What Does It Mean If He Hasn’t Contacted You In Months?


he hasn't contacted you, he didn't contact you in months, why didn't he contact me in months

Missing an ex isn’t something out of the ordinary and it can be expected that you may want them to reach out after doing no contact. But, what does it mean if he hasn’t contacted you in months?

If he hasn’t contacted you in months, it usually means that he has moved on and met someone else or gotten over his feelings for you. It could also mean that he hasn’t forgiven you yet which is why he hasn’t contacted you again.

I like to maintain that the no contact rule will either work relatively soon after implementing it or after a couple of months depending on the circumstances pertaining to the breakup.

Just because he hasn’t contacted you in months doesn’t mean he never will.

But, there’s an expiration date and it’s quickly approaching.

Once you reach a year or more, it’s safe to say that you’re not going to hear from him again because too much time has passed. 

Be that as it may, let’s discuss in detail what it means if he hasn’t contacted you in months. 

Related post: If a guy doesn’t contact you for a day

1. He’s moved on and met someone else

As a guy, I’m willing to admit that most of us have the tendency to jump into rebound relationships or get back to dating relatively quickly.

It’s either because we’re extremely hurt and our self-esteem has taken a huge knock from the breakup so we try to drown our pain and gain some form of validation by dating other people or he wasn’t that interested or invested from the get-go. 

This is especially true if you find that he has moved on relatively soon after the breakup.

Alternatively, he put in the time to get over you and has now met someone he genuinely has feelings for.

You can’t control the time it takes someone to move on after a breakup and as much as guys rebound, some of them are just moving on with their life and dating again because they like other people. 

Related post: Is my ex over me?

2. He no longer has feelings for you

Guys who handle a breakup healthily know all too well that rebounding or chasing other women is an unhealthy way of dealing with the feelings associated with the end of a relationship.

So, they go through the difficult period of mourning the end of the relationship on their own. 

They deal with the desire of missing you or yearning for you by experiencing the feelings, talking about it to others, journaling, working and accepting things for how they are. 

Eventually, time helps most people work through their emotional wounds and he could have let go of you emotionally. 

By doing so, he may care about you as a person and someone he used to love but those feelings that inspired him to be with you are no longer present. 

And so, he has no reason for contacting you because he doesn’t desire a relationship or connection with you right now. 

Related post: 30 Signs he doesn’t love you anymore

3. He hasn’t forgiven you as yet

I’m not the kind of person who likes to hold a grudge and I often find myself extremely bothered by the end of any kind of relationship.

But, when someone does something that I consider to be an ultimate betrayal or blatant disrespect, I’m even willing to walk away from them.

I’ve even managed to completely cut contact with girls who were toxic to me in the past despite actually caring about them deeply at one point. 

Imagine men who are not so accommodating to bad behavior! 

They’re going to walk away and cut you off indefinitely if you hurt them deeply or betrayed their trust. 

Until he has found the ability to desire to forgive you, I’m afraid that he won’t be contacting you.

This is all dependent on whether you have done something for him to hate you. 

Related post: Will my ex unblock me?

4. He’s using the no contact rule on you

So far, I’ve been discussing what it means if he doesn’t contact you for months under the assumption that he ended the relationship or is upset with you but if you’re the dumper, then it’s highly possible that he is using the no contact rule.

If so, then that is a testament to the efficacy of no contact because it has you thinking about him and trying to figure out why he hasn’t come back chasing after you. 

Let me just say this, no contact isn’t just some ploy to get the dumper back. 

On the contrary, its intended purpose is to help someone who has been dumped to move on and prioritize their own happiness over the desire to chase after an ex. 

If he is using no contact and it’s been months since he contacted you, then I’m afraid to say that the only way you’re going to hear from him is if you initiate contact. 

The fact that he hasn’t contacted you in months shows that he is fully committed to moving on and there’s no guarantee that he’s going to break it now because the toughest phase is the first few weeks after the split. 

Related post: Why isn’t he texting me?

5. He’s confused

Relationships can be complicated and even more so after a split.

Unless he has a proper understanding of what he wants, it’s unlikely that he’s going to contact you. 

It would be pointless to do so because he’s on the fence about what he wants. 

Stringing you along until he figures himself out will only be unfair to you.

And so, he’s trying to save you and him the trouble until he knows whether he wants to try again or wants to leave things as they are. 

Related post: 10 Signs he’s losing interest in you

6. He’s being vindictive

Perhaps there was a time when you kept him waiting on you or when you disappeared on him so now he’s returning the favor.

It’s obviously a really immature thing to do but if he’s vindictive or someone who likes to get even, then don’t be surprised if he’s trying to give you a taste of your own medicine.

Either way, it’s not a healthy way to deal with the situation at all and is actually a red flag.

Should you contact him after months?

The fact that months have passed since the two of you have last spoken creates somewhat of a safeguard from looking desperate in any way if you decide to contact him.

I would say that if you dumped him or did something to hurt him, it would be a good idea to reach out and initiate contact.

There’s no reason to send lengthy and emotional texts to him either. 

A simple greeting is a good way to gauge whether he wants to talk or not.

If he replies, then you can test the waters and measure his responses. 

From what I know, when a guy seems enthusiastic and friendly after contacting him, then there’s no bad blood. If he doesn’t reply or sends one-word responses that are cold, then he’s either still upset with you or just uninterested. 

This is the risk you run by contacting him but if you feel strongly about him, then it’s worth the risk if you ask me.

But, prepare yourself for both outcomes so that you don’t find yourself feeling very disappointed if he isn’t open to communicating with you. 

I would like to add that if you were dumped and you’re in the process of doing no contact, don’t break it. 

Trust me when I tell you that it’s not worth the effort. If he truly missed you or loved you, then he’d have contacted you by now at least once.

Don’t undo all the progress you have made in trying to move on. 

I understand how you feel but don’t act out of impulse or a storm of emotions. 

I’m the kind of person who wears my heart on my sleeve and I tend to allow emotion to dictate my choices. 

Often, I notice that simply waiting 24 hours before making a decision gives me the clarity and time I need to decide whether I actually want to go ahead or not. 

You haven’t spoken to him in months so what’s another 24 hours? It’s not going to hurt you in any way or cause issues. 

Just sleep on it and then decide whether you want to break no contact. 

The last thing I want you to consider is whether there’s a good enough reason to contact him.

This will require you to exercise brutal honesty with yourself but is there a genuine belief that things will be different this time?

Is there a future with him if the two of you reconcile or are the same issues that caused the split still applicable? 

These are valid questions to explore before contacting him because it can save the two of you from unnecessary pain and hurt in the future. 

Related post: Should I text him or wait?

In conclusion

To summarize, If he hasn’t contacted you in months, it usually means that he has moved on and met someone else or gotten over his feelings for you. It could also mean that he hasn’t forgiven you, doesn’t know what he wants or is being vindictive to get back at you which is why he hasn’t contacted you again.

I know how tempted you are to contact him but I plead with you to consider all the factors mentioned in this article before you do so.

Based on that, if you find yourself feeling strongly about contacting him, then go ahead and do so. 

At the end of the day, you have to follow your gut while also prioritizing your own happiness. 

Just be sure to take care of yourself and don’t stop focusing on improving your life.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on what it means if he hasn’t contacted you in months to be eye-opening and insightful. Please feel free to share your thoughts or questions by visiting the comment section below.

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