do, your texting frequency improves again.
That could be the case here and it’s okay.
Alternatively, he could be going through a demanding week that is occupying most of his time and energy.
He may not be able to text you as often during this short phase but once things regulate, normal texting frequency resumes.
Again, this is nothing to worry about and can actually prove to be beneficial in growing both your and his desire to be with each other.
It really only becomes a serious cause for concern when you notice that he’s online often or active on social media but ignoring your texts.
Also, if he’s not online but you’re noticing a steady decline in texting over an extended period of time that isn’t remedied with time spent in person.
He could be losing interest for a number of reasons, which is probably why you’re concerned and confused about this right now.
What I am going to do is discuss all these reasons below and highlight those which are problematic.
Thereafter, I’m going to share my advice on what you should do if he’s texting less because he’s losing interest, trying to fade away or ghosting you.
Related post: He takes hours to reply, should I do the same?
Reasons Why He’s Texting You Less
1. He’s busy with work
Any high-value man who is committed to growth will spend a lot of time in the pursuit of his purposes and goals.
As much as he would like to spend all of his time with the people he loves, he’s also aware that to best serve them, he must work towards becoming the best version of himself.
Perhaps, this is the reason why he started texting less.
With an increasing demand for his time and focus, he may not be able to text back as much or as fast as he would like.
The good thing is that it will pass.
Once he adjusts and meets whatever deadline he has, his texting should return to normal.
One thing to note is that he should not be online a lot without texting you back. That doesn’t align with the idea of him being so busy with work.
Related post: Why are his texts so dry?
2. He’s just returning to his average frequency of texting
During those early days of courtship, enthusiasm and excitement are at an all-time high.
Most people dedicate more time towards texting someone new that they have a high interest in than they normally do.
As time passes, what appears to be them texting less merely becomes a sign of them returning to their average pace or frequency of texting.
This doesn’t necessarily amount to a bad thing, as long as their overall tone, demeanor and length of texts haven’t changed.
Additionally, it shouldn’t taper off any more than it has.
If it seems like there’s a steady decline that hasn’t stabilized, then that is cause for concern.
Related post: What does it mean if he hasn’t replied in 3 hours?
3. He’s talking to other girls
This will probably be disappointing to read but it’s a real possibility, especially if you have spent a lot of time trying to nurture something special with him.
Usually, when a guy is talking to other girls and texts you less, he’ll be online while ignoring you, his texts will be short and ambiguous, there’ll be a loss of enthusiasm, and he’ll give shallow and poor excuses for why he hasn’t been texting you much, he’ll be active on social media interacting with other girls and he’ll be non-committal to anything with you.
Does it automatically mean that all hope is lost? Absolutely not.
But, this can trigger feelings of anxiety and even betrayal because this isn’t a good sign at all.
4. His interest in someone else is growing
Part of dating requires you to accept the possibility that someone who once showed a high interest in you may change their mind and end up with someone else.
It sucks but this is probably why it’s a good idea to have an open conversation with people on what you expect from them.
You may notice that he’s online often but not replying to you and his replies appear disinterested and colder than it previously was.
5. He’s pulling away from you intentionally
You never truly know what someone’s intentions are and how they truly feel. You can develop a keen eye for spotting signs but that is really as far as it goes.
Perhaps, him texting you less is a sign of him pulling away intentionally and in a planned manner.
We live in a time when people slowly fade out of our lives or just ghost us instead of exercising the courage to let us go in a respectful manner.
Related post: Should I block him if he ignores me?
6. He’s not looking for a relationship with you
As I said above, some people opt for the easy and less respectful way of rejecting someone and so they distance themselves really slowly.
Their intention is to pretend like they’re way too busy to make time for you.
They’ll come up with these shallow reasons for why they can’t reply to you as they would and yet you’ll notice their social media activity hasn’t changed at all.
Their texts will subtly change from flirtatious, enthusiastic, upbeat and romantic to friendly and cordial.
He’s hoping that you’ll get fed up and just accept the way things are.
Alternatively, he’ll text you less when it seems as if you want a relationship but once you start backing off and he feels it’s safe to return back to normal for his fun and enjoyment, he’ll come back and repeat the process.
What You Should Do If He Stops Texting You
Stop chasing him
Chasing someone who is backing away and isn’t interested in you will only amount to more rejection and embarrassment.
People mostly value that which they have to work for.
When they are being rewarded for something they didn’t earn, they’ll fail to appreciate it or develop a deep connection or attachment to it.
This is why chasing a man who is showing very little interest in you is dangerous and a waste of your time.
There’s a fine line between pursuing a man and chasing him.
Blowing up his phone, texting him all the time and simply throwing yourself at him when he doesn’t seem appreciative, excited, interested or attracted to you is a disservice to yourself.
If you actually want to reattract him, behave like someone who knows their true value. Someone who is self-aware and self-respecting will never sacrifice their dignity for the approval or validation of someone else.
Make an effort but if he doesn’t reciprocate, you have to muster up the inner strength and confidence to stop.
Match and mirror him
Let’s assume for a moment that you were coming on too strong and you chased him away.
What do you do?
Great question. Well, the best thing to do is match and mirror his behavior until he starts showing visible signs of being more interested in you again.
What this means is that you should text or call him in a similar manner and frequency as he does.
By doing this, you’ll avoid coming on too strong or desperate in any way.
This will allow the possibility for interest and attraction to regrow without you having to behave in a self-defeating manner.
Related post: When someone sees your message but doesn’t reply
Focus on having fun
The last thing on your mind is probably having fun with him but that’s actually how you regain attraction and interest in someone.
If you fixate too much on their interest level and where things are headed, you’re going to suffer while feeling incapable of being joyful, secure, confident and excited.
All those attributes are attractive and yet, fixating on what’s happening can inhibit those emotions and traits.
This is why it’s important to remain partially detached from any specific outcome when you are dating until you feel some certainty that there’s a mutual interest and attraction between the two of you.
If you take only one thing away from this article on what it means when he starts texting less, let it be this – you deserve someone who treats you like a priority.
There’s very little satisfaction in convincing someone to see your worth and spend time with you.
When you are in the thick of it, the feeling is addictive but nothing trumps the feeling of being truly loved, appreciated, celebrated, supported and cherished.
When you find the right guy, you won’t struggle as much as this.
I promise you.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on what it means when he starts texting less to be insightful and helpful. If you have any questions or thoughts that you’d like to share with me, pop over to the comment section below and let me know.